I have researched and discussed with her doctors but I thought maybe some of you can give a more personal perspective of what to expect.
Thank you.
Thank you.
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We just put my Mom on Hospice Care. Can I get some info?
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Last: 5 days ago by Larry S Ross
I don't have anything uplifting or helpful to share. My grandmother and grandfather both went into hospice. That was a tough time. I'm sorry and hope your mom can find some comfort.
What expectations are you seeking to manage? Quality of life? What the nurses do? How much it costs / how much insurance covers?
ETA: I'm sorry about your mom. May she be comfortable.
ETA: I'm sorry about your mom. May she be comfortable.
Actually, the hands on care from the nurses. We're not sure what they do. I understand the Medicare process
My Dad and Brother went thru Hospice but they were really too far gone to actually get hands on care.
My Dad and Brother went thru Hospice but they were really too far gone to actually get hands on care.
Just went through this with my mom in May.
It depends on how much time is expected to remain. For the most part, it's just making them comfortable until they pass. They will not do anything which could be considered "life-sustaining." For example, they would offer mom food, and if she ate, she ate. If she didn't, they would not administer IV nutrition or a feeding tube.
It depends on how much time is expected to remain. For the most part, it's just making them comfortable until they pass. They will not do anything which could be considered "life-sustaining." For example, they would offer mom food, and if she ate, she ate. If she didn't, they would not administer IV nutrition or a feeding tube.
Southlake said:
Actually, the hands on care from the nurses. We're not sure what they do.
Most likely three primary things: They will administer comfort drugs (i.e. morphine, lorazepam, etc.), keep her clean (i.e. sponge baths), and make her physically comfortable (i.e. turning her in the bed periodically).
Hospice nurses are angels here on earth.
Their goal is to make the last time on earth as comfortable as possible. And not only are they amazing to the patients, they are wonderful with the family as well. They make adjustments as time goes on.
For example, they started off giving small pills he could swallow. Then they would switch to liquid that would absorb into the cheeks when he could no longer swallow. They would point out "signs" that showed we were nearing end of life. And even when there was hope that he would get better, they gently told us (not in exact words), to not plan for the future.
They answer the phone 24/7. Some will even come by and visit post death. I spent 6 of the last 7 nights at my inlaws when my FIL was dying a little over a month ago. The amount of care and compassion these nurses show is amazing. They would sit and drink coffee with my MIL when they came over. When my FIL passed, the nurse came over and did not leave until the funeral home had come and left. They have a chaplain who has come and prayed with my MIL.
They had another person who would come in and give baths. First in the shower, and then in the bed when it was no longer safe for a shower.
You will no longer call anyone else other than hospice, even if they are actively dying. If you call 911, you are removed from hospice care and you are responsible for the bill.
I don't know how they do it, but they truly are angels and I cannot say enough good things about them.
Their goal is to make the last time on earth as comfortable as possible. And not only are they amazing to the patients, they are wonderful with the family as well. They make adjustments as time goes on.
For example, they started off giving small pills he could swallow. Then they would switch to liquid that would absorb into the cheeks when he could no longer swallow. They would point out "signs" that showed we were nearing end of life. And even when there was hope that he would get better, they gently told us (not in exact words), to not plan for the future.
They answer the phone 24/7. Some will even come by and visit post death. I spent 6 of the last 7 nights at my inlaws when my FIL was dying a little over a month ago. The amount of care and compassion these nurses show is amazing. They would sit and drink coffee with my MIL when they came over. When my FIL passed, the nurse came over and did not leave until the funeral home had come and left. They have a chaplain who has come and prayed with my MIL.
They had another person who would come in and give baths. First in the shower, and then in the bed when it was no longer safe for a shower.
You will no longer call anyone else other than hospice, even if they are actively dying. If you call 911, you are removed from hospice care and you are responsible for the bill.
I don't know how they do it, but they truly are angels and I cannot say enough good things about them.
I agree with everything you posted, they are wonderful people, truly angels on Earth. My experience with hospice was for my uncle and they were just great to my uncle, and truly supported my aunt and cousin.
