Super Troopers
Friday
Half Baked

Real Genius

"So, if there's anything I can do for youor, more to the point, to youjust let me know.
Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your *****?
Not right now.
A girl's gotta have her standards."

"Have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?
She happens to be my daughter.
Oh. Then I guess you have."

"Do you mind if I name my first child after you? 'Dip**** Knight' has a nice ring to it."

"I want to see more of you around the lab.
Fine. I'll gain weight."

"Don't eat that. Don't you know that eating that can give you very large breasts? [looks down at her chest] Oh my God, I'm too late!"

"You are Chris Knight, aren't you?
I hope so...I'm wearing his underwear."

"I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said "... I drank what?"."

For me, it's Blades of Glory and Anchorman

There will never, ever, be a more quotable movie than Raising Arizona. Hell the whole damn movie was one long quote. Some examples already given, here's some of my favorites:

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Glen:
Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.

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Nathan Arizona Sr.:

You got a table and chairs, you gotta dinette set. You gotta table and no chairs, you got dick.

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Glen:
How many Pollacks it take to screw up a lightbulb?
H.I:
I don't know, Glen. One?

Nope, it takes three.

Wait a minute, I told it wrong. Here, I'm startin' over: How come it takes three Pollacks to screw up a lightbulb?

I don't know, Glen.

'Cause they're so darn stupid!

****, man, loosen up! Don't ya get it?

No, Glen, I sure don't.

****, man, think about it! I guess it's what they call a "way homer."

Why's that?

'Cause you only get it on the way home.

I'm already home, Glen.
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Gale:
Alright ya' hayseeds, it's a stick-up. Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground.
Old Man in bank:
Well, which is it young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'ma gonna be in motion. You see...
Gale:
Shut up!
Old Man in bank:
Okay then.
Gale:
Everybody down on the ground!
Evelle:
Y'all can just forget that part about freezin' now.
Gale:
Better still to get down there.
Evelle:
Yeah, y'all hear that, don't ya'?
Gale:
***** Where'd all the tellers go?
Evelle:
They're on the floor as you commanded, Gale.

-------

OFFICER: Was the child wearing anything when he was abducted?

NATHAN: Nobody sleeps naked in this house.

OLDER AGENT:
I am asking the questions.

OFFICER: To put out an APB, I need a description.

YOUNGER AGENT:
We're better trained...to intervene in a crisis situation.
What was he wearing?

NATHAN: A dinner jacket. What do you think?
He was wearing his damn jammies.

YOUNGER AGENT: The child was wearing his jammies.

OLDER AGENT: Do you have any disgruntled employees?

NATHAN: They're all disgruntled. I ain't running a damn daisy farm.
My motto is "Do it my way or watch your butt."

OLDER AGENT:
It might have been an employee?

NATHAN: Don't make me laugh. Without my say-so...they wouldn't piss
with their pants on fire.

OFFICER:
What did the pajamas look like?

NATHAN:
I don't know. They were jammies! They had Yodas and **** on 'em!

Haven't read the thread but Blazing Saddles is the answer.

chipotle said:

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Airplane
blazing saddles
schindlers list
outcold

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Nice comedy you have in that list... LOL

At our house it's probably:

Dumb and Dumber (Just when i think you can possibly be any dumber....)
The Office (That's what she said)
Tommy Boy (I'm sorry I'm ******ed)
Liar Liar (Baseball Stuff, Whatever takes the attention off your face)
Christmas Vacation (You serious Clark, It's all part of the experience)
Angels in the Outfield (Hey it could happen)
Sandlot (You're killing me smalls)

Full Metal Jacket isn't a comedy, but damn are there some memorable quotes there:

I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo.

Are those live rounds?
Seven-six-two millimeter. Full metal jacket.

It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. I think you've been cheated.

Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece of **** Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?

God was here before the Marine Corps. So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps.

If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?

I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would f*** a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you.

Did you parents have any children that lived? I bet the regret that.

What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?

Tonight, you men will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only ***** you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary J. Rottencrotch through her pertty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful.

How can you shoot women and children?
Easy, you don't lead 'em so much.
Ain't war hell?

Nothing starring an all-female cast, am i right?!?!???? LOLz.

TPS_Report said:

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Raising Arizona

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Son you got a pantie on your head.

Super Troopers

Fletch
Smokey and the Bandit