I have heard of some men changing their last names to their wife's last names. Rare but happens. I have never heard of a man changing his last name to be his wife's ex-husband's last name.

As Blake Lively's sex harassment lawsuit is ongoing, I saw she has a much older step-sister. Same last name of Lively. So then I saw that Blake's mom married Mr Lively and divorced him and then married another guy who changed his last name from Brown to Lively. He is Blake's father.

What kind of man does that??

Link
Ernie Brown to Ernie Lively

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernie_Lively

Quote:

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Ernie Lively (born Ernest Wilson Brown Jr.; January 29, 1947 June 3, 2021) was an American actor and acting coach, and the step-father of actors Lori Lively, Jason Lively, and Robyn Lively and father of actors Eric Lively and Blake Lively. He took his wife's name from her prior marriage to Ronald Lively of Bremen, Georgia, changing his surname from Brown to Lively.

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MouthBQ98 said:

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"Brand recognition".

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His name tag says Brand?

No credit probably.

Screw that. My last name stays with me for life. And, if a divorce happens the woman should go back to her unmarried last name. I did know a guy named John Holmes, when he got married he changed his last name to hers. The former mayor of Los Angeles adapted his last name. He added hers to his and she did as well. Melissa Rauch's husband changed his last name to hers. Cvck much?

Name changing is dumb, doesn't matter who's doing it. Who cares.

infinity ag said:

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I have heard of some men changing their last names to their wife's last names. Rare but happens. I have never heard of a man changing his last name to be his wife's ex-husband's last name.

As Blake Lively's sex harassment lawsuit is ongoing, I saw she has a much older step-sister. Same last name of Lively. So then I saw that Blake's mom married Mr Lively and divorced him and then married another guy who changed his last name from Brown to Lively. He is Blake's father.

What kind of man does that??

Link
Ernie Brown to Ernie Lively

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernie_Lively

Quote:

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Ernie Lively (born Ernest Wilson Brown Jr.; January 29, 1947 June 3, 2021) was an American actor and acting coach, and the step-father of actors Lori Lively, Jason Lively, and Robyn Lively and father of actors Eric Lively and Blake Lively. He took his wife's name from her prior marriage to Ronald Lively of Bremen, Georgia, changing his surname from Brown to Lively.

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Maybe a dude with an awful or embarrassing last name? Or just a beta ****.

Beta male.

Buck Turgidson said:

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infinity ag said:

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I have heard of some men changing their last names to their wife's last names. Rare but happens. I have never heard of a man changing his last name to be his wife's ex-husband's last name.

As Blake Lively's sex harassment lawsuit is ongoing, I saw she has a much older step-sister. Same last name of Lively. So then I saw that Blake's mom married Mr Lively and divorced him and then married another guy who changed his last name from Brown to Lively. He is Blake's father.

What kind of man does that??

Link
Ernie Brown to Ernie Lively

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernie_Lively

Quote:

---

Ernie Lively (born Ernest Wilson Brown Jr.; January 29, 1947 June 3, 2021) was an American actor and acting coach, and the step-father of actors Lori Lively, Jason Lively, and Robyn Lively and father of actors Eric Lively and Blake Lively. He took his wife's name from her prior marriage to Ronald Lively of Bremen, Georgia, changing his surname from Brown to Lively.

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Maybe a dude with an awful or embarrassing last name? Or just a beta ****.

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Bro, what's embarrassing about "Brown" as a last name? That is what he changed from.

One of my relatives married a man who wanted to change his last name to hers. He was from a small town where his father was convicted of something so horrible that he'll never be released.

Known 3 men to have done this. All were former Mormons from Utah who hated their childhood.

I know of one guy who changed his last name to his wife's. I think he didn't want to be reminded of his family's past.

I think this will be the main issue for me and my gf not getting married.

She still has her married name from her ex. I said I would marry her if she changed her name, preferably to mine, but I would be okay if she went back to her maiden name.

What she can't seem to understand is that I have no desire to marry her if she's keeping the name of an entirely different man who frankly pales in comparison to me as a partner or man.

She has kids? They have his name?

