Farting Coworker

2,304 Views | 10 Replies | Last: 29 days ago by wai3gotgoats
Dread Pirate Roberts
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10:43a, 1/22/25
Friend in my office farts occasionally. Usually, its pretty quiet, but yesterday's fart was really loud. I'm not bothered, but I'm looking for funny ways to call him out next time. Any suggestions?
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Mega Lops
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10:53a, 1/22/25
AG
Here are some lighthearted and funny ways you can call your friend out next time they let one rip:

  • Theatrics: Act like you're on a game show and shout, "And the award for loudest office performance goes to..."
  • Weather Report: Pretend to check an invisible earpiece and say, "Breaking news: Unexpected thunder in the office. No rain expected, though."
  • Sound Effects Expert: Casually say, "Wow, you nailed that bass drop. Do it again for the TikTok remix."
  • Official Documentation: Slide a blank piece of paper their way and say, "Sign here to confirm your contribution to today's acoustics."
  • Health Check: Lean in with concern and ask, "Was that your chair? Or should we call HR to add 'tummy wellness' to our health benefits?"
  • Environmentalist: Pull out an invisible clipboard and say, "I'm logging this one for the EPA. That was definitely a violation."
  • Name It: Smile and ask, "So, what are we calling that one? Fartzilla? The Office Symphony?"
  • Call for Assistance: Pretend to grab your phone and say, "Hey IT? Can you check the servers? I just heard a strange noise."
    • Feel free to adjust for humor levels that suit your office vibe!
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    Leeman
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    11:30a, 1/22/25
    Proper rewponse is to blast one back.
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    Tatem
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    12:44p, 1/22/25
    Do you work on an airplane?
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    Teslag
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    12:46p, 1/22/25
    AG
    **** his wife
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    Aggie Dad 26
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    In reply to Teslag • 12:52p, 1/22/25
    Teslag said:
    **** his wife

    Anal?
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    Ryan the Temp
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    1:39p, 1/22/25
    AG
    Get some fart spray and when he rips one, enhance it with the spray. He'll end up at his doctor trying to figure out WTF is wrong with him.
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    Funky Winkerbean
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    1:41p, 1/22/25
    AG
    "Not quite my tempo" , then throw a chair at him.
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    javajaws
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    5:30p, 1/22/25
    AG
    Find the hottest chick in the office and pay her $20 to make sure he hears her whispering to another person about that disgusting guy that is always farting.


    He'll either stop farting or not return to work.
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    Claude!
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    9:57a, 1/24/25
    If it really bothers you, just have a fart to fart conversation with him about how his flatulence is affecting you.

    Alternatively, look him dead in the eye and tell him, "If you were a boxer, your name would be Gaseous Clay."
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    wai3gotgoats
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    11:27a, 1/24/25
    AG
    How about this retort?

    "Your voice has changed, but your breath is still the same !"
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