He has dementia and hasn't been allowed to leave the 4 walls of his room for 20 days. The only shower he's had has been sponge baths given by my mom. I'm typing this post with an N95 mask on in my dad's room with just the two of us because they require me to wear it at all times. I'm fully vaccinated. My dad can't hear well and with a mask on he can't read lips so we have a hard time communicating.

If you were confined to your room for 20 days without being able to understand anyone and without a shower would you be able to maintain your sanity? My dad has dementia and this is making it 10X worse.

If they would just allow him to leave his room once a day to go down to the therapy room all by himself how would that create a risk for covid? Instead of being by himself in his room he'd be by himself in the physical therapy center doing therapy.

If you have someone you care about don't think about sending them here...if you want to know where he is pm me. I wouldn't want anyone else to make the mistake of sending a loved one here.

My Mom is in a Shavano Park memory facility with Alzheimers. It has been hell getting doctors there. She can't leave because she is incontinent.

I am so sorry for all dealing with this right now. It's has been a strain on my family for 2 years.

Why haven't you discussed and complained with his nurses and the manager of the facility and his/her doctor? My mother went two and a half years bedridden with nothing but sponge baths. If they won't properly assist, then be his advocate and have him moved to another facility.

agz win said:

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Why haven't you discussed and complained with his nurses and the manager of the facility and his/her doctor? My mother went two and a half years bedridden with nothing but sponge baths. If they won't properly assist, then be his advocate and have him moved to another facility.

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We are moving him to The Delaney in Waco on Tuesday. We wish it could be today.

What is your opinion on having a roommate vs being in a room alone? We are moving my dad to The Delaney in Waco and right now he's going to have a roommate, but I don't think its a good idea.

It's probably dependent on each individual, but I'd not recommend it for most, especially late stage. My step dad has become very combative and has assaulted staff and my mother.

I can't imagine having two people like that in a room together would be a positive thing.

Feel for you. My mom was in the same situation with dementia and in a nursing home from Oct 2019 to Oct 2020. She was 84.

Until March 2020 we could see her often and dad went every day. After that we mainly only saw her through windows and glass doors at the nursing home. Dad would go each day for the couple of minutes she was outside as she was transported for dialysis and give her some treats and snacks as she was entering or exiting the transport van. She was diagnosed as Covid + along the way with no symptoms as well and spent one week in a Covid only nursing home while she "recovered".

She had a stay in a specialty hospital where we saw her one person at a time for a couple of weeks and then back to the nursing home before another stay in a hospital for a leg wound where no visitors were allowed. From there she was back to the specialty hospital, this time without visitors allowed and placed on hospice in that facility after a few days.

The next time we saw her was when we were finally able to get transferred to a nice hospice facility in Dallas the day before she passed. She looked awful from the lack of care she had received in the final few weeks.

I know there was a lot of sickness spread in nursing homes with the initial wave with a lot of it resulting in deaths. But I think it was inhumane to not devise a better way for those patients to see their family in a safe, controlled environment. No one cared at all about the harm of it all to those people and their families. There could have been a way.

Best of luck to you and be as optimistic as you possibly can. It's the only way to mentally cope with it.

AggieBiker said:

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Feel for you. My mom was in the same situation with dementia and in a nursing home from Oct 2019 to Oct 2020. She was 84.

Until March 2020 we could see her often and dad went every day. After that we mainly only saw her through windows and glass doors at the nursing home. Dad would go each day for the couple of minutes she was outside as she was transported for dialysis and give her some treats and snacks as she was entering or exiting the transport van. She was diagnosed as Covid + along the way with no symptoms as well and spent one week in a Covid only nursing home while she "recovered".

She had a stay in a specialty hospital where we saw her one person at a time for a couple of weeks and then back to the nursing home before another stay in a hospital for a leg wound where no visitors were allowed. From there she was back to the specialty hospital, this time without visitors allowed and placed on hospice in that facility after a few days.

