Lone Starr: We gotta get moving before dawn.
Barf: Why so early?
Lone Starr: Because we're in the middle of a desert and we're not going to get very far once that blazing sun gets overhead.
[screen dissolves into a shot of the blazing sun overhead, with Lone Starr and Barf still slightly visible]
Barf: Nice dissolve.

"COMB THE FIELDS..."

COMB the desert....

then the black guys get stuck with the afro pick.

LUDICROUS SPEED!!!!!!!!!!!

(only because combing the desert was already taken)

"Found anything yet?"

"Nothing yet sir."

"How bout you guys?"

"Not a thing sir."

"What about you guys?"

"We ain't found sh/t!"

The whole "when will then be now?" bit is classic too...

I bet she gives great helmet

This is Mr. Coffee

and

We have been jammed sir

[This message has been edited by clobby (edited 1/26/2010 7:44p).]

Yogurt: moooook mock mock moook[/throat clearing sound]
Lonestar: You can read it?
Yogurt: No I was just clearing my throat.


Lord Helmet: Im surrounded by a bunch of *******s


Alien guy: Oh no. Not again.

Yogurt: Moichandising! Moichandising! Where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs: the T-shirt, Spaceballs: the Coloring Book [holds up a Transformers comic book], Spaceballs: the Lunchbox, Spaceballs: the Breakfast Cereal! Spaceballs: the Flame Thrower!! [fires a blast from flame thrower]
Dinks: Ooohh!
Yogurt: The kids love this one. And last, but not least, Spaceballs: the Doll- me.
[Yogurt squeezes the doll, which says "May the Schwartz be with you!"]
Yogurt: Adorable

Wanted to comment on how horrible this movie is.

carry on

DONT RUIN A GREAT THREAD CROW!

quote:

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So the combination is... one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard.. The kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!

---

quote:

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Water, my ass! Bring this guy some Pepto-Bismol

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I remember seeing this in the theater with my younger brother when it came out. Not many laughs outside of the final few scenes, and don't get me started on the horrible Joan Rivers robot character....

quote:

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Wanted to comment on how horrible this movie is.

carry on

---

Staff, please ban user for:
A. Not finding any humor in Spaceballs. This clearly indicates user is a spambot.
B. Being a humorless dick who tries to ruin other people's attempts to have fun on this board AND keep it relatively clean.
C. Making unkind comments about you that I cannot prove, but know for certain were said. Trust me.

Just one of those reasons should be adequate. With all three, you really have no option.


Oh, and I thought the whole Druish princess / nose job thing was funny.

[This message has been edited by bdabbs (edited 1/26/2010 9:20p).]

my hair, they shot my hair

Don't hate on him for not liking it, he probably didn't like MP and the Holy Grail either.

I APPROVE THIS THREAD!

"Never underestimate the POWER of the SCHWARTZ!"

quote:

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You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Let's see how well you handle it.

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It's Mega Maid. She's gone from suck to blow.

quote:

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DARK HELMET(mask down)

Good. Fire a warning shot across her nose.

Guns start firing.

...


DARK HELMET(lifts up mask)

Careful, you idiot. I said across her nose, not up it.

GUNNER(lifts up eye guard)

Sorry, sir. (he is cross-eyed) Doing my best.

DARK HELMET

Who made that man a gunner?

MAJOR

I did, sir. He's my cousin. (he is cross-eyed, too)

DARK HELMET

Who is he?

COL SANDURZ

He's an *******, sir.

DARK HELMET

I know that. What's his name?

COL SANDURZ

That is his name, sir. *******, Major *******.

DARK HELMET

And his cousin?

COL SANDURZ

He's an *******, too, sir. Gunner's-mate, 1st Class, Philip *******.

DARK HELMET

How many *******s we got on this ship, anyhow?

All, but few, stand up.

ALL

Yo!

DARK HELMET

I knew it. I'm surrounded by *******s. (pulls down mask) Keep firing, *******s.

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quote:

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[Lord Helmet is playing with his dolls in his quarters when Col Sandurz bursts in]
Colonel Sandurz: Lord Helmet!
Dark Helmet: WHAT?
[Helmet gathers up his dolls in the blink of an eye]
Colonel Sandurz: You're needed on the bridge sir!
Dark Helmet: Knock on my door! Knock next time!
Colonel Sandurz: Yes, sir!
Dark Helmet: Did you see anything?
Colonel Sandurz: No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again.
Dark Helmet: GOOD!
Colonel Sandurz: [Sandurz slams the door]

---

Love the doll scene!

Has to be the Radar Jammer

My Company commander in the army is CPT Schwartz.

My Schwartz is bigger than your Schwartz. It's not the size of the Schwartz it's how you use it is one of my favorite lines.

Dark Helmet: [looking at Mr. Coffee] What's the matter with this thing, what's all that churnning and bubbling, you call that radar screen?
Colonel Sandurz: No, sir. We call it,
[slaps the machine]
Colonel Sandurz: Mr Coffee. Care for some?
[prepairs a cup for Helmet]
Dark Helmet: Yes. I always have my coffee when I watch radar, you know that.
Colonel Sandurz: Of course I do, sir.
Dark Helmet: [to everybody] Everybody knows that!
All the henchmen in the room: [covering their crotches] Of course we do, sir.

"They've given us ... the raspberry."

Planet of the Apes - "Oh sh*t. Not again"

"Whatsa matter Colonel Sanders....chicken?"

"I HATE Yogurt!"

"You've heard of me?"
"Are you kidding? Who hasn't heard of Yogurt??"

Pizza the Hut was pretty funny, too. I was watching the movie with my sisters during our annual end of the world party last year, and we were eating pizza when he came on. We all just kind of put our pizzas down. He's so gross!

Spaceball one...it's gone plaid

we've been jammed

when will then be now?

Commanderette Zircon: Shall I have Snotty beam you down, sir?
President Skroob: I don't know about this beaming stuff? Is it safe?
Commanderette Zircon: Oh yes, sir. Snotty beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful.

Oh great! a Drewish Princes.