Not counting your own? Did you give a speech? How was it?

I would estimate I've participated in somewhere around 2,000 funerals.

Any speeches?

I can recall 8 off the top of my head which tells me I'm missing 1-2. Have planned 4. Gave the eulogy at my dad's.

I cannot believe how expensive funerals are. What a freaking racket!

100+ Doing final military honors

BaitShack said:

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100+ Doing final military honors

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At the time I got off active duty I held the AIA record for doing the most funeral details in a single day at 11, all at Fort Sam.

I've lost count. I've spoken at 2

maroon barchetta said:

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Any speeches?

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A handful of eulogy-type things.

Does, "On behalf of the President of the United States and a grateful Nation ..." count?

I just went to my father in laws funeral two weeks ago. Not fun. And he was also a Marine so buried in the National Cemetery and had honor guard. Taps and folding of the flag was an extremely moving thing.

I've given a eulogy at two, both for grandparents.

I agree with Nervy that the funeral industry is a racket. It's shocking how expensive it is, and for what?

A close relative passed away at the age of 22 back in February and the whole funeral situation was torture for all of us, but especially for his parents. Four hours of visitation the night before the funeral, a big meal served at the church for the family the next morning (which required us all to be "on" and have the same conversation twenty times with all the church ladies who were no doubt well-intentioned, but it was just a lot), a two-hour-long service followed by greeting every single attendee at the end (and taking on the weight of everyone else's grief as people clung to us and cried their eyes out), then a 30-minute drive to the cemetery with another 30-minute graveside service followed by over an hour of accepting everyone's condolences (again) and saying goodbye to people we only see at weddings and funerals.

By the end of it all, every one of us was in a daze and the deceased's parents were basically having to be physically held upright. And I won't even mention how when we were eating dinner that night, the funeral home showed up with four vans full of over a hundred plants and flower arrangements. I know that everyone involved meant well and was just doing what they thought was best to show their love and support, but it was just too much. And it cost a small fortune.

It motivated me to get my affairs in order and to make sure my family knows that doing all that is not necessary to demonstrate that they love me. Donate my organs, and do whatever is simplest with what's left over. Get together for one nice meal share memories of me, and call it a day.

Too ****ing many. Too many before I was even 25.

I cannot tell you home many times I've blown Taps at the National Cemetery in Dallas. Over a hundred.

Bringing all the flowers and plants home is a chore. It's good that the funeral home brought them.

It's always so much harder (in my experience) when a child or young adult dies. The loss of them not getting to live out a long life. It's devastating.

My step-brother had a son that died at 18 months. It was just awful.

Neighbor of mine died at maybe 25? Had gotten divorced, she and her young daughter had moved back in with her parents while she got ready for the next phase of her life. The daughter got up one morning, and her young mom did not. Some sort of unknown heart issue.

That funeral was crushing.

Everyone means well but it's hard to hear "I'm sorry" so many times.

And it's hard to see Facebook posts about "another Angel got their wings" or "God called them home".

Too many, including my mom, who was 41, my brother who was 37, one of my best friends at A&M, who was 26, and 2 of my students, one 12 and the other 14.

In high school, I got asked to be a pall bearer for a kid I didn't know. He was a local Cub Scout who died in a freak accident when his group was hit by a huge thunderstorm at a campout and a tree fell on some of their tents. The family knew one of my troop leaders and asked for Boy Scouts as pall bearers. Even though I didn't know him, that was tough seeing his friends and family and listening to the eulogies.

I had a really good friend who was 12-13 and passed away from an aneurysm. I was a freshman in HS and he was a grade below me, but we were in scouts together and had known each other a long time. He went to bed with a headache one night and just never woke up. There were a couple hundred people at his funeral because he was really well liked in everything he did, and God that was hard.

Cremate me and have a party when I die.

My maternal grandfather died in late November 1963, a couple of days after Kennedy was assassinated. My paternal grandfather died about 30 days later, two days after Christmas. To this day, the fragrance of carnations brings me back to both of their wakes. Telling a 6 1/2 year old kid he needed to go up to those caskets, knell down and pray was a memory I'll never forget. Candidly, I wasn't emotionally prepared to view corpses at such an early age.

When my wife and I bought our first house in 1983, the next door neighbor's kid died in his sleep at the age of 7. That was a very difficult funeral.

I've given five eulogies: my oldest sister (who died from cancer at 54), my youngest sister (who died of an abdominal aneurism at 40), my dad (89), my mom (86), and an older brother (72). My dad was a WWII pilot so he had full military honors at the cemetery: flagged draped casket, a three volley salute, and taps...all in a pouring rain.

