I DO know that you should take out her screen name or she's gonna start getting IMs.

not from me, but yeah - you should remove that.

She's kinda cute.

I got the confusion thing lately too and it sucks. Now she's back with her ex and and is completely happy.

There is no good solution. Some guys go off and act a *****, but I have no desire to do that. You can mope and waste your time (I do that against better judgement). You can try to be friends, but then it takes a lot longer to move on (trying to do that). In the end, the hardest thing to do in life is decide when something is worth hanging on to and when to start over.

like the saying goes:

Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.

sorry i just got back

[This message has been edited by A&M Iceman (edited 4/5/2005 1:00a).]

My advice, having not read this thread, is to stop being a ****ing ***** and get over her. You weren't married, you didn't have a kid - you lost nothing but the company of some girl. Unless she's some sort of goddess, who the **** cares. There's another one around the corner.

I'm about 3 months out of a year+ relationship breakup ... so I recently went through it as well.

And you posted this thread - wanting our thoughts/opinions/guidance - and chances are you will not take it, but I feel it is my duty as a fellow guy to throw out the following thoughts.

1.) Don't IM her, don't talk to her on the phone, and avoid contact with her. It's ok to let her know you are doing this, too. You've spent the last ___ months looking after her and your relationship, but if you're not going to be in a relationship anymore - you have to look out for yourself! The best thing you can do for yourself is avoid getting hurt even worse by dragging out a breakup.

If the breakup isn't meant to last - your increased distance will have her running back to you before long. If the breakup is supposed to happen - your increased distance is allowing you to move on sooner. In both cases - it is the right decision - so do this.

2.) you should not be her shoulder to cry on through this breakup. you may have been best friends while y'all were together - but you aren't together anymore - and her girlfriends need to fill that role - not you.

3.) you don't have to go out with new girls to get over her ... however, you do need to occupy your time with things you care about. so maybe you'll spend a lot more time with friends? maybe you'll spend a lot more time with family? maybe you will do volunteer work? church? student organization/A&M club pending your age ...

the point is, you had a passion in your life - and you need to focus that energy on something else.

if you don't find something else to focus on - you will be dragging out the breakup in your head - even if the breakup is already over in real life.

4.) re-read 1-3 and apply it to your life. I think that's all I've got for now.

A&M Iceman,

will you please do me a favor and edit your post to take her screen name off? That was my mistake, and an accident. I would really appreciate if noone would IM her..that would really make things ****ty right now.

and by the way, Iceman, she is an Aggie. She transfered to Tech for nursing after two years at A&M becuase that's what she wants to do. She loves A&M and is certainly an Aggie.

Interesting blog she has going...

quote:

---

I'm friends with lots of my exes

---

You are much better off without this little girl.

But she is so cute.

Did she take her horse to Lubbock?

Eh.

I am talking to a girl now that is 20 (i'm 25). I have had worries that maybe she would be flaky since she is only 20. Are there any 20 year old girls that know what they want? For now, apparently she wants me.

Well I definitely feel for you, who hasn't been there? I got dumped my senior year and while details are blurry to me I can still remember that feeling of loss and depression. But while I wouldn't want to go through that again, once I recognized that I couldn't control his actions and make things happen again, I moved on. I didn't go date a whole bunch of people or get drunk all the time, but I did get a lot more involved in other things and my friendships. Honestly, picking myself up off the floor from that and getting over it was the most empowering thing I have ever done and after that, nothing was going to be more than I could handle. Silly as it may sound, I think it helped me through the tough days in law school and the bar, and also knowing I could get over that when I thought he was the one for me gave me the strength to end another relationship, and to be honest and tell someone I liked about my feelings. Hey, what's the worst that can happen, I get turned down and am single? I can do single.

From what you've said it sounds like this girl may not be mature enough to handle the ups and downs of a real relationship, and you guys may just be in different places. Hard as it is, you may just have to cut the ties that bind and move on down the road. If you've got finals bearing down on you, as best you can just tune her and this out and focus. I had to do much the same last summer for the bar, and it can be done.

