Question for those who are married: How do you structure your finances? My wife and I currently put both of our paychecks in the same account, then go from there. I am curious how others do it as I am looking for ideas that may better benefit us. We don't really budget much either, pay the bills first etc... then save what we can so if anyone wants to chime in on it as well.

Thanks

What is the question? should you have a joint checking account?

Do whatever works for you. There's no right or wrong financial structure. Well, the only wrong one is trying to hide money from each other. I'm a "one account" guy because I see no reason to hide our actions from one another. We aren't big gift people, so that's not a major issue.

One thing I would advise is to learn what money means to each of you, ie, what it represents. Finances aren't the number 1 fight because of the numbers - it's that our money speaks about something important to us and that gets offended in someway.

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We don't really budget much either, pay the bills first etc... then save what we can so if anyone wants to chime in on it as well.

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well, you can do this, and it might be ok for you. it will depend on your natural tendencies. For sure, if you don't measure it, you will lose something...but it might not be so bad based on how you live your life and you'r income levels.

We budget purely because we won't have any money if we dont.

Basically, I am looking for some type of systematic way to organize our finances. For example, My Uncle both bring in an income. It goes into one account. From there he gives her "Spending Money" for a set amount and she is in charge of certain things like groceries etc... He is in charge of managing the rest of the funds.

I know there are different ways that married couples work it out. I am just trying to find something that is more systematic and organized in a way that is not overly complicated.

Thanks Diehard

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For example, My Uncle both bring in an income. It goes into one account. From there he gives her "Spending Money" for a set amount and she is in charge of certain things like groceries etc... He is in charge of managing the rest of the funds.

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This is never bad strategy if you just don't want the same "discussion" over and over again about say...golfing with your buddies or something. And, I don't think it's a bad thing to setup structures that prevent stupid discussions from happening. It doesn't make you bad people in your relationships.

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Basically, I am looking for some type of systematic way to organize our finances. For example, My Uncle both bring in an income. It goes into one account. From there he gives her "Spending Money" for a set amount and she is in charge of certain things like groceries etc... He is in charge of managing the rest of the funds.

I know there are different ways that married couples work it out. I am just trying to find something that is more systematic and organized in a way that is not overly complicated.

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When I was watching every penny years ago (and to a lesser extent now), I created a budget. I looked for opportunities in every item to reduce expenses. I tried to determine fixed cost (mortgage, etc), then in the variable cost items we came up with a budget or spending limit. I used to give my wife cash each month for those items and when the cash ran out, she was done for the month. This was to avoid the trap of a credit card. As long as you manage your finances, it doesn't matter if your checking is in a joint or separate account. When you budget make sure you put X % in savings every month. In my case, we also tithe to our Church each month.. so the savings and tithe are untouchable.
When trying to manage personal finances on a budget, it seems that the credit card is the biggest nemesis.

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...For example, My Uncle both bring in an income. It goes into one account. From there he gives her "Spending Money" for a set amount ...

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i told my wife she was getting a monetary allowance. she said ok, you're getting a ***** allowance.

We do something similar in that we have basically an allowance to spend on stuff like guns/hunting/etc for me and trips/nice purses/clothes/etc for her. All regular expenses and stuff come form our main joint account. I don't think we really need it anymore but she still likes having that separation. It was really beneficial in the beginning of the relationship because it's hard to track a lot of small purchases versus stuff like an elk hunt in Montana or girl's trip to Napa. It helps make everyone feel that it is fair and I enjoy getting the bonus points of saying oh no that can be from the main account or split it with the main account to give everything flexibility and be more fun.

I would hope the implication is that you BOTH are on a spending limit. It's just understood that one who is looking at the big picture understands to stay within theirs.

^ Of course

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try mint

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second this. link your accounts, track your spending over several months and go from there. There are some that enjoy identifying a lot of buckets (groceries, cable, electricity, etc) but I prefer one single bucket for spending. After dropping everything into spending for several months I had a good idea of how much we spend and set a spending budget target for each month. The target is also significantly less than our monthly income so I have some buffer however, everything not spent is extra savings and or investments.

eating out is probably the single largest controllable expense.

For us, we only have one income, but it wouldn't be much different if we had two.

This is what works for us -
Come up with a sensible total you want to spend for each month.
Auto deposit paychecks into online savings account (for us, this is Amex Personal Savings)
First of the month, have a recurring withdrawal set up to move that "sensible" amount of money from savings to checking. We make sure we keep enough of a cushion for surprises and stuff.

Main reason we're trying this out is so that things like raises, one time bonuses, etc. don't impact our normal spending habits unless we make the decision to use them for a specific total. I've found that leaving all of the money in the account leads to our spending changing depending on what that balance is and that can be really tricky at times.

I agree with somebody else that it really depends on your personal spending habits. Some folks could never budget, keep everything in one account and probably end up saving enough to retire young with tons of cash. Others will need tons of process in place to help curb their spending habits.

The biggest issue we have is that my wife tends to stay out of the financial side of things (by her choice) which leaves me with the ability to purchase things knowing she'll have no idea how stupid a purchase it was I'm trying to get her to keep up with it for accountability purposes, but we'll see.

