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Feel like I'm drowning at work

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cvenag03
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12:17p, 9/9/26
Just graduated and started working in June for a small civil engineering firm (single family land development, bad decision). I interned with them for two summers and thought it was a great place to learn and grow my technical knowledge as I work towards my PE.

Since starting full time I've been miserable. My manager is extremely busy with the business development side of things so it's hit or miss what kind of mood he is in and I'm given very little direction on the tasks I'm given. This results in me asking for help from one of our designers who may or may not give me conflicting instructions that add to the confusion.

I've done 99% of the CAD work for our current project from setting up sheets to lot grading. No one is really checking my work apart from the grading. It's a small firm with limited resources and a ****ty time in the market so I understand those are factors at play but I didn't anticipate it being this unenjoyable.

So I come here to ***** and moan on TexAgs. I want to hunker down and get through this as I know it'll get better as I become more competent, but every day I think about quitting.
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Burdizzo
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In reply to cvenag03 • 12:23p, 9/9/26
AG
There is a term that is often applied to your situation - trying to drink from a fire hose.

Hang in there. It can be a rewarding career if you stick with it
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Tatem
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12:26p, 9/9/26
I think about quitting my job every day.
I thought this was normal?

Also, the first year of any job is hard. Hang in there, it will get easier (or at least that's my experience)
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TecRecAg
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12:37p, 9/9/26
AG
I took a $30k sales job out of college in '12. Small technical recruiting firm. Had no earthly idea what I was doing. Always thought the next day would be my last. After 12-18 months, it just clicked. Still here and do better (both financially and work/life balance) than 99% of my peers.

Fight through the suck.
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toucan82
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12:37p, 9/9/26
Don't worry, AI is going to take most jobs within the next few years
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An L of an Ag
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12:49p, 9/9/26
AG
In b4 the hate-your-job support group gif
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Burdizzo
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In reply to toucan82 • 12:55p, 9/9/26
AG
toucan82 said:
Don't worry, AI is going to take most jobs within the next few years


It certainly will.

That said, it will still take a trained eye to know when that AI product is appropriate and when it is not. A lot of what the OP is doing is project work, and one of the first things you learn is that every project is different. If two projects are identical then they are commodities. Many of the tasks in completing a project are repeatable and applicable to other projects, but every project is still unique. That is where the experience kicks in. AI may help in that regard eventually, but as one guy in my firm pointed out, "AI doesn't put its PE seal on the plans. The Engineer does."
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NoahAg
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1:14p, 9/9/26
Get back to work, OP! Those plans were supposed to be submitted to the county yesterday! Oh, and that section of 50' lots all need to change to 45s. Can you do that this afternoon?
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bagger05
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In reply to cvenag03 • 1:27p, 9/9/26
AG
First step is to either commit or quit. (A) Decide that you're going to stick it out for some period of time (three months, six months, whatever) and then choose not to be miserable. (B) Or just quit.

Living every day on the fence about quitting seems like a pretty big waste of your life.

I'd read Extreme Ownership. There's a section in there about "leading UP the chain of command" and managing a bad boss. Probably some videos and articles out there as well.

If you decide to quit, I'd get really clear about what you expect to be different elsewhere. Everything you're describing exists to some extent in basically every job in every company. Some places are certainly worse than others. But if you bail, get really clear about what didn't work about this and clarify what you'd need to find in a different opportunity.
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Howdy Dammit
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1:35p, 9/9/26
AG
Get out of land development OP. I did it for 5 years out of CVEN and it was hell. Long hours, deadlines, government bureaucracy. Some people are built for it, I was not. I cut my teeth for those 5 years, got my PE and left land development behind. Everyone thinks their job sucks, but I can honestly say that land development is truly a hellish career after having branched out.

