If you were an evil genie, how would you twist people's wishes?

4,058 Views | 32 Replies | Last: 2 yr ago by texAZtea
lethalninja
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If you were an evil genie, how would you twist people's wishes? This question is based on the short story The Monkey's Paw.
TecRecAg
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AG
I'd probably just shoot them in the face with a 12 gauge.
Uncle Howdy
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S
I know a guy that asked Gaunter O'Dimm for wealth so he could marry his beloved, and to live like there was no tomorrow. O'Dimm granted him immortality, but his heart slowly turned to stone. Over time, he was no longer able to feel anything.

I managed to free him, though. I challenged O'Dimm to a game, risking my own soul in the process. I proceeded to solve his riddle in time, so I saved my soul along with the other guy's
Hehateme1
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I would do like the Devil did in this old SNL skit.

Give someone eternal youth, and then have them sentenced to life imprisonment.

lethalninja
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There's a Twilight Zone episode based on that, where a guy became immortal and was sentenced to life in prison.
rednecked
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AG
a guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and asks the bartender if there is any good entertainment here.
the bartender pulls a box out from behind the bar. opens it up, pulls out a tiny grand piano and a tiny man sits down and starts playing dixieland jazz music.
Guys says that's pretty cool. Where'd you get it?
there's a genie in the booth over there. go over and ask him. you get 1 wish.
guy goes over to the genie. A few minutes later the room is filled with ducks.
the guy comes back to the bar looking angry.
What's wrong with that damn genie? I said I wanted a million bucks not ducks!
yeah, the genie is kind of hard of hearing.
I didn't want a 12" pianist!

lethalninja
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If people want to post genie jokes, they can, so even if you don't know how you would twist someone's wish, you can still post genie jokes.
lethalninja
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Summary of the short story The Monkey's Paw I mentioned in the first post: In "The Monkey's Paw", a horror short story by author W. W. Jacobs, the paw of a dead monkey is a talisman that grants its possessor three wishes, but the wishes come with an enormous price. In the story, the recipient of the monkey's paw wishes for 200 dollars, only to learn that his son has been killed in a terrible work accident, for which the employer makes a goodwill payment of 200 dollars. Later, the mother asks that the dead son be wished back to life. Upon hearing strange sounds and a knock at the door, the father realizes that the thing outside would be a horribly mutilated body, and wishes it away with the paw's final wish.
ElephantRider
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For every wish that's granted, they have to read 10 lethalninja threads
lethalninja
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That's more like an annoying genie, like if the genie made them read the ten longest threads each time they made a wish.
TXAG 05
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lethalninja said:

Summary of the short story The Monkey's Paw I mentioned in the first post: In "The Monkey's Paw", a horror short story by author W. W. Jacobs, the paw of a dead monkey is a talisman that grants its possessor three wishes, but the wishes come with an enormous price. In the story, the recipient of the monkey's paw wishes for 200 dollars, only to learn that his son has been killed in a terrible work accident, for which the employer makes a goodwill payment of 200 dollars. Later, the mother asks that the dead son be wished back to life. Upon hearing strange sounds and a knock at the door, the father realizes that the thing outside would be a horribly mutilated body, and wishes it away with the paw's final wish.


We all know The Monkeys Paw. We read it before you were born. It's been used by everyone including the Twilight Zone, The Simpsons, Are You Afraid of Dark and so many more.
ABATTBQ11
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They would all inevitably end up trapped in a room with the OP for eternity
The Porkchop Express
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lethalninja said:

Summary of the short story The Monkey's Paw I mentioned in the first post: In "The Monkey's Paw", a horror short story by author W. W. Jacobs, the paw of a dead monkey is a talisman that grants its possessor three wishes, but the wishes come with an enormous price. In the story, the recipient of the monkey's paw wishes for 200 dollars, only to learn that his son has been killed in a terrible work accident, for which the employer makes a goodwill payment of 200 dollars. Later, the mother asks that the dead son be wished back to life. Upon hearing strange sounds and a knock at the door, the father realizes that the thing outside would be a horribly mutilated body, and wishes it away with the paw's final wish.
Now explain Jack and the Beanstalk.
lethalninja
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That doesn't have to do with wishes being twisted, and I copy pasted the summary of The Monkey's Paw because I mentioned it in the first post, and not everyone knows what it's about.
The Porkchop Express
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Yes they do.
Hehateme1
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I thought the Monkey was for spanking
lethalninja
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"When I was twelve, I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage, I made the bald man cry, into the turtle stew!"- Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones
DargelSkout
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OP, get help.
lethalninja
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I only posted the previous message because he referenced spanking the monkey, which is a euphemism for you know what, and that's a funny quote from Game of Thrones related to you know what. Also, the reason why I'm posting about genies is because I saw Aladdin again recently.
Krazykat
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AG
Hideyowives
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Nm
Ogre09
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The question needs a specific wish to twist. Otherwise there's no real way to answer it.

"How would you twist people's wishes?"

"I would twist them really good. So that they didn't really get what they meant to ask for, but they would still get what they asked for."

What kind of replies were you expecting???




How would you twist it if a guy asked for a girl they liked to fall in love with them?

maroon barchetta
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We saw this play out in Bedazzled.
HBCanine08
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AG
Something like this:

redline248
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It would be easier to say how I would twist wishes after I heard the wishes.
Drawkcab
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redline248 said:

It would be easier to say how I would twist wishes after I heard the wishes.

Right. The only real answer before you hear the wish is "Give them what they ask for, but not what they want or meant to ask for."
Drawkcab
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Ogre09 said:

How would you twist it if a guy asked for a girl they liked to fall in love with them?



No twisting needed. If he's having to use a wish for this she's likely way out of his league and this guys about to learn about the crazy/hot scale.

Grant the wish and sit back and laugh.
redline248
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Like if someone wished for a bigger dick you would give them that elephant disease in just the junk or shrink the rest of them while living the junk alone.
hbc07
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He's alive!
[url]http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com[/url]
BenFiasco14
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If I was an evil genie, I'd try to trick the lamp bearer into wishing for my freedom and immortality in exchange for taking my place in the lamp. I would then drop the lamp in the Mariana Trench.
CNN is an enemy of the state and should be treated as such.
Ogre09
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What if they wished for unlimited wishes?
redline248
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Ogre09 said:

What if they wished for unlimited wishes?
If they say it as simple as "I wish for unlimited wishes" then turn them into a genie and trap them in a lamp for eternity.
texAZtea
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AG
Counter clockwise.
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