How should I deal with this neighbor?

5,544 Views | 72 Replies | Last: 27 days ago by ABATTBQ11
Ryan the Temp
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8:46a, 10/24/24
AG
One of my neighbors is an older woman who seems like she's angry at the world. Every day she walks her two dogs and uses a scooper to pick up their crap. Once she gets what she must think is a sufficient distance from where they dropped their deuces, she flings the crap either into the ditch or someone's yard instead of depositing it in the trash at home like a civilized person.

Should I collect the turds and put them on her door step?
Falcon punch?
Propane cannon?
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Anchorhold
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In reply to Ryan the Temp • 8:48a, 10/24/24
Ryan the Temp said:

Should I collect the turds and put them on her door step?

In a bag and set it on fire.
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et98
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8:48a, 10/24/24
AG
Have you considered tearing down her fence?
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Tswizsle
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8:52a, 10/24/24
definitely come to the worst on board on Texags for advice
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The Porkchop Express
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8:54a, 10/24/24
AG
have that dude95's angry son sucker punch her. He's already in trouble.
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The Porkchop Express
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In reply to et98 • 8:58a, 10/24/24
AG
a top 10 all-time thread!
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Ginormus Ag
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9:00a, 10/24/24
AG
Have you talked to her about it? Tell her it is common courtesy, socially acceptable and community neighborhood practice to collect the poop and dispose of it properly in a trash can. Maybe give her some bags to collect the dog poop in. Compliment her on how lovely, beautiful and well behaved her pup is. Ask her if you can pet her pup and or give it a treat. Be over the top nice to her. Build up a friendly relationship with her. Speak to her frequently and praise her constantly. Get to know her on a personal level.
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Gigem_94
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9:01a, 10/24/24
AG
Paper bag on doorstep and write on the bag, "I think you misplaced these and I wanted to return them to the rightful owner" or set it on fire - either way.
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C@LAg
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In reply to Tswizsle • 9:02a, 10/24/24
Tswizsle said:
definitely come to the worst on board on Texags for advice
ryan's been here for almost two decades, unlike your recently created troll account.

he knows what he is doing.

And the correct answer to Ryan's question is this, and only this:

24x7, in front of her house:
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hillcountryag86
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9:07a, 10/24/24
AG
Shoot her dogs.

Problem solved.
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rednecked
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9:13a, 10/24/24
AG
save up your poop and throw it in her yard.
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javajaws
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9:15a, 10/24/24
AG
You should go scoop it up and give her a poopslap.

j/k

I would video her antics and post it online where all the neighbors can either shame her or call you a Karen.
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bmks270
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9:21a, 10/24/24
AG
My father in-law would scoop it with a shovel, and take it and drop it on the door step of the owner.
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IIIHorn
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9:23a, 10/24/24
ibtRule#1
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DargelSkout
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9:25a, 10/24/24
AG
Tear her fence down and sleep with her husband.
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Bondag
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In reply to Ryan the Temp • 9:29a, 10/24/24
AG
Have you tried calling 311 to report it?
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aglaohfour
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9:29a, 10/24/24
AG
Keep in mind that I hate confrontation, so this may be more passive than you're wanting. But I'd start with a note on her door, politely letting her know that you've noticed what she's doing and would appreciate if she disposed of the poop properly. Maybe leave some bags for her if you're feeling generous. If that doesn't work, then a face-to-face conversation, followed by internet shaming on Nextdoor or whatever as a last resort.
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Hub `93
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9:31a, 10/24/24
AG
Time for some guitar lessons.

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Bondag
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9:33a, 10/24/24
AG
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Ryan the Temp
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In reply to Ginormus Ag • 9:40a, 10/24/24
AG
Ginormus Ag said:
Have you talked to her about it? Tell her it is common courtesy, socially acceptable and community neighborhood practice to collect the poop and dispose of it properly in a trash can. Maybe give her some bags to collect the dog poop in. Compliment her on how lovely, beautiful and well behaved her pup is. Ask her if you can pet her pup and or give it a treat. Be over the top nice to her. Build up a friendly relationship with her. Speak to her frequently and praise her constantly. Get to know her on a personal level.
Oh, that's a whole other story. She moved in about 8 years after we did and the first time we met her she made it clear she disapproved of our presence in the neighborhood. I also busted her husband snooping around in my backyard.
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jetch17
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In reply to Bondag • 9:44a, 10/24/24
AG
Bondag said:
came to post this.
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Hill08
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In reply to Ryan the Temp • 9:51a, 10/24/24
Ryan the Temp said:
Ginormus Ag said:
Have you talked to her about it? Tell her it is common courtesy, socially acceptable and community neighborhood practice to collect the poop and dispose of it properly in a trash can. Maybe give her some bags to collect the dog poop in. Compliment her on how lovely, beautiful and well behaved her pup is. Ask her if you can pet her pup and or give it a treat. Be over the top nice to her. Build up a friendly relationship with her. Speak to her frequently and praise her constantly. Get to know her on a personal level.
Oh, that's a whole other story. She moved in about 8 years after we did and the first time we met her she made it clear she disapproved of our presence in the neighborhood. I also busted her husband snooping around in my backyard.