And I say this as someone who had a fantastic boss and coworkers there, whom I'm all still friends with.
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TAMUallen
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2:11p, 9/9/26
AG
Always be looking for new jobs. Youre just starting out and unless you see tremendous growth along with coworkers that have been promoted at reasonable rates, there's little reason to stay if you're confident in your own abilities.

Having a resume with lots of jobs isn't a problem anymore, especially if you're the one making the choice.
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cvenag03
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In reply to NoahAg • 2:16p, 9/9/26
Made me lol
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TexAg2001
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In reply to TAMUallen • 2:46p, 9/9/26
AG
I'm a decision maker in hiring at my company (commercial construction). When I'm presented a resume that shows job hopping like you mention, they are almost immediately put to the back of the pile. Unless they have a specific expertise or we are desperately trying to fill a position, those candidates don't often get a chance to explain their job hopping since I rarely invite them in for an interview.

In my line of work, most job hoppers do it because they can't hack it where they are and decide to move on before problems they are creating snowball or they are fired.

To the OP: Hang in there and be patient with yourself. Three months is still very early, so focus on learning, growing, and making the most of every opportunity to gain experience.
If you're not getting a lot of direction, view that as an opportunity rather than a setback. Use the freedom to expand your knowledge, develop new skills, and explore areas that interest you. Take ownership of your development and confidently choose a path forward.
Not every decision will be perfect, and that's okay. Most leaders would rather have someone who takes thoughtful initiative and learns along the way than someone who waits for instructions before every move. Show good judgment, be willing to adapt, and don't be afraid to take action. That's often how the most valuable growth happens.
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normaleagle05
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In reply to TexAg2001 • 3:28p, 9/9/26
AG
You're not wrong but I'll give the other side of this coin as someone closer to OP's specific industry. I give a lot of credit to resumes that have hopped from companies I know to have toxic workplaces and/or shoddy work quality. It shows awareness and conviction to recognize and walk out of the bad situation that is putting food on your plate.

OP, stack some experience but keep looking around. I'd also recommend doing something to educate yourself on the technical details of other parts of the civil engineering business. It's easy to get pigeon holed in LD. Broaden your skill set and find what you want to be doing while getting a paycheck.
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MyNameIsJeff
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3:54p, 9/9/26
AG
Lots of good advice here, but your post reminded me of a job I had a few years ago. Civil construction, completely overloaded, no help from boss. I was one of 4 PMs under a Sr. PM. One PM quit, which resulted in his workload getting split between the remaining three. One of the other PMs and myself both quit on the same day a few weeks later. Biggest relief I ever felt.

Some places just suck to work at.
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TAMUallen
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In reply to TexAg2001 • 4:21p, 9/9/26
AG
TexAg2001 said:
I'm a decision maker in hiring at my company (commercial construction). When I'm presented a resume that shows job hopping like you mention, they are almost immediately put to the back of the pile. Unless they have a specific expertise or we are desperately trying to fill a position, those candidates don't often get a chance to explain their job hopping since I rarely invite them in for an interview.

In my line of work, most job hoppers do it because they can't hack it where they are and decide to move on before problems they are creating snowball or they are fired.

To the OP: Hang in there and be patient with yourself. Three months is still very early, so focus on learning, growing, and making the most of every opportunity to gain experience.
If you're not getting a lot of direction, view that as an opportunity rather than a setback. Use the freedom to expand your knowledge, develop new skills, and explore areas that interest you. Take ownership of your development and confidently choose a path forward.
Not every decision will be perfect, and that's okay. Most leaders would rather have someone who takes thoughtful initiative and learns along the way than someone who waits for instructions before every move. Show good judgment, be willing to adapt, and don't be afraid to take action. That's often how the most valuable growth happens.


If he is confident in his ability then there's no reason to fear you excluding him because you assume he can't hack it.

If he can't hack it then he's being fired, not desiring a better job and better pay himself. It just isn't what you want as a hiring manager
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ErnestEndeavor
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4:40p, 9/9/26
My advice right now is to stick with it as long as you can, it is just a season! You will grow in your career and will likely move on to more enjoyable things and you will be better for it. You are also still in the learning phase of what you are doing. You may end up getting really good at this and it becomes easier and more enjoyable.