In the end, I'd do whatever you could to make sure you live based on what you've decided is the appropriate amount as opposed to what your pay happens to be at that moment (though I understand one definitely impacts the other).

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Main reason we're trying this out is so that things like raises, one time bonuses, etc. don't impact our normal spending habits unless we make the decision to use them for a specific total. I've found that leaving all of the money in the account leads to our spending changing depending on what that balance is and that can be really tricky at times.

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Your plan is not bad, but YNAB is a cool tool for this. it's designed to move your head from account balances to budget figures. it's expensive normally ($60), but comes with a month trial and is usually available for $15 close to Christmas via Steam.

We tried YNAB but it ended up being a game of musical categories. If we ran out of grocery money we would say, "we'll just pull it from Christmas funds etc... It was a constant pain to try to keep up with all of the moving money around.

We have YNAB actually. I've been a huge advocate of it for 4+ years. That said, we obviously still end up going over, typically because we convince ourselves things are unique situations that really aren't. Not over our total budget but over our target spending.

100% agree on YNAB, but our issue is more behavioral than awareness which is why the extra account can help.

My wife and I both work. All money goes to the main checking account. From there, pay bills and such. We buy things that are needed (food, insurance, etc.) We take out cash each month, split evenly and that is our "no questions asked" fund. Bigger things usually we talk about it before going forward. But I have tracked expenses before/after wedding, so I knew what we normally spent.

We usually talk every 6 months about spending and what has increased/decreased and what needs to change (if needed). A lot of times if things are getting better (spending less), I'll kick up savings without telling. Then later admit that we are doing better and might be able to fund a project (small home upgrade, etc.) But if things turn south, the savings can be released and not worry about it.

But I do everything via excel, on a handmade sheet from bank/online files.

~egon

we always had separate bank accounts. but finances were never an issue, we just split bills up between us and it was fine.

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We tried YNAB but it ended up being a game of musical categories. If we ran out of grocery money we would say, "we'll just pull it from Christmas funds etc... It was a constant pain to try to keep up with all of the moving money around.

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that's kinda the point...just show you where you need to adjust your budget.

But, I agree that a tool is just a tool...if it doesn't work for you, find a better one!

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we always had separate bank accounts. but finances were never an issue, we just split bills up between us and it was fine.

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Pretty much this for us too. I manage my cash flow overall, but I've never been one to want to make a specific budget and stick to it. We both think reasonably and don't spend too extravagantly. We're both naturally conservative fiscally. That said, I couldn't tell you how much she spends in a month. I only know what her paychecks are because I do her taxes.

Do yall just rotate who pays for what...or set aside similar cost items to be split...or does someone pay for most everything and someone else pays them back?

Note: for anyone who does the separate income/bank account thing. No judgement meant either. Just curious, and it might benefit the OP if he/she goes route.

One income, one checking account. We're both smart and not trying to hide anything. Neither of us spend frivolously* on things we want or aren't necessary. Whenever I notice an uptick in her spending (recently bought $1,000+ in various duvets, sheets, comforters) I'll mention it, but it is rare.

My frivolous spending is on guns and gun stuff. I see it more as transferring money from 'cash' to a tangible item, I still own it and it retains most of its value (or will increase dramatically when Hilary is elected).

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Do yall just rotate who pays for what...or set aside similar cost items to be split...or does someone pay for most everything and someone else pays them back?

Note: for anyone who does the separate income/bank account thing. No judgement meant either. Just curious, and it might benefit the OP if he/she goes route.

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no... no sense in paying each other back really, it all comes out of the same collective pot. I made more, so I footed more of the bills and expenses.

The seperate account/ bill splittng idea is interesting and something I could see us doing but how to split everything up would be the main concern. I think I might look more into this and present this idea to my wife.

I am thinking that we would both have a savings requirement with both of our incomes as welll.

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...For example, My Uncle both bring in an income. It goes into one account. From there he gives her "Spending Money" for a set amount ...

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i told my wife she was getting a monetary allowance. she said ok, you're getting a ***** allowance.

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That would be nice....

I think the simple answer is don't get married.

Mrs. Malibu successfully argued that it's more expensive being a woman. Clothes, hair cuts, make up, etc just cost more. She gets more H&B budget money than me as a result. In exchange, I have exclusive control of the thermostat.

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Mrs. Malibu successfully argued that it's more expensive being a woman. Clothes, hair cuts, make up, etc just cost more.

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does that stuff really cost more than ATV's, guns, golf clubs, etc?

Shared account and complete transparency / accountability. Both work at the moment and we decide together on most things.

Works great for us!

This is kinda cheesy but we created our family values and then created our budget to reflect those values. Sports/hobbies in our opinion are critical parts to a fully lived life, so we have a separate budget for her marathon training (yoga classes, massages, shoes, race fees) and my astronomy interests.

H&B budget (hookers and blow for those that don't TexAgs frequently) are for things that are non-essential or just totally frivolous.

Two incomes, one account. Save first so we never see it and then everything else goes on the credit card so there is transparency to the purchases and points.

Neither of us are big spenders, so it works for us.

Whats the main purpose of two accounts and splitting bills if you're married? Genuinely curious.