The next time we saw her was when we were finally able to get transferred to a nice hospice facility in Dallas the day before she passed. She looked awful from the lack of care she had received in the final few weeks.

I know there was a lot of sickness spread in nursing homes with the initial wave with a lot of it resulting in deaths. But I think it was inhumane to not devise a better way for those patients to see their family in a safe, controlled environment. No one cared at all about the harm of it all to those people and their families. There could have been a way.

Best of luck to you and be as optimistic as you possibly can. It's the only way to mentally cope with it.

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I told my mom a while back that I think dad died because of Covid. Covid itself didn't kill him but the restrictions and inability of family to visit sent him on a downward spiral.

AggieBiker said:

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Feel for you. My mom was in the same situation with dementia and in a nursing home from Oct 2019 to Oct 2020. She was 84.

Until March 2020 we could see her often and dad went every day. After that we mainly only saw her through windows and glass doors at the nursing home. Dad would go each day for the couple of minutes she was outside as she was transported for dialysis and give her some treats and snacks as she was entering or exiting the transport van. She was diagnosed as Covid + along the way with no symptoms as well and spent one week in a Covid only nursing home while she "recovered".

She had a stay in a specialty hospital where we saw her one person at a time for a couple of weeks and then back to the nursing home before another stay in a hospital for a leg wound where no visitors were allowed. From there she was back to the specialty hospital, this time without visitors allowed and placed on hospice in that facility after a few days.

The next time we saw her was when we were finally able to get transferred to a nice hospice facility in Dallas the day before she passed. She looked awful from the lack of care she had received in the final few weeks.

I know there was a lot of sickness spread in nursing homes with the initial wave with a lot of it resulting in deaths. But I think it was inhumane to not devise a better way for those patients to see their family in a safe, controlled environment. No one cared at all about the harm of it all to those people and their families. There could have been a way.

Best of luck to you and be as optimistic as you possibly can. It's the only way to mentally cope with it.

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Reading this makes me so angry. I'm sure you are still pissed...understatement!!

These nursing homes could get creative and come up with solutions that would allow people to see their family. Today I spoke with two people about this crappy place. I asked them the simple question. "What is the difference between my dad doing PT alone in his room with the therapist vs him walking down the hall and doing pt alone in the Pt area.? At least that would get him out of his room" I kid you not the first nurse literally just stared at me for 30 pregnant seconds and said I don't know I'll relay your concern to the the admin. Next another lady in charge of the cna's came to talk to me and I asked her the same question and she said nursing homes are just not set up to handle an airborne illness because they all share the same ventilation system. Then the next thing she said contradicted that because she said it would be dangerous for my dad to walk down the hall because their is a covid positive patient in this wing. I said, but you just said we are all sharing the same air so what's the difference? Why can't my dad walk down that hall and do therapy alone by himself. She too acted like she had never thought of this and said she would get back to me.

The first step is you have to WANT to solve problems. It's much easier for them if they just lock people away in their rooms.

Flaith said:

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That's horrible. I would be on the phone with other treatment homes yesterday

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My mom has been operating under the understanding nobody will take my dad because he has Dementia with Lewy bodies and that is partially true. We were turned down by two places in Waco. I came back in town so my mom could go back to The Delaney in Waco. They told us they couldn't take him a month ago but agreed to take him yesterday. I don't know why the changed their mind, but I'm not asking questions. He's being transferred to the Delaney. Thank god.

I'm very sorry to hear about this.

It's a reminder, at least to me, that we all have an effect on each other whether we admit it or not. Many people said, and continue to say, that COVID only kills the elderly so we should just shelter them away and the rest of us should move on with our lives. But, as we can see here, attempting to shelter them away isn't without its consequences for both the individual and their family. This has been hard on the kids that can't go to school, just as it has been hard on the elderly that can't see those grand kids.

Yet we still continue to bicker about stupid things. It is depressing.

Again OP, I'm sorry. Unfortunately I have no solution. Society needs to get vaccinated so this thing turns into the common cold for everyone.

Call DADS and report it.