Do you already have advance directives in place? Medical POA, DNR and all of that stuff?
Piggiybacking to this comment and JMac...agreeing 100%.
Also wanted to add...if you happen to have a hospice nurse who isn't very attentive and seems like she's just there to pass the time...absolutely do not hesitate to call whoever sent her and ask that the nurse in question not return. We had one show up when my sister was in hospice care that would just sit and read a book and if we pointed something out or asked her questions she'd kinda roll her eyes and be dismissive. At one point when I pointed out that my sister had tears in her eyes and sounded like she was in pain (even though she wasnt able to speak) the nurse said "oh..heh. yeah. It happens sometimes" and went on reading her book.
She didn't come back.
Also wanted to add...if you happen to have a hospice nurse who isn't very attentive and seems like she's just there to pass the time...absolutely do not hesitate to call whoever sent her and ask that the nurse in question not return. We had one show up when my sister was in hospice care that would just sit and read a book and if we pointed something out or asked her questions she'd kinda roll her eyes and be dismissive. At one point when I pointed out that my sister had tears in her eyes and sounded like she was in pain (even though she wasnt able to speak) the nurse said "oh..heh. yeah. It happens sometimes" and went on reading her book.
She didn't come back.
100% agree with the above. The majority of hospice nurses are there because they have tremendous compassion for people and families. There are so many nursing fields they have options to go into and this one is the one most emotionally taxing (other than some pediatric specialties). Most choose to go into it for good reasons.
Your best resource for questions about this will be the nurses and staff at the agencies. One of their roles is to help guide patients and families through the process.
Your best resource for questions about this will be the nurses and staff at the agencies. One of their roles is to help guide patients and families through the process.
What they do will also depend on the location of the patient.
If the patient is in a nursing home, the staff there will assist in taking care of them in coordination with the agency (huge variability in quality of nursing homes). Hospice staff will still come to the NH to do full baths and assessments a few times per week. Some hospices have dedicated nursing facilities run by the agencies just for hospice patients.
In-home hospice is different as family/caregivers will be asked to assist with medications (with guidance and education) and other needs but (depending on insurance and finances) there could be an option for full-time or most-time assistants to be in house with the patients to help with things like bathroom needs.
The hospice company I'm familiar with sent staff every other day to help do full baths of my grandmother and the nurses checked in frequently either in person or via phone. My mom gave meds and helped her get changed when she soiled herself. We eventually had her moved to a nursing home when the care needs were too much to handle.
When it was obvious she was actively dying the hospice nurse was there with in 30 minutes and helped us through everything. They called the funeral home and did all of the needed paperwork. Everything along those lines was set up in advance on admission to the hospice team so it was ready to go. The hospice staff will also help set up DNR and MPOA paperwork.
If the patient is in a nursing home, the staff there will assist in taking care of them in coordination with the agency (huge variability in quality of nursing homes). Hospice staff will still come to the NH to do full baths and assessments a few times per week. Some hospices have dedicated nursing facilities run by the agencies just for hospice patients.
In-home hospice is different as family/caregivers will be asked to assist with medications (with guidance and education) and other needs but (depending on insurance and finances) there could be an option for full-time or most-time assistants to be in house with the patients to help with things like bathroom needs.
The hospice company I'm familiar with sent staff every other day to help do full baths of my grandmother and the nurses checked in frequently either in person or via phone. My mom gave meds and helped her get changed when she soiled herself. We eventually had her moved to a nursing home when the care needs were too much to handle.
When it was obvious she was actively dying the hospice nurse was there with in 30 minutes and helped us through everything. They called the funeral home and did all of the needed paperwork. Everything along those lines was set up in advance on admission to the hospice team so it was ready to go. The hospice staff will also help set up DNR and MPOA paperwork.
My Mom was at home on hospice. The worker would come by regularly and always on call. She explained medications( morphine and a super antihistamine for drainage so she wouldn't gag) as I recall left the morphine use up to us on whether and how often. Water as tolerated as well. Recommended no food due to choking possibility. After she passed she came over and confirmed death waited for funeral home vehicle and prayed with the family.
