After twenty years of watching fellow humans, I have developed a theory on naturally occurring wedgies (not someone pulling on the back of your underwear) and divided them into the male and female variety.
The Male Lodge: During normal activity, the undergarment actually becomes lodged into the traditional wedgie position, much like a thong. At this point, the male is forced to reach behind with one hand and remove the garment. Unless performed discreetly, embarrassment will undoubtedly ensue.
The Female Slide: Again, during normal activity, and especially while swimming, the garment either begins to ride up the side of each cheek right below the buttocks, never actually becoming lodged. Therefore, the female must slide both of her hands under the each side of her buttocks to straighten out the undergarment/swimsuit. Unlike the male remedy, this is not considered a societal faux pas.
Although unproven, I assume that this difference is caused primarily by the female anatomy. Generally, females have wider hips than males, causing the garment to be stretched "to the max" and leading to this Female Slide.
Males, on the other hand, have narrower hips, and, especially during the later years of waning muscle tone, smaller buttocks. This produces a garment excess that simply has only one place to go...The Lodge. The result is not pleasant.
To conclude, I intend to parallel these two types of wedgies to one more embarrassing phenomenon. The Lodge, unfortunately, invariably leads to males experiencing a greater frequency of "racing stripes."
That is all.
The Male Lodge: During normal activity, the undergarment actually becomes lodged into the traditional wedgie position, much like a thong. At this point, the male is forced to reach behind with one hand and remove the garment. Unless performed discreetly, embarrassment will undoubtedly ensue.
The Female Slide: Again, during normal activity, and especially while swimming, the garment either begins to ride up the side of each cheek right below the buttocks, never actually becoming lodged. Therefore, the female must slide both of her hands under the each side of her buttocks to straighten out the undergarment/swimsuit. Unlike the male remedy, this is not considered a societal faux pas.
Although unproven, I assume that this difference is caused primarily by the female anatomy. Generally, females have wider hips than males, causing the garment to be stretched "to the max" and leading to this Female Slide.
Males, on the other hand, have narrower hips, and, especially during the later years of waning muscle tone, smaller buttocks. This produces a garment excess that simply has only one place to go...The Lodge. The result is not pleasant.
To conclude, I intend to parallel these two types of wedgies to one more embarrassing phenomenon. The Lodge, unfortunately, invariably leads to males experiencing a greater frequency of "racing stripes."
That is all.