713nervy said:

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She has kids? They have his name?

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Yeah, which I totally get that. I can understand how a single mom would want to have the same name as her son. I can see that side of it.

But my side of it…as a man, having your wife share the name of another man (who isn't her father's) feels weird and a little ****y.

Totes. Esp if that dude's a ****bag.

Green2Maroon said:

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I know of one guy who changed his last name to his wife's. I think he didn't want to be reminded of his family's past.

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Why not call himself "Smith" or something. Changing to the wife's last name sends the message of being a beta, to the wife. Women don't like or respect their beta husbands.

AggieArchitect04 said:

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I think this will be the main issue for me and my gf not getting married.

She still has her married name from her ex. I said I would marry her if she changed her name, preferably to mine, but I would be okay if she went back to her maiden name.

What she can't seem to understand is that I have no desire to marry her if she's keeping the name of an entirely different man who frankly pales in comparison to me as a partner or man.

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I am with you on this one, brother.

She should change her last name to your name.
If she really has a problem (unlikely since she changed it once before), then she can go back to her maiden name (daddy's last name).

If she insists on keeping the last name of another dude, then get rid of her. She still longs for him and will wait for a chance to get back with him.

Don't back down. If you do, you will be a despicable beta in her view forever.

The fact that she won't change her name from the ex is the biggest red flag. Just like a guy who pines after the woman that ****ed them over.....women do the same thing for the guy they tried to change but couldn't


My advice- and I do not know your situation...if yall are living together or what.

Big big big red flag.

If she can't make the symbolic commitment of at least letting her ex's name go, (let alone taking ur own if yall get married) you should not make any long term commitments to her.

Also....if this has been a sticking point for awhile, you need to be VERY careful of her telling you she will change her name IF yall get married...... then you get married and chain yourself to her only for her to "forget" to file the paperwork for a few months before reneging on the arrangement entirely.

In the latter situation, the only thing that should get you to the altar is if she changes her name to her maiden name BEFORE you get engaged.

That way you can trust she will be open to changing it to yours after the marriage ceremony.

Or in your case it doesn't seem to be a big point that she take your name....just that she doesn't have her ex's...

Regardless, this is not a woman you will want to make a legally binding long term commitment to unless she demonstrates certain things first.

I never changed my name when I got married because we immediately moved overseas and dealing with the passport/visa issues it would cause seemed like an unnecessary headache. Then we came back and immediately started the adoption process and before I knew it had spent thousands filing court documents and ultimately had an adoption decree with my maiden name.

So my daughter and I have different last names, and let me tell you it is a pain in the ass at everything from the school, to the doctor's office, to the airport, to social functions. So much so that even though we're divorced now, I've often thought about changing it (my ex says he'd be fine with this), but then I think that we've made it this far, so I might as well just stick it out until she's grown.

I would never ask nor expect for a mom to change her last name to something different from her minor children, if for no other reason than I just know how annoying it is to constantly have to explain that I am, in fact, _____'s mom.

713nervy said:

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Name changing is dumb, doesn't matter who's doing it. Who cares.

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I would have refused to get married if she didn't take my name. Absolute ender for me.

Also, hyphenated names are super gay.

Why is it so important to you? Seems intense to end something so meaningful.

Just met someone who has an ex wife and three children, all of which have his name. We aren't dating or anything but the thought of being the new woman in a dynamic like that feels odd.

Not living together but have been dating 5 years now. Neither of us are in a hurry to get married and we're each the person the other has dated the longest since our marriages. She's been divorced a lot longer though - over 10 or 15 years I believe.

She's a quality person with similar values, beliefs, and upbringing as mine and that's most important to me.

We had a talk about it recently. I said if marriage is important to her and if she expects me to symbolize my commitment by spending thousands on a ring I expect her to show the same level of commitment by changing her name. I honestly don't care if she's takes my name. We won't really be raising a family together. Her son starts college fall 2025 and my kids are with me half the time.

Her biggest reason for not wanting to do it is having to change it on so much stuff (DL, passport, all bills, utilities, work stuff). My reply was "yeah, saving for an engagement ring is effort too". She also mentioned that that's how people know her. I said, "yes, that's the point. People know you by your ex-husband's name; not yours, not mine. You're not a celebrity or public figure."

