My pig found itself smart enough to hop over the barrier from his pen to the next pen and eat all of that pigs food, and go to the next one and eat all of that pigs food, and the next one and eat all of that pigs food and make his way back in time when it was my time to feed him he had already eaten 3 meals and was sitting there waiting for me and I would feed him and he would eat that and that's why he gained so much weight and got sifted at the fat stock show. Cancelled fatty. Just like you.

"Hi Shirley, meet me at Leslie Pool at 9:00am sharp. Prepare to throw down. It's ***king go time!"

Help you? I have been trying to cancel this class for years! See ya next to never again! Your cancelled!

"Hey Shirley, I'll see what I can do. Is everything alright, why are you cancelling???"

No it's not the funniest possible response, but the longer this goes the better the potential payoff.

"Hi Shirley, I cancelled the class. You don't need to do anything."

With any luck, Shirley will text again once everyone b****es about her skipping the class.

"Shirley, show me your boobs!"

Deek pic. What other answer is there?

Shirley, you can't be serious. Why would you try to ban Anna's splits tomorrow?

Due to your apparent inflexibility, I advise you to attend.

That's a dood tryna scam you

DD88 said:

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Shirley, you can't be serious. Why would you try to ban Anna's splits tomorrow?

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Tell them "Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog."

If they like palindromes it'll prob get you some palin-dome

http://norvig.com/pal21txt.html

Or they can send them this 21,012 word palindrome if they REALLY like them

Skipping between poses? What kind of yoga is this anyway?

I received a similar text a few days ago

Geralt of Rivia said:

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I received a similar text a few days ago

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Well, I gonna poste those nudes?

Shockingly, they didn't reply

Did you show them penny?

"She" didn't deserve to see Penny

Geralt of Rivia said:

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"She" didn't deserve to see Penny

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Damn right she didn't

tandy miller said:

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palin-dome

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high quality

Shirley. Done. The late cancellation fee of $500 has been charged to your credit card on file.

I get those kinds of texts too. Not all the time, but most of the time they're generated by spam-bots trying to find out what phone numbers are valid (connected to a person).

So, responding is exactly what they want you to do. Best is just to delete and move on.

Some examples I've received over the last couple of years (not verbatim...just my memory):

• Hey, it's been a while since we talked. Do you have time to catch-up?
• I found this number in my contacts but can't remember who you are. Can you help?
• Are we still on for next Wednesday?
• I forgot what you wanted from the store, can you remind me?

My phone number has been linked to a house that went to auction recently. I would just respond that I would sell it to them for $1,000,000 and they never replied back.

Or told them they were wasting money on their service that sent them to me and some poor single mom was gonna get kicked to the curb because they cold called me instead of reaching out to the real owner.

Surely you don't want to cancel- we had a great time

Maybe the other half is a Victor you can Vector, or a Roger you can Roger! <insert Airplane references>

Bondag said:

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My phone number has been linked to a house that went to auction recently. I would just respond that I would sell it to them for $1,000,000 and they never replied back.

Or told them they were wasting money on their service that sent them to me and some poor single mom was gonna get kicked to the curb because they cold called me instead of reaching out to the real owner.

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In my neighbourhood, $1M would be below market price so they'd probably keep contacting you.

Caesar4 said:

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I get those kinds of texts too. Not all the time, but most of the time they're generated by spam-bots trying to find out what phone numbers are valid (connected to a person).

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I don't care; I'm lonely.

HollywoodBQ said:

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Bondag said:

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My phone number has been linked to a house that went to auction recently. I would just respond that I would sell it to them for $1,000,000 and they never replied back.

Or told them they were wasting money on their service that sent them to me and some poor single mom was gonna get kicked to the curb because they cold called me instead of reaching out to the real owner.

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In my neighbourhood, $1M would be below market price so they'd probably keep contacting you.

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I googled the address. Never heard back from anyone after my offer