i'm sure this has been done before but...

the ol' "arsenic in the coffee" is a classic, but if you really want to get creative, i'd go with a bear trap in his chair

put a piece of tape on the optics of the mouse.

20% cost of living raise memo.

~ tell them that the company has gone bankrupt and there are no funds to pay any retirement benefits.

~ have an ambulance show up and ask where the elderly guy with a stapler up his butt is

~ pull his chair out from under him and watch as falls on the ground and yells "I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP"

~ put cocaine in the coffee creamer or sugar

~ lock his door and put a vacant sign on the door

~ have staff members start moving their stuff into his office while he's still there. they are claiming "dibs" on his office

~ buy him a nice set of golf clubs then break his legs with the 9 Iron

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~ buy him a nice set of golf clubs then break his legs with the 9 Iron

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..um

quote:

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put a piece of tape on the optics of the mouse.

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or just unplug it.

Zip ties on their drive shaft

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=lN6GwmW3vbw

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Zip ties on their drive shaft

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This would have worked much better when I did this one to a friend in high school had my wallet not fallen out of my pocket.

We had an elaborate party for an a retiring employee once, and sent out a company wide email with directions to a hotel banquet room, followed by an email to everyone but the employee, telling them to ignore the first email and go to a nearby restaurant instead. The hotel let us put up a couple of signs and some balloons, even though we weren't renting the room. He got there after work and we had three people there to greet him and tell him that nobody else was coming. (His family was in on it. They told him they were busy that night and couldn't come). The three who were there managed to convince him to ditch the "party" and go out to eat with them. They went to the restaurant where over 200 people (including his wife and kids) were waiting. I wasn't there when he got to the fake party, but they taped it, and man, did he look sad! He ended up having a great time at the real party, but when we all saw the tape of his arrival at the fake one, everybody felt bad about the prank.

Have a cop show up and tell him he is being arrested for trafficking child pornography.

Ask this guy.

Poop on his desk.

Poop on his daughter.

If he has a door to his office, drywall over it and paint it to match the rest of the wall. Have everyone pretend to not know him and alert security. As he is being escorted out have security escort him to the location of the party

Tell him they ran out of him at the jerk store.

PoopTart, you...umm...got any of that creamer left?

Zip tie the trigger on a can of febreeze tight, then toss it in his cubicle with him in it.