Only 3. Two grandparents and one friend who was tragically killed in a car accident while in high school.

Not sure how many total funerals but spoke at 2 of them. One was my wife's grandma or and the other was my dads this past December. Both times had things written out and rehearsed so there would be no emotional breakdown and worked out fine.

Also regarding the cost of funerals….my dads was way cheap and went perfectly. Granted, he wanted to be cremated and the total cost at the funeral home for the preparation and cremation was somewhere in the ballpark of 1,000….so we did a memorial service at our church which is River Pointe Church in Richmond….total cost was around $400 for the service and it was beautiful….

Look around there are great places that don't do it for the money….

Hardest one was for my dad four years ago.

Pallbearer for my maternal grandmother and my best friend's dad.

Attended many others including the other three grandparents, great aunts/uncles, cousins, and some friends.

713nervy said:

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I cannot believe how expensive funerals are. What a freaking racket!

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I was in the business for more than five years, so I have a better appreciation for why some of the costs are what they are. It's really expensive to operate a funeral home, but that doesn't account for all of the costs or variations in costs for the same services and products.

That being said, yeah, it's expensive, and when my birth father died, I hadn't seen him in more than 20 years and the coroner's office tracked me down and told me I needed to come claim his body and handle its disposition. Talk about a really big unexpected expenditure ...

In my 20's back in the early 90's, I was an assistant traveling DJ in north NJ. We did parties of all sizes and types but one party was a saturday evening event in a hall with about 150 people. As we were setting up they roll in a casket and open it and as many caskets have, there is a body inside. Huh?

Then we ask for the final 50% of the payment before it starts and they refuse. We start packing up. They got angry as heck but then finally handed the cash over.

Turned out to be a gypsy funeral where they drank, danced, drank, celebrated, and drank in front of the casket to celebrate the life. As they got drunker the men (mostly) were sweating, getting aggressive slam dancing, and screaming at us to play certain songs. It was a four hour circus.

Then at the end they demanded we stay and play longer. We did another hour for about the equal amount of money as the whole original fee. They were too drunk to realize the money being handed over.

Ryan the Temp said:

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maroon barchetta said:

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Any speeches?

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A handful of eulogy-type things.

Does, "On behalf of the President of the United States and a grateful Nation ..." count?

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Only been involved in a couple myself. Wrote my mom's eulogy and was an absolute wreck leading up to it, especially when we knew for a few months that the end was coming.

I found out when I was in my 20s that during Vietnam my dad was a CACO in the Navy and at that time he had to both deliver the news to next of kin and be or put together the honor guard for sailors here. I cannot possibly imagine how hard that job is. He told me later that they were so busy at some points that they would get CACOs from other branches because they were spread so thin. I wondered why my dad was always good at not getting upset or showing emotion when I was growing up. He told me once that the worst thing he could do was to be emotional while handing a folded flag to someone or while telling them the worst news they had ever gotten. Definitely put things into perspective.

When someone dies, I don't like the big show it's become. Just bury, cremate, whatever. Only the family really cares and misses. Everyone else it is a spectacle.

Pinochet said:

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Ryan the Temp said:

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maroon barchetta said:

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Any speeches?

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A handful of eulogy-type things.

Does, "On behalf of the President of the United States and a grateful Nation ..." count?

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Only been involved in a couple myself. Wrote my mom's eulogy and was an absolute wreck leading up to it, especially when we knew for a few months that the end was coming.

I found out when I was in my 20s that during Vietnam my dad was a CACO in the Navy and at that time he had to both deliver the news to next of kin and be or put together the honor guard for sailors here. I cannot possibly imagine how hard that job is. He told me later that they were so busy at some points that they would get CACOs from other branches because they were spread so thin. I wondered why my dad was always good at not getting upset or showing emotion when I was growing up. He told me once that the worst thing he could do was to be emotional while handing a folded flag to someone or while telling them the worst news they had ever gotten. Definitely put things into perspective.

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If you haven't seen it, watch the film "Taking Chance." It's a wonderful film about escort duty. I've been an escort before.

Many. Probably about 20+. Mostly relatives but a couple of very close friends. Dad died when he was 56 in a tragic, graphic car accident. I made all the arrangements and nursed my mom (who was injured in the same accident) because my older brother "zoned out." Mom died in 2013 … on Mother's Day. She had everything in order, and that made everything easier for me. She would have kicked my ass if I had grieved too long. She always said, "Life is for living, so get on with it." So that's what I've done. You would've liked her a lot. She was sassy, like many of you.

Weak troll. Voted down.