Next she called county and registered the death and I believe ordered death certificates. Then asked for all left over medications and made us witness disposal on the morphine and sign a document affirming. I believe she kept the antihistamines because according to her they were the best.
It's a tough time and I wish your family best but those workers for the most part are great at what they do.
Edit: I should add this was in 2003 so I have no clue what has changed since then.
Next she called county and registered the death and I believe ordered death certificates. Then asked for all left over medications and made us witness disposal on the morphine and sign a document affirming. I believe she kept the antihistamines because according to her they were the best.
It's a tough time and I wish your family best but those workers for the most part are great at what they do.
Edit: I should add this was in 2003 so I have no clue what has changed since then.
Don't want to hijack this thread but wanted to give you a great deal of props for your description. I am a huge advocate for hospice care because I think it is misunderstood. How the nurses deal with death in the caring matter they do day in and day out is beyond my comprehension. My mom was a hospice nurse for many years and towards the end of her career it was visibly taking an emotional toll on her.
Sorry for the slight derail. What you said is 100% accurate, they are angels on earth.
And to the OP, I'm genuinely sorry you are faced with this situation.
Sorry for the slight derail. What you said is 100% accurate, they are angels on earth.
And to the OP, I'm genuinely sorry you are faced with this situation.
Tree Hugger said:
Do you already have advance directives in place? Medical POA, DNR and all of that stuff?
Yes.
Thank you all very much. You gave me exactly what I needed. I feel much more comfortable.
Southlake said:
Thank you all very much. You gave me exactly what I needed. I feel much more comfortable.
Praying for peace and comfort for your mom as well as you and your family.
Hope you find peace.
Sometimes the waiting can be really tough. A lot of hospice organizations have counselors or social workers available for family members to talk to throughout the process.
Make sure you stay in touch with them. Both my mom and dad were in hospice. The nurses were very good at giving us the timeline on when they would pass. I remember her telling me it would be about a month for my father, and he passed 31 days after that conversation.
Larry S Ross said:
My Mom was at home on hospice. The worker would come by regularly and always on call. She explained medications( morphine and a super antihistamine for drainage so she wouldn't gag) as I recall left the morphine use up to us on whether and how often. Water as tolerated as well. Recommended no food due to choking possibility. After she passed she came over and confirmed death waited for funeral home vehicle and prayed with the family.
Next she called county and registered the death and I believe ordered death certificates. Then asked for all left over medications and made us witness disposal on the morphine and sign a document affirming. I believe she kept the antihistamines because according to her they were the best.
It's a tough time and I wish your family best but those workers for the most part are great at what they do.
Edit: I should add this was in 2003 so I have no clue what has changed since then.
Pretty much how it was with Teacher Wife '82.
My mom was in hospice in the hospital. They went above and beyond what normal nurses would do for medication and comfort.
Being in TexAgs jail changes a man……..no, not really
One thing I was not prepared for with dad was having to administer morphine to him. He was at home and we had a morphine pump. Conceptually, it's not that big of a deal - hit it on a schedule, maybe one extra if he shows signs of discomfort, etc. At the end, I kept finding myself having an irrational fear that my administering the morphine was going to hasten his demise or somehow made me responsible when that time came. The nurses did a good job of helping me get over that. My point is there may be things which arise you aren't prepared for or make you feel some kind of way, and you can rely on the hospice staff to help you work through them.
Thankfully, mom was inpatient hospice so I didn't have to do all that again.
Thankfully, mom was inpatient hospice so I didn't have to do all that again.
Agreed. The morphine was difficult. Back in 2003 it was a small bottle and an eye dropper. One little drop on inside of her cheek. We did the same. Only when it looked like she was uncomfortable or in some sort of discomfort. One thing that bothered me was thinking I couldn't stand it if she was dying of thirst instead of disease. The nurse recommended do nothing but that wasn't happening while I was around.
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