What is alot of work travel?

5,475 Views | 55 Replies | Last: 6 mo ago by MouthBQ98
ac04
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In reply to Howdy Dammit • 7:46a, 4/27/24
Howdy Dammit said:
ac04 said:
this is the 17th week of 2024 and you've traveled in 10 of those? that definitely qualifies as a lot, that's almost 60%

i was consulting/traveling for work when my kids were very young and it was extremely difficult. i was traveling maybe 35-40% of weeks and it was very hard on my wife who also works full time. but we had bills to pay and i was making great money.

i made it until the kids were 4 and 2 before we just couldn't do it anymore. my wife was very supportive but i missed her and the kids terribly on the road and i could tell it was starting to wear on them. very glad i got out when i did because a few of the guys i know who were in the same situation and continued traveling wound up divorced and miserable.

if your wife is telling you she is frustrated you should take that very seriously. do not mess up your life over some stupid ass job that means nothing in the big picture.

Yes I've traveled 10 of those. But like I said, the actual nights away have ranged from 1-4. So I definitely haven't been gone 10 weeks straight. Also, when I'm home I work from home, so I am very present. I feel like it isn't as bad as it sounds due to those two factors.


that's great, but i'm not the person you need to convince.
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ThunderCougarFalconBird
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8:09a, 4/27/24
AG
Like many others have said, it varies by situation. Like a poster above mentioned, an airline pilot with decent seniority may be gone a lot but will also be home and present a lot more frequently.

Another person that might travel once per month may really just not be very present because of the demands of the work during and after hours.
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riverrataggie
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8:56a, 4/27/24
AG
I've done 40 something weeks out of the year for 4 days a week thing and then on other side Japan for two weeks there home 3 weeks for about 2 years.

Now it's just for important meetings. I'm on about 6-8 flights a month now but some days I can do day trips, but they are long days.

The above was before kids. Now with kids I'd rather be home. I have more flights than hotel nights.
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maroon barchetta
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In reply to riverrataggie • 8:59a, 4/27/24
Your workplace should learn about Zoom.
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riverrataggie
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In reply to maroon barchetta • 9:38a, 4/27/24
AG
Something's can't be done with zoom. Trust me, we tried.
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maroon barchetta
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In reply to riverrataggie • 10:49a, 4/27/24
It was a joke.
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GarlandAg2012
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10:52a, 4/27/24
AG
Imagine being proud your wife doesn't mind not being around you 6 months of the year.
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Sea Speed
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In reply to GarlandAg2012 • 11:40a, 4/27/24
AG
GarlandAg2012 said:
Imagine being proud your wife doesn't mind not being around you 6 months of the year.


Thats certainly one way to look at it. Nothing compared to the old days though when men were gone for years at a time. I always thought this poem called the Nantuckets Girls Song was hilarious. It was written in the 1850s.

I have made up my mind now to be a Sailor's wife,
To have a purse full of money and a very easy life,
For a clever sailor husband is so seldom at his home,
That his wife can spend the dollars with a will that's all her own,
Then I'll haste to wed a sailor, and send him off to sea,
For a life of independence is the pleasant life for me,
But every now and then I shall like to see his face,
For it always seemes to me to beam with manly grace,
With his brow so nobly open, and his dark and kindly eye,
Oh my heart beats fondly towards him whenever he is nigh,
But when he says Goodbye my love, I'm off across the sea
First I cry for his departure, then laugh because I'm free,
Yet I'll welcome him most gladly, whenever he returnes
And share with him so cheerfully all the money that he earns
For he's a loving Husband, though he leads a roving life
And well I know how good it is to be a Sailor's Wife.
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CharlieBrown17
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11:42a, 4/27/24
AG
It's slowed down for me now, but my high was 2 years ago.

250 days away. Been closer to 2 weeks gone 3 weeks home this year
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riverrataggie
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In reply to maroon barchetta • 11:43a, 4/27/24
AG
You'd be surprised. Funny thing is I know an exec who works for Cisco webex, not even a sales guy…. But he's gone all the time. Just find it funny.
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Sea Speed
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11:44a, 4/27/24
AG
But yall are absolutely correct in that I should not have mocked other peoples wives like that and I do humbly apologize to those people whose lives I was making light of. That was not a kind thing to do. My sincerest apologies.
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Sea Speed
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12:17p, 4/27/24
AG
Wow. I really must have struck a nerve.
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falconace
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12:39p, 4/27/24
I've traveled a lot over the course of my career. When I was single it was fun jet setting all over the place with other young coworkers. When my wife and I were dating we loved the travel benefits and free trips.

