Why FISHING is better than SEX...


#20 - No matter how much whiskey you've had, you can still Fish.

#19 - A limp rod is still useful while Fishing.

#18 - You don't have to hide your Fishing magazines.

#17 - It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish with you once in a while.

#16 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything against Fishing.

#15 - If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you Fishing, you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous.

#14 - Your Fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you Fished with long ago.

#13 - It's perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.

#12 - When you see a person who is great at Fishing, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you Fishing together.

#11 - If your regular Fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you Fish with someone else.

#10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you Fish by yourself.

#9 - When dealing with a Fishing pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.

#8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy Fishing stuff.

#7 - You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell Fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to Fish with you without
getting sued for harassment.

#6 - There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases.

#5 - If you want to watch Fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.

#4 - Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.

#3 - Nobody expects you to give up Fishing if your partner loses interest in it.

#2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.

#1 - Your Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just Fished last week! Is Fishing all you ever think about?"

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General
Jokes, History, & Everything else...

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Fishing better than sex??????

What are you, GAY??????

But golf though.....mmmmmmmm.....yep its better.

fishing, golf and sex.

Why not have it all?

Play 36 holes, stop to wet a hook at each water hazard, and get oral each time you make the turn. Now THAT is a perfect day.



"Whether we bring our enemies to justice or bring justice to our enemies, justice will be done."

Pres. G.W. Bush, September 20, 2001

PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN


8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30 Weigh 5lbs. lighter than yesterday.
8:45 Breakfast in bed, squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00 Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs.
1:00 Shopping with friends.
3:00 Nap.
4:00 A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.
4:15 Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage.
5:30 Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
10:00 Hot shower. Alone.
10:30 Make love.
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.

A PERFECT DAY FOR A MAN

6:00 Alarm.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Massive dump while reading the sports section.
7:00 Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and tea.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Bloody Mary en route to airport
8:15 Private jet to Augusta Georgia.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.
11:30 Blowjob.
11:45 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:15 Blowjob.
12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.
2:15 Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
2:20 Blowjob.
2:30 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.
3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
4:15 Blowjob.
4:30 Catch world record light tackle marlin - 1249 lbs.
5:00 Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel.
7:00 Watch Sportscenter.
7:30 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon,20oz. New York strip.
9:00 Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45 Go to bed.
11:46 One last blowjob.
11:59 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.
12:00 Laugh yourself to sleep.

You forgot something:

1:45 pm: Tiger Woods concedes at 4 down with 3 to play. Offers to make good on his pre-match bet but you say "Nahh, I've already had three blowjobs today".