I know it sucks right now, but the best thing to do is to accept that this one may have run its course, and once you can live with that, you'll be fine whatever comes.

ellen_ag2001@hotmail.com

There will be other women.

picture, please.

dude , you just got the "i just want to be friends " speech, she's tryin to keep you on a string.trust me, i know these thing.

Best thing you can do is ignore her. women hate that, it makes them feel out of control. and believe me , no woman wants to be out of control. I dated a girl for most of my senior year in high school. treated her like a queen, and she crapped on me.. but i did learn one thing.. the times i ignored her made her want to be with me even more.Women want to keep tabs on their men at all times, but if she cant keep up with you then she'll always wonder what you're up to. Bugs the **** outta them.

i liked the suggestion about the fatgirls though.. they're good slumpbusters, and some are a lot of fun.they try real hard at bein good..i know this too..:-)

life is short, and there are more women out there that appreciate a man that cares about the relationship, just find one that fits you..dont wast any more of your time.. you'll feel better the sooner you shake her..

i know , i know, the poonie is hard to give up but thats just the way it is.. its no big deal unless you aint gettin any.

[This message has been edited by TexAgs staff (edited 4/5/2005 2:49p).]

I think everyone's given good advice so far, but I have one thing to add. Once the initial shock of things goes away, listen to your gut. I didn't when something like this happended to me. As much as you may want to fight it, you need to move on. Don't waste any more of your time on her. If she does this now she'll do it again, but it'll be even harder for you the next time she does. Now every situation is different, but my ex had a "I need a break" moment about 9 months into our relationship, she came back, I forgave her, and things were great after that. A year later, we were looking at rings. Three weeks after I proposed, she pulled the same thing she had before, except this time she gave me back my stuff and I haven't spoken to her since. That was six months ago. Going through that was the hardest thing I've ever had to experience. Now, I realize there was a pattern with her behavior and that the problems that there early on never went away, I just made excuses for her along the way because I was caught up in the intense feelings of the relationship. I guess what I'm trying to say is make sure you think of your own well being first. Listen to that little voice in your head. Don't change who you are to keep the relationship going. Things do happen for a reason, its just hard to see what that reason is sometimes.

CE makes a good point. Certainly there are plenty of examples of couples who broke up once or twice then ended up happy together, but much more often they do not make it. For myself, every relationship I have had that has had a breakup, when we tried again it didn't last. It doesn't mean it is never a good idea to try again, I can say for the last one I am glad that we did, but ultimately it did not work out. Don't close the door on it altogether, but realize that however much she may care about you, she is willing to take the chance of losing you once, it could happen again.

ellen_ag2001@hotmail.com

we've already determined that jamesag96 has absolutely no ability to judge chicks looks

Much of this advice is very appropriate. Speaking as a chick who has done the same thing to men (back in the day)--she is stringing you along. She wants to keep you in her back pocket until she finds someone else and she wants to be the one in control of the situation.

She's 20 and (from what I gather) is in a different city. She has a lot of growing up to do.

[This message has been edited by gymag2003 (edited 5/1/2005 8:34p).]

She is playing you like a fiddle..move on bro

nm. sorry didn't read what forum this was posted in

[This message has been edited by surfisle (edited 7/19/2006 10:08p).]

What the hell are you doing dating chicks who aren't even 21 yet?

They can't even get into the hottest clubs, brah.

You need a cougar. 35, 36, 37 years old.

[This message has been edited by G. Chase McThornton III (edited 7/19/2006 10:25p).]

I'm still wondering why this thread was even dragged up from the depths of hell.

she lives 1/2 way across the country. move on. she's just too young - you're emotionally too far apart.

Dude, your are young. You weren't married, and didn't have children. It's only emotional. Take it from me, divorce is much worse.

And she's stringing you along. Find some other girls to hang out with. Just have fun.

are people giving advice on a thread that's over a year old?

Would like to know how it turned out.

I got so confused while reading this, and why it was brought back after over a year...

Tech ruins everything.

So did he end up nailing a fat chick or killing himself???