I made it clear that this is a sticking point for me so she knows I won't back down.

Not saying they shouldn't do it, but I get how making the break to where you don't share the same name as your kids anymore could be a difficult jump for some.

Ags4DaWin said:

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The fact that she won't change her name from the ex is the biggest red flag. Just like a guy who pines after the woman that ****ed them over.....women do the same thing for the guy they tried to change but couldn't


My advice- and I do not know your situation...if yall are living together or what.

Big big big red flag.

If she can't make the symbolic commitment of at least letting her ex's name go, (let alone taking ur own if yall get married) you should not make any long term commitments to her.

Also....if this has been a sticking point for awhile, you need to be VERY careful of her telling you she will change her name IF yall get married...... then you get married and chain yourself to her only for her to "forget" to file the paperwork for a few months before reneging on the arrangement entirely.

In the latter situation, the only thing that should get you to the altar is if she changes her name to her maiden name BEFORE you get engaged.

That way you can trust she will be open to changing it to yours after the marriage ceremony.

Or in your case it doesn't seem to be a big point that she take your name....just that she doesn't have her ex's...

Regardless, this is not a woman you will want to make a legally binding long term commitment to unless she demonstrates certain things first.

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Superb post.

Listen to the man.

Danny Vermin said:

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713nervy said:

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Name changing is dumb, doesn't matter who's doing it. Who cares.

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I would have refused to get married if she didn't take my name. Absolute ender for me.

Also, hyphenated names are super gay.

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I agree. It was important for me but my fiance had no issue so it was not a problem at all.
My cousin hyphenated her last name when she got married but now I see her sporting her husband's last name.

aglaohfour said:

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I never changed my name when I got married because we immediately moved overseas and dealing with the passport/visa issues it would cause seemed like an unnecessary headache. Then we came back and immediately started the adoption process and before I knew it had spent thousands filing court documents and ultimately had an adoption decree with my maiden name.

So my daughter and I have different last names, and let me tell you it is a pain in the ass at everything from the school, to the doctor's office, to the airport, to social functions. So much so that even though we're divorced now, I've often thought about changing it (my ex says he'd be fine with this), but then I think that we've made it this far, so I might as well just stick it out until she's grown.

I would never ask nor expect for a mom to change her last name to something different from her minor children, if for no other reason than I just know how annoying it is to constantly have to explain that I am, in fact, _____'s mom.

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Question for the women who would keep their ex'es last name for convenience and refuse to take their new husbands' name or even revert to their maiden name:

say you are in a store and a bad guy comes in shooting...do you expect and want him to lay his body over yours and shield you with his body, or do you want the type of man who is going to hit the deck and leave you vulnerable in a Hail of bullets?

My wife's last name is frankly better. If it wasn't a beta move, yes I would have switched to hers.

But it's not and so my wife is stuck spelling and pronouncing mine to everyone.

Ags4DaWin said:

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The fact that she won't change her name from the ex is the biggest red flag. Just like a guy who pines after the woman that ****ed them over.....women do the same thing for the guy they tried to change but couldn't


My advice- and I do not know your situation...if yall are living together or what.

Big big big red flag.

If she can't make the symbolic commitment of at least letting her ex's name go, (let alone taking ur own if yall get married) you should not make any long term commitments to her.

Also....if this has been a sticking point for awhile, you need to be VERY careful of her telling you she will change her name IF yall get married...... then you get married and chain yourself to her only for her to "forget" to file the paperwork for a few months before reneging on the arrangement entirely.

In the latter situation, the only thing that should get you to the altar is if she changes her name to her maiden name BEFORE you get engaged.

That way you can trust she will be open to changing it to yours after the marriage ceremony.

Or in your case it doesn't seem to be a big point that she take your name....just that she doesn't have her ex's...

Regardless, this is not a woman you will want to make a legally binding long term commitment to unless she demonstrates certain things first.

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Yep. That guy will be sitting in the corner crying while watching his wife bang her ex in no time.