atag, I have a crush on you

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I'm incapable of having meaningful feelings so I'm probably not a good person to be giving advice.

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Not to mention that you're completely anti-relationships, so anything you say is obviously incredibly biased.

That is such a good point!

this guy definitely needs to move on, but i have a feeling that atag hasn't communicated her lack of interest as clearly as she thinks.

I thought you had meaningful feelings for me p1!

Well that goes without saying.

Many years ago I had a good male friend who over time became interested in being more than friends with me. I really enjoyed his friendship, but I had ZERO interest in anything more. At the time, I thought that I was making that pretty clear, but looking back I should have been very direct and specific about my feelings because he wasn't picking up on any of my hints (which in my mind was my way of letting him down gently).

Long story short, I started dating one of his friends, and things got really nasty between us, the two of them, and the rest of our friends. He ended up being very hurt for quite a while. One of my biggest regrets is that we probably could have salvaged the friendship if I'd been more direct as soon as I realized he had feelings instead of unintentionally giving him hope.

Moral of the story: if you think you're being mean by making your feelings clear; you're really not. As long as you're honest, then he can make an informed decision about continuing the friendship. Anything else is not fair.

I definitely wouldn't defend the guy, without knowing how the girl treats the situation, but I sincerely question why any woman would want to be friends with a guy, knowing she would be done with him as soon as she finds someone to bang. Friendships don't get destroyed by a one of the people wanting to find happiness in another person. That is what you root for your friends to find.

I am only friends with a few girls I find extremely attractive. One, is a Bible Beater virgin, and I have denied her advances a couple of times over the years in favor of not ruining a friendship. Another, I used to have a huge crush on, but it was simply a crush, and if you are a secure person, you don't find people attractive that don't find you attractive. That's simple. There are also a few others here and there that dated friends(I'm totally anti-Eskimo brother.)

Other than that, ugly girls can be friends. I was friends with this girl from high school that banged the old head of carpool, who always tried to keep his premarital sex on the DL. Well her super sexy best friend and I banged a couple of times. Did not make carpool's old slam piece happy at all, since apparently she had a crush on me. So I know it can happen in reverse. Women's feelings getting trampled on isn't that big of a deal, but if I had awareness of the situation, I wouldn't have banged her best friend, or I would have stopped being friends with her. Friends don't intentionally do that to one another. It is that simple, imo. But maybe I have different standards for friendship.

Also, back to the Bible Beater virgin, get this bear trap scenario. First off she's gorgeous. You homos might not understand the tail I can get, even though I'm out of shape and ugly, but damn, I can pull women that would make Sea Bass glue himself to his jeans. There are a few of my friends who lurk here that know the female in question, and could verify. Anyway, her rich dad pays for us to go to a Rangers game, wants to "pretend to be bf/gf", holds my hand the entire time, and is definitely throwing herself at me. We then begin a conversation about her older sister, who is also Bible type virgin, who has a crush on some boy, blah blah blah. Then gets to a sort about how they have never kissed, but spoon together, almost every night. I am a little drunk, laugh at this, and make the statement, "you don't do that and not get a raging hard on". Then questioning about things blah blah blah. The conversation turns kind to weird and trails off I think, then out of now where she says, "you and me should spoon together!" I say "no, thats not what friends do" then she throws my hand away, super angry. I forget the rest. Got a great picture of us with fireworks behind us after the game. Makes me look like a baller.

But what sort of bull **** is that supposed to be? You're a virgin til marriage, but you just want to spoon and not expect me to penetrate you? She was 21 and had never seen a *****. Ever. My skepticism of Jesus, and my wholehearted disagreement with hypocritical Christians that do bang before marriage, yet go to Breakaway, doesn't apply to people that actually practice what they preach. How could I put it in her without being a horrible person? Even if she wanted it? Jesus Christ, I would have rocked her ****ing world.

O. And that was the only game the Rangers lost to the Astros that year. Kinsler got thrown out of the game or something fluky happened. That was the worst part.

