Cringiest wedding things you've seen

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maroon barchetta
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In reply to Claude! • 12:49p, 4/3/24
Claude! said:
one MEEN Ag said:
Got a best man speech coming up this year. The options are:

A) Realize you are a comedic genius and can thread the needle between making everyone laugh without making fun of anyone, especially the bride/groom and parents.

B) Realize you aren't a comedic genius, get up there and say thank you all for coming, congratulate the couple, tell the bride she looks beautiful, thank the parents for putting together this day, then sit down and shut up.

I'm gonna shoot for A, my wife is gonna ask me to do B.
I strongly suggest the underlooked Option C: stand up, look the flower girl dead in the eye, and recite the middle third of Samuel Taylor Coleridge's Rime of the Ancient Mariner in a deadpan. Then set the mic down gently and walk out of the door and into the night. Cut off all future contact with everyone in the wedding party.


Just play the song and walk out.

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Claude!
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In reply to maroon barchetta • 1:28p, 4/3/24
maroon barchetta said:
Claude! said:
one MEEN Ag said:
Got a best man speech coming up this year. The options are:

A) Realize you are a comedic genius and can thread the needle between making everyone laugh without making fun of anyone, especially the bride/groom and parents.

B) Realize you aren't a comedic genius, get up there and say thank you all for coming, congratulate the couple, tell the bride she looks beautiful, thank the parents for putting together this day, then sit down and shut up.

I'm gonna shoot for A, my wife is gonna ask me to do B.
I strongly suggest the underlooked Option C: stand up, look the flower girl dead in the eye, and recite the middle third of Samuel Taylor Coleridge's Rime of the Ancient Mariner in a deadpan. Then set the mic down gently and walk out of the door and into the night. Cut off all future contact with everyone in the wedding party.


Just play the song and walk out.

I'm seeing them in November. Alas, doesn't sound like we'll get Rime or my personal favorite Maiden tune Paschendale. Still a pretty good setlist.
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Animal Eight 84
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11:00p, 4/5/24
AG
Helped drive my best friend to his wedding in Georgia, he married a sharecropper's daughter.

Bride's momma got up at 0500 for 30 years and made biscuits and gravy from scratch 7 days a week, that made an impression on me. She was a kind soul. She cooked the meal on the wedding day for the family including biscuits and gravy at daybreak.

Country church Preacher told us dozens of racist jokes while waiting to start the ceremony. He laughed loudly after each one.

Groom's mom wore a white dress fancier than the bride's simple wedding dress.

Grooms VW bug wouldn't start after the wedding because bride's sisters were pranking the car and accidentally ran the battery down. Car was packed solid with everything the bride owned and had to be put on the church parking lot to get at the battery under the rear seat.
Of course everyone was watching them try to leave.


At my sister's wedding reception my jerk cousin Buster got in a fistfight with my buddy Jim during the reception.
Jim tears a hole in his new pants, his country mom is barely keeping her cool. Jim says " but momma, it's only a little rip". She loses it and whips the crap out of Jim in front of 200 guests.
Wedding was lame this was the most exciting thing that happened all day.
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agracer
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In reply to Ginormus Ag • 10:30a, 4/8/24
AG
Ginormus Ag said:
They had their own private dinner in another building for 3 hours. We were supposed to be served food and drinks at the same time, but the caterer didn't get that instruction, was the excuse.
Even if the caterer did get the instructions, that's just tackey.

No there but my wife attended the wedding of her old roommate and everything was Aggie themed. Cake, flowers, brides maid dresses, everything was maroon and white. When they left the alter at the end of the ceremony, they played the Aggie War Hymn.

They divorced 2-years later. She was crazy high maintenance but also over weight and unattractive. He was a dorm RA and a complete jackass to everyone when they checked out. As in, "you didn't dust the blinds so I'll be back later to check you out" (then find something else the next time) type of jackass.
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agracer
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In reply to Ags4DaWin • 11:06a, 4/8/24
AG
Ags4DaWin said:
Super Awkward....not really cringey.

Day of the wedding walked in on my wife and her mother talking.

