Last day of A&M class for me was a Thursday...
Went to the Chicken at about 4:00pm. Started drinking, drinking and drinking some more. At some point I ordered a chicken fried steak sandwich and a plate of Nacho's, sour cream and extra Jalapeno's.
Got home at 2:00am, had a flight to Dallas at 6am out of Easterwood. Rolled out of bed at 4:45am, suited up and headed to the Airport. While in the concourse, noticed the old furnace making some very loud rumblings, figured I better clear everything out before getting on a 12 seater plane...
No go, the plumbing was stopped up. We board the plane and before the door is shut, I don't have to poop, but there is a nuclear toxic waste dump mixing in my stomach. I need some pressure relief and I need it now!
I proceed to eak out a little gas on and off for about a minute without making that high pitch old school pressure cooker squeal. This goes on for a bit then we take off. During take off I let her fly, lots of noise people distracted, I let out some fuuuuumes.
After about 10 minutes the flight attendant gets up, opens the bathroom, which "thank goodness right next to me" looks in, flushes the toilet and leaves. The toxic war being fought in my stomach between the sour cream, jalapeno's and the remains of a chicken fried steak have reached Chernobal like status. I have a full blown pilot light blowing fumes into this 250 cubic foot cabin of an airplane. People are starting to cough. The flight attendant again comes down, opens the door to the bathroom, looks around then immediately makes the announcement: We apologize for the smell in the bathroom, we have no idea what it is, we are very sorry for the inconvenience.
People, that is like dropping the green flag Friday afternoon of spring break! I had clearance, I had the OK, I had a flight attendant tell the passengers that the smell was coming from the bathroom. RELEASE the GAS!!!!!! I smiled, laid back in my seat and released what I can only describe as piping hot nuclear toxic fumes into that cabin.
I burnt a hole straight thru that seat...
The pilot could not get on the ground fast enough, and that door was open before the plane stopped rolling. Got off, made a quick deposit and was good to go.
I tore that plane up, not my proudest moment for sure, I can only imagine the other side of this.