Why does not calling him a puss = defending him? He's not the one on the GB airing out his failure to engage in healthy personal relationships, AGAIN.

It would be much more fun and meaningful to call him out for being a puss if he were here, or if we at least knew he was lurking.

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Rangers lost to the Astros

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Only thing worth reading in that post

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Got a great picture of us with fireworks behind us after the game. Makes me look like a baller.

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Totally.

Telefewax, that story I'm sure applied to tons of girls, especially in College Station.

The whole friends/spoon buddies/whatever game is an easy way for girls to get the emotional fix they want from a bf/gf type relationship without the commitment to that person. Guys do the same thing with porn; they want the sexual satisfaction without the relational commitment.

It's ridiculously immature. You can't have one without the other in a healthy relationship. And girls, if you're only looking for the emotional aspect from a guy without the intentions of possible commitment, you are using him. Guys, if you're just trying to bang a chick, you're using her. This is nothing new.

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Guys, if you're just trying to bang a chick, you're using her

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But what if that's the only thing she wants from you too, and that is an understanding that works?

Srs question.

Haven't you ever seen "Friends with Benefits," or whatever that Natalie Portman movie was called. That never ends well, and you know it. Either someone gets emotionally scarred for the next time, and STD, or pregnant.

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But what if that's the only thing she wants from you too, and that is an understanding that works?

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where's the problem?

it's only a problem if she and he want different things.

Huh. I see your point.

EDIT: to AggieLaw

[This message has been edited by p1 Claire (edited 3/6/2012 11:34a).]

Can Natalie Portman make a movie about the government's deficit spending so we can get the easy answer to that too?

Srs question.

i will say though im not friends with him to get attention or help me out until im in my next relationship. Actually, most guys that are into me and im not into them usually get thrown into the creeper category and I try to avoid them at all costs. We just have a blast when we hang out and I would like to continue my friendship with him no matter whom i am dating.

AggieLaw's comments and his potential for getting poon at the rodeo.

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The whole friends/spoon buddies/whatever game is an easy way for girls to get the emotional fix they want from a bf/gf type relationship without the commitment to that person. Guys do the same thing with porn; they want the sexual satisfaction without the relational commitment.

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That's a little different, imo. Masturbation and porn has a lot to do with raging hormones. I mean I have always had access to it, but I'm sure if it was the early 1900s, I would have a much more vivid imagination. An emotional fix, is based in uncertainity and stuff. Rubbing one out, is just physical, imo.

And is the friend spoon game common among people? It was only suggested to me once, and didn't sound like fun... at all. More like a cruel joke.

O and that chick was a former Auburn sororistute, not an Aggie.

*sorostitute.

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We just have a blast when we hang out and I would like to continue my friendship with him no matter whom i am dating.

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I'm sure your next BF will appreciate that your best friend wants to do you.

I've seen atag and this guy out at the bars before and she doesn't do anything to lead him on and he doesn't act like a clingy poosy around her and they do have a lot of fun...

But in support of the guy, he's a cool good guy by the way, I think she should take him home one night and bang him just so they can get it done and over with and go back to being friends.

Don't punch me when you see me atag...

[This message has been edited by MJK316 (edited 3/6/2012 1:03p).]

Rule #1 on the 21 year old virgin bible thumping spoon sloot!

[This message has been edited by dietcola84 (edited 3/6/2012 1:17p).]

so your "cute" friend that has a crush on him is a size 12? Sorry, but your "cute" friend is a fatty.

I like size 12 women fwiw. I also like the ones that are give or take another 12 sizes.

How big is a size 12 anyway? I don't comprehend wimmen sizes.

Give him some poon. He deserves it.

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I like size 12 women fwiw. I also like the ones that are give or take another 12 sizes.

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If she's 5'11 or 6'0 a size 12 is still chubby and not a fatty yet

And is MJK the lurking bald loser friend?

I thought atag was married.

MJK, you're bald.