I think a lot of it is that a lot of media outlets and their algorithms make a lot of money packaging a bunch of headlines and tweets as if they're this all-encompassing overpowering thing that everyone in X group is doing or supports. The extremes of the internet in lots of different areas aren't real life for the most part and a lot of us would be happier, more pleasant people if we remembered that more, me included.
It happens from lots of angles. I get tons of news highlighting the most bat sheet, out there stuff coming from the cultiest of churches, but I don't think most religious people out there agree with it by a long shot. Your average gay, or even trans person, just going about their day to day isn't doing or saying the stuff that has you so upset.