When this all started, we were still motivated, and we believed it wasn't going to be a long term stoppage. When we finally heard the news that our events were canceled, it was disappointing, but we were at least relieved that we finally had an idea of what we were going to be doing for the rest of the year. It was very disappointing because I was having a great year, and it has definitely been a mental challenge. I have been working hard on the mental side as well as the physical side.
I think at first, our coaches knew what we needed, and that was taking a little break. Personally, I wanted no breaks. I wanted to keep going, but at some point, we had to take a step back and re-evaluate. The weight training has been hard, but thankfully we have access to a gym, so my strength training hasn't skipped a beat. We are trying to get creative with workouts, and I know this time will make me stronger either way. We're all in the same boat, so we are all using this time to take a mental step back and grow in areas that we lack.
I think pushing back the Olympics a year helps my case to make the Olympics. I always felt I was playing catch-up on track since I was soccer-first in college. Now looking at it a few months later, I know this is a massive opportunity for me to catch up and get better in all my events. I think it is a blessing because I think my ceiling is much higher than it is right now, so spending more time than ever before on my javelin has been incredible because we never had the time to do that before.
World ranking wise I am No. 18 in the world right now. There are two other Americans who are ranked inside the top five in the world. I am the next American in the world rank, so I was very excited to see where this season was going to go. I changed my nutrition plan last year, and it has made me much stronger. I can go into the outdoor season with the confidence that I can compete with the big dogs. I think my eyes have been opened to how far I can go. If I can get more consistent in my javelin, the sky is the limit for me, so having that confidence now is really important.
I know I want to keep pushing into this upcoming Olympics and earn a sponsorship. If I can do that, then I know I'll have a future in this. For now, the focus is on this Olympics, and I'll worry about the rest later. If I can be financially dependent on track, then I feel like I will be doing this for a while because so far, that has been the hardest part, but I am excited to see what comes from all of this when we get a chance to compete again next year.