Her mother was giving her a big speech about how regardless of the cost of the wedding she would support my wife (then fiance) backing out anytime she wanted and that leaving me at the altar was okay and that getting married young was often a mistake and that good sex didn't always necessarily mean love. I was 23. Fiance was 21.

I listened to this speech for about 5 minutes while my wife's face went ghost white. She tried to give her mother the "stop talking sign" multiple times while I stood there listening but her mother just kept talking even when my wife tried to interrupt her.

As she was wrapping up her speech, I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a big hug and told her that I appreciated how much she loved her daughter and wanted to take care of her and that I would try to do the same.

The woman literally ran from the room and refused to make eye contact with me the rest of the day.

Still married.

And that's pretty much been my MIL and my relationship ever since.

Her thinking the worst and me trying to take her bad behavior in good humor.
wait, am I actually you and post under two user names?
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Cowman1
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In reply to Beer Baron • 1:06p, 4/8/24
Beer Baron said:
Saw Facebook pics of a skank from high school's Wild West themed wedding. She and all the bride's maids had full on saloon hoar garb.



That's awesome!
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abileneag09
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In reply to agracer • 2:13p, 4/8/24
AG
agracer said:
Ags4DaWin said:
Super Awkward....not really cringey.

Day of the wedding walked in on my wife and her mother talking.

Her mother was giving her a big speech about how regardless of the cost of the wedding she would support my wife (then fiance) backing out anytime she wanted and that leaving me at the altar was okay and that getting married young was often a mistake and that good sex didn't always necessarily mean love. I was 23. Fiance was 21.

I listened to this speech for about 5 minutes while my wife's face went ghost white. She tried to give her mother the "stop talking sign" multiple times while I stood there listening but her mother just kept talking even when my wife tried to interrupt her.

As she was wrapping up her speech, I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a big hug and told her that I appreciated how much she loved her daughter and wanted to take care of her and that I would try to do the same.

The woman literally ran from the room and refused to make eye contact with me the rest of the day.

Still married.

And that's pretty much been my MIL and my relationship ever since.

Her thinking the worst and me trying to take her bad behavior in good humor.
wait, am I actually you and post under two user names?
My best friend had a wedding experience similar to that. The MIL was aggressively against them having a "dollar dance" at the reception. My buddy has always been the type that would do something just because you told him not to, so this made it a sure thing that the dollar dance would happen. MIL flipped off the groom quite obviously as it was going on.

They still have a rocky relationship but evidently she's turned into a good grandma for their kids.
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swimmerbabe11
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9:19a, 4/14/24
in the last wedding I was in, the brides mom told her it was too late to turn back now and in unison all of the bridesmaids said "no its not" and one even said she had car keys.

There are several professional photos that catch facial expressions of mine....I thought my poker face was better..or at least I had it on more often.
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maroon barchetta
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In reply to swimmerbabe11 • 10:14a, 4/14/24
Wow. What's the issue with the groom?
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Tanya 93
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11:12a, 4/14/24
They had 3 breaks during the ceremony fpr songs to be performed

A Whole New World
The Rose
Wind Beneath My Wings
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swimmerbabe11
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In reply to maroon barchetta • 11:16a, 4/14/24
the photographer put this in the album.
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maroon barchetta
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In reply to swimmerbabe11 • 11:31a, 4/14/24
The groom probably thinks it's a reaction to the weather or something.
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maroon barchetta
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In reply to Tanya 93 • 11:34a, 4/14/24
Tanya 93 said:
They had 3 breaks during the ceremony fpr songs to be performed

A Whole New World
The Rose
Wind Beneath My Wings


I sang a duet of A Whole New World in a wedding where there was also a fire when one of the tall candle stands (it held eight candles in a semi-circle) had been decorated with pine branches or cedar or something. Thankfully it went out pretty quickly on its own.

My cousin's first wedding featured a recording of him singing The Rose. He had recorded it in that little recording studio at Astroworld.

Haven't heard Wind Beneath My Wings at a wedding.
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Tobias Funke
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2:29p, 4/14/24
AG
I'm getting married in less than 2 weeks and I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread.

My worst two:

1) A younger friend of my mom's got married when I was in high school and for some reason I was invited. Bride and groom were in their 30s and a potent combination of very social awkward and very religious. Neither had ever kissed a member of the opposite sex in their entire lives.
I'll never forget how awkward and clumsy the first kiss was after they were pronounced man and wife.