And definitely, if you choose to leave your job:
  • Leave on good terms. Do not burn bridges. Do hard, good work until the last minute you work there. You never know when an old boss or colleague could come in huge for you down the line.
  • In this market, I would not leave until you have another job offer in hand.
  • Have a financial plan. Have 4-6 months of expenses in your bank account before you make any decision to leave in case that job offer falls through. The Youtube channel called "The Money Guys" (they are accountant / financial planners based in Tennessee) have a lot of great videos for young people just starting careers. Live on less than you make and start saving for retirement now, do not wait.
You have a long career ahead of you and no, "AI" is not replacing your job anytime soon, if ever.
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Wearer of the Ring
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6:13p, 9/9/26
AG
Lot's of good ideas here. Here's one more.

Flip it around. Put yourself in the owner's spot. Suppose you had hired you? What would you want you to do in this situation? Don't just disappear. Ask the owner for help. "Help" might mean "I need someone to teach me how to ..." Let him know your manager might need help too. Maybe they need some restructuring. Try to respectfully offer positive suggestions. Think up everything you like about the place and be sure to mention those things. In a small group like you're in you have to be careful to frame things in a way that doesn't cast anyone else in a bad light.
I feel so much better since about 11 a.m. CT on 20 Jan. 2025
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MelvinUdall
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In reply to TexAg2001 • 6:40p, 9/9/26
TexAg2001 said:
I'm a decision maker in hiring at my company (commercial construction). When I'm presented a resume that shows job hopping like you mention, they are almost immediately put to the back of the pile. Unless they have a specific expertise or we are desperately trying to fill a position, those candidates don't often get a chance to explain their job hopping since I rarely invite them in for an interview.

In my line of work, most job hoppers do it because they can't hack it where they are and decide to move on before problems they are creating snowball or they are fired.

To the OP: Hang in there and be patient with yourself. Three months is still very early, so focus on learning, growing, and making the most of every opportunity to gain experience.
If you're not getting a lot of direction, view that as an opportunity rather than a setback. Use the freedom to expand your knowledge, develop new skills, and explore areas that interest you. Take ownership of your development and confidently choose a path forward.
Not every decision will be perfect, and that's okay. Most leaders would rather have someone who takes thoughtful initiative and learns along the way than someone who waits for instructions before every move. Show good judgment, be willing to adapt, and don't be afraid to take action. That's often how the most valuable growth happens.


This is excellent advice…at a bare minimum you have to put in a full year, at least, otherwise, most folks doing the hiring will trash the resume…this may be bad advice, but you need to suck it up, understand the environment you're in, and put your head down and give it your full 100% effort. In the long run you'll be better for it.

Good luck!
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Jugstore Cowboy
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In reply to cvenag03 • 12:24a, 9/10/26
AG
Not an engineer, but I would imagine most of us have been through that phase early in our careers where we were surprised to find out that our managers weren't very interested in managing. It's surprising to find out how much responsibility they're putting on you and expecting you to figure out.

Having had a little experience on the other side, it's not that uncommon for higher ups to focus on development and relationships, while people in their 20's and 30's handle most of the project details. It's the same in most professions, and probably the same for most of your counterparts.

But it should be good experience. Later on, you'll find yourself in different conversations with people who present questions they find challenging, able to draw back on experiences you had and able to give examples of how you handled those situations.


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kubiak03
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1:53a, 9/10/26
AG
Welcome to being an EIT in today's market. Frankly, welcome to being an engineer.

Get involved in as many local industry groups as possible to network.
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fc2112
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8:56a, 9/10/26
I am an aerospace engineer in structural analyst. I felt like I was drowning the first five years out of A&M. But I'm getting ready to retire after 40+ years of designing the coolest machines on the planet.

