infinity ag said:

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fc2112 said:

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Men debate with facts, women with emotions. Children debate with emotions, too.

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One of the early lessons I had as a married man was not to take the wife tooo seriously when it came to big family decisions. Like money matters or where we move to or about a house to buy. Keep it simple. Women cannot deal with situations where they might be blamed if things go wrong. They are there to take credit when things go right.

Women love to proclaim:

Quote:

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Behind every successful man, there is a woman.

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But what about behind every bum, or a serial killer or a rapist? Silence. No woman will shoulder the blame there.


So I take all the decisions as logically as I can with the information available and then present it to the wife who adds a few touches, so she feels she is part of it. Everyone happy. I am okay to be blamed if things go wrong but usually they go right as I spend a lot of time thinking through possibilities.

If I ask her to deal with an entire issue, and come up with a recommendation on what we do, it never works out well. That is when I realized why. Women want to be seen as good and nice. Things going wrong takes them away from being seen as nice. On that front, women are no different from children.

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Why are women evacuated first in a disaster?
So men can think of a solution in silence.

713nervy said:

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AggieArchitect04 said:

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I'll start standing up advocating for women as soon as they stand up and start advocating for men in child custody cases and demand change for antiquated laws. Even the best men get completely screwed over when it comes to their kids and it's wrong. It's been wrong for a long time.

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There are a lot of things that are broken, ESPECIALLY in the justice system. I don't know why standing up for women, in general, and men - specifically in child custody cases - are not both possible at the same time.

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Interesting that you feel that men should stand up for women in general and men only in specific cases like child custody.

Why don't we just try to stand up against injustice generally wherever it occurs because there is plenty of injustice that affects both men and women?

I love how when injustice against men is pointed out the fall back argument many women use is:

Well we can address injustice against BOTH men and women can't we or are you not strong enough for that?

Why do women have to try to spin it around and womansplain to us how it's really all about them?

Why is it so hard for a woman to just say- Yeah that is ****ty and wrong and we should fix it.

infinity ag said:

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Ragnar Danneskjoldd said:

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Victimhood is the coin of the realm, unfortunately.

Something to consider for pay gaps that do exist (they don't in aggregate): you are paid what you agree to work for. It's likely people who test high in agreeablness and avoiding conflict make less. Women in general are far more agreeable and less willing to upset people than men. Men who test high in these categories will also likely make less than men who are more assertive and willing to create conflict. Believe it or not, in general, men and women are very different. Everyone is paid what they agree to work for.

No one owes it to you to pay you the compensation that someone else negotiated.

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My wife has changed jobs many times over the past 10 years and EVERY TIME I have to force and badger her to negotiate and ask for more. She would resist each time saying she may lose the offer. I would tell her that they gave her the offer, they will not take it away if she asked for something reasonable. The most is they will say no. Take it or leave it. She reluctantly would ask for more and usually get at least 75% of the increased amount. Every time she got something.

But does she thank me for it? No. Women never do.

I bet this happens everywhere. Women hate negotiating. I asked a few other women I know and they say the same - they would rather NOT negotiate and ask for more. So they don't get it. And then they beach about it.

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It is truly sad your wife isn't better at negotiating. I'm sure if she were better at it, she'd have done better than you in your arranged marriage.