When we had kids my travel went down to about once a month on average but my wife could handle the kids and everything with me gone. There were times I'd leave for the office and mid way through the day call her and ask if she could pack me up and meet me at the airport since I now had to go on a last minute trip.

In 2019 travel picked up and by August I had been gone over 100 nights. While she said she was fine with it and knew I was ambitious when we met I decided I didn't like being gone that much. I had a 5 year old and 3 year old and didn't want to regret missing out. I left my job and since then have only flown for work once for a two night trip. Have traveled to nearby towns via car 3-4 times for 1-3 nights as well. It is glorious to be home so much more now.
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MonkeyKnifeFighter
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In reply to Howdy Dammit • 1:33p, 4/27/24
Howdy Dammit said:
My wife thinks I travel a ton, whereas I talk to some folks who make me thankful for what "little" I'm gone. Just curious.

Howdy dammit said:
And yes, a one year old and a 5 month pregnant SAHM wife. So to her, it's a ton. lol

FYI, this is one of those "signaling" things where, by asking you a question about it, she is actually telling you what she thinks/needs.

She's not interested in hearing affirmation of her experience or input from TexAgs posters who travel way more and are doing fine. She's passively communicating her needs without doing the ultimatum thing, and studying your reactions and deliberate actions afterward. If nothing changes, she may repress re-stating her position about this and about other accumulating issues. That builds up.

Every conversation about travel volume after the "she thinks I travel a ton" conversation, no matter how innocuous-seeming, is potentially an accelerant. Men can have conversations about their problems, reach zero resolution about them, and consider the topic concluded. That's a pressure relief action. Women, again generally, don't do that.

Again, this doesn't apply to every woman or situation. I'm sure this is different, blah blah blah. But be aware. This is direct signaling.
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AggieArchitect04
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1:47p, 4/27/24
AG
I travel here and there but not much by my definition. I probably wouldn't mind a little more but I go to NOLA a couple times a quarter.

I don't have a wife, but always make sure I don't miss my time with my kids.

I wouldn't feel married if I was gone from my spouse 6+ months out of the year. And I would definitely think it's weird/suspicious if she didn't care.
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ac04
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9:02p, 4/27/24
you would have to 5x my salary at least to even get me to consider spending 6 months away from my wife and kids.
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AgsMyDude
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In reply to ac04 • 7:06a, 4/28/24
AG
ac04 said:
you would have to 5x my salary at least to even get me to consider spending 6 months away from my wife and kids.


Someone said 46 weeks earlier in this thread too.

Even single that would suck unless it's a highly desirable location. Imagine traveling to Lincoln or Ames for 46 weeks a year.
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agracer
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In reply to ac04 • 1:24p, 4/29/24
AG
ac04 said:
if your wife is telling you she is frustrated you should take that very seriously. do not mess up your life over some stupid ass job that means nothing in the big picture.
His real concern would be if she stops telling him she's frustrated
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LewisChilds
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3:25p, 4/29/24
AG
I used to be gone for 6-9 months at time. I probably average being gone a total of 3 months in a year now. Sometimes it's just a week here and there or sometimes it's a month at a time. I'm on day 50 of what was supposed to be a two-week trip.
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62strat
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In reply to Howdy Dammit • 2:18p, 5/2/24
AG
Howdy Dammit said:
HowdyAgs03 said:
Sounds like you may be averaging a trip a little more than once every other week. Do you have young kids at home?

That's probably accurate. And yes, a one year old and a 5 month pregnant SAHM wife. So to her, it's a ton. lol
I used to travel for work, maybe once a month for a few nights, but about 2 months before our first kid was born, I told my boss I didn't want to travel anymore, because I wouldn't do that to my working wife.

Now the kids are older, and maybe once a year I end up going on a fun work trip. (no work involved.. just vegas or fishing or whatever)


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MouthBQ98
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9:34p, 5/3/24
AG
I think the military lifers have this one…

I worked offshore O&G awhile and was 28on28 off for most of a year once, plus travel time was on my 28. Worst single trip was going to Singapore a month, then directly to west Africa A month.

Longest single trip was off the coast of NW Australia which involved 3 flights totaling 30 hours in the air with 2 short layovers and then a 1.5 hour helicopter flight, and right into my first shift safety meeting and a 12 hour shift.
Houston to Moscow to Singapore to Perth to Barrow Island, WA, to the rig offshore.
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