Why would she disapprove of your presence?
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Philo B 93
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9:54a, 10/24/24
Ideally, you'd pick up her dog's **** and do this, but really any dog **** will work. Your could even use your own personal ****, but there's some texture diferences that would give that away. Anyway, roll the **** into little balls and sprinkle some powdered sugar on it. Spruce it up with some cherries on the side, put it on a nice paper plate, and offer it to her as a frienldly, neighborly, Halloween treat. Maybe nothing happens, but if she takes just on bite.... priceless.
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Beer Baron
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In reply to Ryan the Temp • 9:56a, 10/24/24
AG
Quote:
I also busted her husband snooping around in my backyard.


This isn't a forum to discuss your gay sex games.
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fc2112
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In reply to Ryan the Temp • 9:59a, 10/24/24
Ryan the Temp said:
Ginormus Ag said:
Have you talked to her about it? Tell her it is common courtesy, socially acceptable and community neighborhood practice to collect the poop and dispose of it properly in a trash can. Maybe give her some bags to collect the dog poop in. Compliment her on how lovely, beautiful and well behaved her pup is. Ask her if you can pet her pup and or give it a treat. Be over the top nice to her. Build up a friendly relationship with her. Speak to her frequently and praise her constantly. Get to know her on a personal level.
Oh, that's a whole other story. She moved in about 8 years after we did and the first time we met her she made it clear she disapproved of our presence in the neighborhood. I also busted her husband snooping around in my backyard.
Well, you're a temp
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Ryan the Temp
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In reply to Hill08 • 10:01a, 10/24/24
AG
Hill08 said:
Ryan the Temp said:
Ginormus Ag said:
Have you talked to her about it? Tell her it is common courtesy, socially acceptable and community neighborhood practice to collect the poop and dispose of it properly in a trash can. Maybe give her some bags to collect the dog poop in. Compliment her on how lovely, beautiful and well behaved her pup is. Ask her if you can pet her pup and or give it a treat. Be over the top nice to her. Build up a friendly relationship with her. Speak to her frequently and praise her constantly. Get to know her on a personal level.
Oh, that's a whole other story. She moved in about 8 years after we did and the first time we met her she made it clear she disapproved of our presence in the neighborhood. I also busted her husband snooping around in my backyard.


Why would she disapprove of your presence?
Because she said, "Ugh, gays. I must be the only conservative left in the world."
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cr0wbar
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In reply to Ryan the Temp • 10:09a, 10/24/24
AG
Yea - all bets are off. Go behind, collect the feces and redump into their yard / porch
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Ragnar Danneskjoldd
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10:09a, 10/24/24
AG
If you pick up the poop you lose
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Milwaukees Best Light
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10:16a, 10/24/24
AG
There has to be a way for you to finally use all that wolf urine you have.
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Duckhook
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 10:20a, 10/24/24
AG
The Porkchop Express said:
have that dude95's angry son sucker punch her. He's already in trouble.

Thank you! I was wondering how soon that classic, now-deleted thread would be referenced.
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Ryan the Temp
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In reply to Milwaukees Best Light • 10:22a, 10/24/24
AG
Milwaukees Best Light said:
There has to be a way for you to finally use all that wolf urine you have.
That's a blast from the past. That was the guy who was going to try to get me fired and ended up calling me instead of my boss.



Maybe I could make casual mention of her raising a murderer for a son, or is that too insensitive?
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maroon barchetta
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In reply to Duckhook • 10:24a, 10/24/24
Duckhook said:
The Porkchop Express said:
have that dude95's angry son sucker punch her. He's already in trouble.

Thank you! I was wondering how soon that classic, now-deleted thread would be referenced.


It's deleted?
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maroon barchetta
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In reply to Ryan the Temp • 10:25a, 10/24/24
Ryan the Temp said:
Milwaukees Best Light said:
There has to be a way for you to finally use all that wolf urine you have.
That's a blast from the past. That was the guy who was going to try to get me fired and ended up calling me instead of my boss.



Maybe I could make casual mention of her raising a murderer for a son, or is that too insensitive?
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TX AG 88
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10:30a, 10/24/24
lotsofhp
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In reply to et98 • 10:31a, 10/24/24
AG
et98 said:
Have you considered tearing down her fence?


Does this thread still exist? I'd love to read it
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