Nancy: He went to Northwestern and Johns Hopkins, is that good enough for you?

Brennan: No, it’s not.

Nancy: Well, Brennan, those are very prestigious schools.

Brennan: I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins.

Nancy: You don't know anybody named Johnny Hopkins.

Brennan: It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering. And they were blazing that **** up every day.

no tv for a week


you're ****ing high!

HUFF: DID WE JUST BECOME BEST FRIENDS

DOBACK: YUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HUFF: WANNA GO TO THE GARAGE AND DO KARATE???!!!

"This house is a prison!"
"On Planet Bull****!"
"In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel ****!"

Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus!

I have a belly full of white dog crap, and now you pull this **** on me?

Dad...it's SHARK week!

Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the weiner.

Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the **** up!

I've been called the songbird of my generation...

You want to punch me, don't you?!

I didn't want salmon, I said it four times.

This wedding is horse****.

Is your arm broken?

It's a waiting game, we won't know.