2) Just a couple months ago, my fiance's cousin got married to a Midwest redneck. Every single toast and speech revolved around how much he loved Coors Light and his dog; nice guy but just an alky simpleton.

Reception is held at an event center (that had been converted from an old bank) with public restrooms near the main entrance. Within the first hour of the reception, I walked into the bathroom and saw the groom drunk as a skunk barfing into one of the urinals. I just turned around and walked out and forgot about it.

Half an hour later there was sewer water flowing through the kitchen and into the reception hall. The staff were pulling linens off the tables onto the ground to try to soak it up as they turned the water off. Suddenly both restrooms are closed and the only working bathroom in the whole building is a one-seater inside the bridal chamber. Probably 150 people at this wedding, so you can imagine how that went. The line was about 40 deep the rest of the night, and men and women were pissing in the parking lot or going across the street to pee at Taco Bell. Everything stunk. Just a total disaster.
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Z3phyr
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In reply to maroon barchetta • 5:44p, 4/14/24
maroon barchetta said:
There are others. I'll stop for now.


You need smarter friends
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maroon barchetta
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In reply to Z3phyr • 7:27p, 4/14/24
Z3phyr said:
maroon barchetta said:
There are others. I'll stop for now.


You need smarter friends


Some of them are relatives.
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swimmerbabe11
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In reply to maroon barchetta • 8:47p, 4/14/24
there are two other pics just like this but the other bridesmaids are making similar faces to mine. it's so bad.
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maroon barchetta
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In reply to swimmerbabe11 • 10:43p, 4/14/24
swimmerbabe11 said:
there are two other pics just like this but the other bridesmaids are making similar faces to mine. it's so bad.


What's wrong with the groom?
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HarleySpoon
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6:55a, 4/15/24
AG
Fairly large wedding….300 in attendance. Couples both very involved in their local church congregation and meet within young folks church group led my minister officiating their wedding. Thus, minister was chosen because of his relationship with the couple. At the end of the ceremony, minister announces: "I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Robert Jones."

Robert is not the first name of the groom and Jones is not the last name of the groom or bride. After a few seconds of awkward silence, the music begins, the crowd claps and the bride and groom exit. The minister then awkwardly apologizes to the crowd. I still cringe thinking of the awkwardness that day.
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BeenSent
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In reply to C@LAg • 9:16a, 4/15/24
AG
C@LAg said:
not "cringy". but dumb. my brother made all his groomsmen (incl me) wear full Scottish kilts/garb because the bridge is like... 25% Scottish.

Similar to this.



It was not that bad for an outdoor August wedding.

Was held on orcas Island so a nice cool sea breeze most of the day.

the guys all went commando and at one point were mooning the ferry traffic at the ferry landing.
Hey now... Kilts are sexy and cool --
"Around our house, dog hair is a condiment." Westminster Dog Show, 2008
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BeenSent
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In reply to maroon barchetta • 9:17a, 4/15/24
AG
maroon barchetta said:
C@LAg said:
not "cringy". but dumb. my brother made all his groomsmen (incl me) wear full Scottish kilts/garb because the bridge is like... 25% Scottish.

Similar to this.



It was not that bad for an outdoor August wedding.

Was held on orcas Island so a nice cool sea breeze most of the day.

the guys all went commando and at one point were mooning the ferry traffic at the ferry landing.


Too soon
Hey now -- kilts are sexy on men who can carry them off. I love a man in a kilt.
"Around our house, dog hair is a condiment." Westminster Dog Show, 2008
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evestor1
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9:30a, 4/15/24
I saw a father of the bride absolutely torch his daughter during the reception speech.

He started off by saying something like this [you are caring, compassionate, funny, and fun to be around ... excuse me, that is your sister i was talking about. you are detailed, controlling, and always in charge. so much that i haven't used the restroom outside of you detailed schedule since thursday]


it went for about 3-4 minutes of mind blowing roasting. i loved it. i dont know if they have talked to him since that night.
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EliteElectric
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In reply to EliteElectric • 11:23a, 4/15/24
EliteElectric said:
2010, my wedding, my MIL Kanye West'd us and stopped the ceremony to read a letter to us, to the shock of everyone including the pastor.
as a juxtaposition to cringy stuff like this and other posts in this thread, how about cool stuff you've seen?

