Mitch Hedberg quotes - Page 2

Eric Forman

Joined: Jul 27, 2005

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I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,"Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were.

Eric Forman

Joined: Jul 27, 2005

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10:01a, 8/1/07

I went to the doctor; all he did was suck blood from my neck. Do not go see Dr.Acula.

Eric Forman

Joined: Jul 27, 2005

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10:02a, 8/1/07

I called the hotel operator, she said,"How can I direct your call?" "Well, you could say 'Action.' And I will begin to dial. then when I say goodbye, you can yell 'Cut.' And if you want, you can wear a beret and knickers."

txagfred04

Joined: Jan 16, 2006

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10:04a, 8/1/07

quote:
People associate long hair with drug use. I wish people associated long hair with something other than drug use, like an extreme longing for cake. And then strangers would see a long haired guy and say, "That guy eats cake!" "He is on bundt cake!" Mothers saying to their daughters, "Don't bring the cake eater over here anymore. He smells like flour. Did you see how excited he got when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?"