I'm going to load my bucket and drag the f$*& up.
Not so common idioms
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Last: 4 yr ago by bmks270
I had a coworker that I have heard say,
Something is hard - like teaching a caveman to use a microwave
Something is obvious - that's like saying she don't sweat much for a fat girl
Something is confusing - I feel like a termite inside a wooden yo-yo.
Something is hard - like teaching a caveman to use a microwave
Something is obvious - that's like saying she don't sweat much for a fat girl
Something is confusing - I feel like a termite inside a wooden yo-yo.
One that I heard a lot while living in SC/GA was "a hit dog will holler."
You could "eff up a 2-car funeral"
I'm going to make like a baby and head out!
I'm going to make like a baby and head out!
That went over like a pregnant pole vaulter.
Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise.
***It's your money, not theIRS! (At least for a little while longer.)
I had suite mate while at A&M from the booming metropolis of Apple Springs, Texas. He used some phrases I hadn't heard before and haven't heard since.
She's got an ass like a hundred dollar coon dog.
And
She's got tits like a prize winning sow.
She's got an ass like a hundred dollar coon dog.
And
She's got tits like a prize winning sow.
Talks enough **** to bait a bear trap
Ugly as homemade soap
Ugly as homemade soap
Better to be pissed off than pissed on
dumber than a pole turtle
Aggie Infantry said:
When things are getting out of hand: Katy bar the door!
When a task is difficult: Too wet to plow.
That is a long row to hoe.
When a task is nearing completion: We are down to the short rows.
I am still wondering why Dick's hatband is so tight. 
A former coworker (a yankee) and I discussed this a few years ago. He'd heard a lot of southern/Texas sayings, but this is the list of things my grandfather used to say that my friend had never heard.
Trees are bribing the dogs = dry/hasn't rained lately
Sweating like a ***** in church = sweating a lot, or nervous
She'd make a freight train take a dirt road = she's ugly
An inch short of being round = short and fat
Like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest = busy or overwhelmed
Her nose is so high in the air, she'd drown in a rain storm = snobby
He thinks the sun rises just to hear him crow = conceited
Hair looks like a cat's been sucking on it = bad haircut
Tin roof is rusted = got knocked up (he'd heard "Love Shack" but didn't understand the lyric)
Rabbit died = pregnant
Turd floater = a flood
He wouldn't give a nickel to see Jesus riding a bicycle = cheap
Don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of = poor
Couldn't find his ass with both hands in his back pocket = stupid
Shucking _______'s corn = banging _______'s wife
The sugar = diabetes
Nuttier than a squirrel turd = crazy
Wonky-jawed = crooked, askew
Trees are bribing the dogs = dry/hasn't rained lately
Sweating like a ***** in church = sweating a lot, or nervous
She'd make a freight train take a dirt road = she's ugly
An inch short of being round = short and fat
Like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest = busy or overwhelmed
Her nose is so high in the air, she'd drown in a rain storm = snobby
He thinks the sun rises just to hear him crow = conceited
Hair looks like a cat's been sucking on it = bad haircut
Tin roof is rusted = got knocked up (he'd heard "Love Shack" but didn't understand the lyric)
Rabbit died = pregnant
Turd floater = a flood
He wouldn't give a nickel to see Jesus riding a bicycle = cheap
Don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of = poor
Couldn't find his ass with both hands in his back pocket = stupid
Shucking _______'s corn = banging _______'s wife
The sugar = diabetes
Nuttier than a squirrel turd = crazy
Wonky-jawed = crooked, askew
These are good!
He's got more ____________ than Carter's got liver pills
I feel like I've been shot at and missed and s*** at and hit
He's so dumb he could **** up wet dream
What do you mean we, you got a frog in your pocket?
If my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle
I feel like I've been shot at and missed and s*** at and hit
He's so dumb he could **** up wet dream
What do you mean we, you got a frog in your pocket?
If my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle
I'v got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey.
More wrong than 2 boys *****kng
Wait....what?!?!?Quote:
Tin roof is rusted = got knocked up (he'd heard "Love Shack" but didn't understand the lyric)
Yeah. If your tin roof is rusted, it means you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy
And my grandparents had many more idioms than those, but most are racist or homophobic or vulgar, and I really don't want to get banned!
And my grandparents had many more idioms than those, but most are racist or homophobic or vulgar, and I really don't want to get banned!
My wife's grandmother likes to say, "busier than a cranberry merchant". I'm assuming that means someone is very busy, but I have never met a cranberry merchant before, so who knows.
- Piss on the fire and call the dogs
- Slicker than owl sh t
- Don't ever turn down a piece of ass. Unless it is a young boy, turn them face down
- Slicker than owl sh t
- Don't ever turn down a piece of ass. Unless it is a young boy, turn them face down
"Went home and shot the dog"
(After a bad day)
One of our Football DCs said this once.
(After a bad day)
One of our Football DCs said this once.
Batzarro said:
"Went home and shot the dog"
(After a bad day)
One of our Football DCs said this once.
You can lead a horticulture but you can't get her out of the trailer park.
"Sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windshield!"
You're either part of the solution or part of the precipitate.
Looks like a monkey f***'in a football
"Government is a broker in pillage and every election is an advance auction on the sale of stolen goods." H.L. Mencken
'81 Ag
'81 Ag
Shaking like a chihuahua trying pass a peach pit.
Floor it until you see God
Devil's beating his wife: raining while the sun is out
Fair to middling (response to how are you doing): means I'm doing pretty good
As full of wind as a corn-eating horse: someone is boastful, or boasts about something they can't do
His phone is off the hook: he's stupid
He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket: can't sing
She's naturally horizontal: she's loose/promiscuous
Nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs
Fair to middling (response to how are you doing): means I'm doing pretty good
As full of wind as a corn-eating horse: someone is boastful, or boasts about something they can't do
His phone is off the hook: he's stupid
He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket: can't sing
She's naturally horizontal: she's loose/promiscuous
Nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs
When something isn't my problem/decision - "Not my monkey, not my zoo"
HBCanine08 said:
When something isn't my problem/decision - "Not my monkey, not my zoo"
Not really idioms but sayings from my East Texas raising
"Wish in one hand, **** in the other, and see which one fills up faster."
"Bigger than Dallas and growing like Houston"
"Dumber than a sock of rocks"
"Runs like a scalded dog"
"Fuller than a tick"
"Wish in one hand, **** in the other, and see which one fills up faster."
"Bigger than Dallas and growing like Houston"
"Dumber than a sock of rocks"
"Runs like a scalded dog"
"Fuller than a tick"
Or "not my monkey, not my circus"HBCanine08 said:
When something isn't my problem/decision - "Not my monkey, not my zoo"
Finer than figs.
***It's your money, not theIRS! (At least for a little while longer.)
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