An amigo of mine just proposed a question to me that I thought could prompt some good discussion this morning:

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Am I supposed to go on my future brother-in-law's bachelor party? I was invited, but it seems polite to decline, right?

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What say you?

I guess it depends on how close you are with said future brother-in-law. But what if you have that "normal" relationship with a brother-in-law where you know the guy well, you see him every time you see your sister, but you've never really hung out one-on-one and developed a friendship that is separate from FBIL's relationship with sister? Is the guy just being polite in inviting his fiance's daughter or does the guy really want him to go to the bachelor party?

I don't think I'd want to go to my FBIL's bachelor party.

Only if he intends on adding them to his wolfpack

Are you a meaux? Because you've made this wayy too complicated. I thought only things that had a lot of estrogen made such a big deal out of something so small. Go if you want to, if you don't then don't go.

Are you ok with watching the guy who will spend the next few years banging your sister slam some stripper ass?

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Are you a meaux? Because you've made this wayy too complicated. I thought only things that had a lot of estrogen made such a big deal out of something so small. Go if you want to, if you don't then don't go.

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I think it's a situation where it's polite for the groom to ask, but also polite for the brother to decline. My BIL is great and we have a great relationship but his bachelor party was his time to hang out with all of his friends that he's known forever. I don't really know his friends that well and thought it would be weird for me to go and mess up the group dynamic they have established.

For me the answer is simple - I would not go because the guy lives too far away and I would rather sit at home and play video games with my pretend girlfriend. But I was curious to the custom of inviting the fiance's brother to the bachelor party. Is inviting a brother-in-law a situational formality and courtesy or is it more normal for brother's of the bride to simply not be invited?

It just depends on if they are friends. My brother's brother in law was at his bachelor party. If they aren't friends it's just a courtesy invitation and should be graciously declined.

I was invited

I was legitimately busy and could not go
Would have been tough deciding if I had been free, being the only one of 10 who hadn't known everyone for years.

This was a tame party: hill country barbecue tour, grilling, drinking, etc. The stripper thing would have been awkward and made it a definite no.

I have never been in this situation, but I have been to quite a few bachelor parties. Out of the 7 I've attended, 5 had future BIL attend. Out of those 5, 2 had strippers show up. One FBIL was ok with it, the other freaked out.

No one better politely invite me to anything BC if I wanna go, I am

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One FBIL was ok with it, the other freaked out.

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Sounds like the other was not a steel trap.

Only had one FBIL involved at a buddies bachelor party that involved the titter. The FBIL slapped a grand down to reserve the VIP for the group to go up for an hour and paid for the groom to stay up there until we left. That's how FBIL's should behave.

My sister just got engaged and I was told that under no circumstances am I allowed to go to her fiancés bachelor party. Mainly because she knows I have a penchant for strippers and hookers and she doesn't want me corrupting him.

If you can't handle seeing your future brother in law getting a lap dance, you have no business going to his bachelor party. You know what happens at those.

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If you can't handle seeing your future brother in law getting a lap dance, you have no business going to his bachelor party.

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What about BBBJTCCIMNQNS?

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What about BBBJTCCIMNQNS?

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If you're actually watching you BIL during this then you have bigger problems.

Heck, my bro-in-law planned the bachelor party.

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What about BBBJTCCIMNQNS?

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This is the greatest acronym ever.

My old college roommate's titty party included his 3 FBILs, their cousin, and his dad

Depends on the situation.

My BIL married my sister earlier this year, he had 10 or 12 old college buddies fly in from all over North America for the wedding/party. I politely declined because there's a chance that just my presence could screw up the dynamic of their group, just because I'm the guy who doesn't get the inside jokes, and references of the guys who have 15 years of history together.

If it had just been some of his buddies from work or something, I probably would have gone.

OK for BIL to go to dinner, and the day activity like fishing, paintball, etc. BIL goes home before night event (tittys). Seems to work well in my experience.

I am going to my brother in law's bachelor party. I am going to be in the wedding as a groomsman as well. Even if I wasn't a groomsman, I'd be invited to the bachelor party. I've known him since he was 15, and we've become good friends over the last 16 or so years.