Do the best you can every day and keep learning. When you leave for the day, leave it all there too. It'll get better.
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Duffel Pud
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9:33a, 9/10/26
Jesus, alcohol and/or coke can get you over a hump. Two out of three are not a long term solution, though.
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MyNameIsJeff
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In reply to Duffel Pud • 9:47a, 9/10/26
AG
Duffel Pud said:
Jesus, alcohol and/or coke can get you over a hump. Two out of three are not a long term solution, though.

That took way longer than expected on the general board.
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Tree Hugger
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10:04a, 9/10/26
AG
You are an EIT so you are supposed to be miserable for the first few years, suck it up buttercup.

I used to work with an engineer that was a complete sack of buttholes as a person but he was a fantastic engineer and worked his butt off. If I ever worked on a Saturday he was always in the office. He was truly one of those old dudes that lived to work. Those that knew him outside of the office say he was a great guy but at work I couldn't stand him.

I had mixed feelings when he retired. On one hand I was happy that I wouldn't have to deal with his demeanor anymore, on the other I was a little sad because the company was losing an amazing resource.
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GasAg90
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10:42a, 9/10/26
OP - you should be drinking out of the firehouse for a while as it is a great time for learning. If you are good, you will continue to learn until you retire.

However, the uncertainty of not knowing if you're doing the right thing or not is frustrating and causes all sorts of doubt. Your employer needs you to develop quickly as you become more useful to them. Consider talking to your boss about a little set time each week for you to discuss what you're working on and get guidance on things you have questions. If they are open to this ask them what day and time would work best for them and then send a recurring meeting invite so they see it on their calendar.

Other advice would be that when you get into situations where you aren't happy or something isn't to your liking (not everything will be, even if your the owner) I would give the situation at least four months before 'acting' as I found that things sometimes change on their own.

In the mean time, keep charging on and learn as much as you can. Also, it is called work for a reason, sometimes it's not fun. I remember starting my first job a long time ago and within 6 weeks I was already plotting my retirement plan.

Good luck
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VP at Pierce and Pierce
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3:57p, 9/10/26
Isn't everyone drowning at work? Lots of great advice here. Just keep grinding through and communicate when you need help. "I'm happy to take that on for you but can you help me figure out what to deprioritize so I can execute this?"

It's ok to ask for help and set boundaries.
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TRD-Ferguson
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5:45p, 9/10/26
AG
The art of not being ready and doing it anyway will take you far.
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Aggie_95
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6:17p, 9/10/26
AG
Rule #1, DO NOT quit your job until you have another lined up! Grind it out as long as you can, which might have to happen depending on the job market. Seems tough out there right now.
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deer corn
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3:44a, 9/11/26
I think likely the OPs manager knows they aren't being developed due to lack of resources. You always learn more by having to figure things out and just take the initiative to ask for any training or "shadowing" to help in your role.

Stay at least a year. Even in the worst of jobs, you can learn something. Trial by fire or professional hazing, call it what you will.

You never know who is watching or observing you and determining if you need to be coddled or will figure things out or seek guidance where you need it.

Hang in there. A job is still a job. Don't make any major purchases. Budget and stash away money in savings and ensure you are getting the full match on your 401K. Be aware of the vesting period and what you will lose if you leave.

All things to think about. Worrying about AI is a fruitless exercise. Right now it has been a bad investment for several large companies bc it's not fine tuned. Depending on the industry, might never be.

Work on any certifications or CE credits you can add to resume if this is a thing in your industry. Focus on having the edge in any given candidate pool.
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CE Lounge Lizzard
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In reply to NoahAg • 7:57a, 9/11/26
AG
NoahAg said:
Get back to work, OP! Those plans were supposed to be submitted to the county yesterday! Oh, and that section of 50' lots all need to change to 45s. Can you do this over the weekend?

Horrible flashbacks to EIT phase...& FIFY for accuracy.
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