Same wedding approx 300 people- in complete secrecy, my wife and I practiced the twist scene from Pulp Fiction until we had it perfect. Then we did that for "our dance" instead of something mushy and sappy. The crowd went wild, there is video of it somewhere and I will try to find it and post it.

The there is stuff like this- where the groom learned the Hakka for his bride who was always insecure of his acceptance of her culture

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Funky Winkerbean
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11:45a, 4/15/24
AG
A mime that preceded the procession.
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Al Bula
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In reply to EliteElectric • 12:02p, 4/15/24
AG
EliteElectric said:
Same wedding approx 300 people- in complete secrecy, my wife and I practiced the twist scene from Pulp Fiction until we had it perfect. Then we did that for "our dance" instead of something mushy and sappy.
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EliteElectric
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In reply to Al Bula • 12:05p, 4/15/24
Fair enough lol
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Drawkcab
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In reply to Ghost of Bisbee • 12:28p, 4/15/24
Ghost of Bisbee said:
Also does anyone else look back on your wedding video, see the garter grab n toss, and also think "why"

To answer this question, no. Nobody looks back on their wedding videos for any reason unless it's one of the big anniversaries ending in 0, and even then they don't watch long enough to see the garter toss.
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Tecolote
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In reply to Drawkcab • 12:41p, 4/15/24
AG
Drawkcab said:
Ghost of Bisbee said:
Also does anyone else look back on your wedding video, see the garter grab n toss, and also think "why"

To answer this question, no. Nobody looks back on their wedding videos for any reason unless it's one of the big anniversaries ending in 0, and even then they don't watch long enough to see the garter toss.
We show just the ending of one of our videos from time to time. It was sent up at the back of the church on a short stand on the floor along the aisle to capture the wedding from a panoramic view. Well, my wife's wedding dress on the way out knocked it over. The family friend didn't realize it but we got a fun view of everyone exiting from a floor camera view and a few good up-skirt shots of guests as well as they were leaving.
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maroon barchetta
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In reply to Tecolote • 1:57p, 4/15/24
Probably some bad shots as well
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JoeAggie5
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4:11p, 4/15/24
- cousin wrote "get 'er done" on a picture we had set out for people to write well wishes on the border frame (we were able to get it removed later)
- relatives unloaded two hotel carts (the kind that are tall so you can hang clothes/backpacks on) filled to the brim with beer and alcohol. This was just for the hotel, not the reception, rehearsal, etc.
- parents divorced about a year before my wedding announced they refused to take pictures together while we're about to take pictures (my brother talked them off the ledge and they took the pictures....but not next to each other)

Since it's cringiest and not moronic, I'll leave off getting kicked off golf course due to cousin shenanigans and police almost getting called because of another incident involving my uncle over the weekend.


That all to say, my wife and I will be celebrating 20 years this summer. It's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage thankfully.
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swimmerbabe11
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7:54p, 4/15/24
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5mJ3JUSMF0/?igsh=bzdhaDlseDJ4bnd4
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maroon barchetta
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In reply to swimmerbabe11 • 9:26p, 4/15/24
What was that.
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Tecolote
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In reply to maroon barchetta • 9:45p, 4/15/24
AG
maroon barchetta said:
Probably some bad shots as well
For clarification, good was as in good clarity and angles - not as in good quality subjects. Yeah, some were scary omg.
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swimmerbabe11
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In reply to maroon barchetta • 1:25a, 4/16/24
its real. I found the original video
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The Fife
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In reply to C@LAg • 10:17a, 4/16/24
C@LAg said:
not "cringy". but dumb. my brother made all his groomsmen (incl me) wear full Scottish kilts/garb because the bridge is like... 25% Scottish.

Similar to this.



It was not that bad for an outdoor August wedding.

Was held on orcas Island so a nice cool sea breeze most of the day.

the guys all went commando and at one point were mooning the ferry traffic at the ferry landing.
Utilikilt or GTTFO!
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