Bama with his pecker in his hand

"No really, I'm going to be out of a job soon, I could come on as a pinch hitter for you next year."

PC load letter?PC load letter?!? What the fck is PC load letter!?!

Threats of 'Chicago style politics' just don't have the same impact over the phone.

"Hello, First Place Texas Rangers"

"Eric, if you don't make this Fast & Furious stuff go away before the election, I'm going to put this bat up your butt fast and furious!!"

Sir, if it didn't work out for MJ it won't work for you.

"It wasn't my idea, Michelle wanted to try something bigger."

What do you mean I can't use my own bat playing MLB 12: The Show?

A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms... What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork... Looks, throws, catches, hustles. Part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. If his team don't field... what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say? I'm goin' out there for myself. But... I get nowhere unless the team wins.

Hello, Miss Lewinsky? This is The President. I got your "cigar" right here.