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The Legend of the Listeater - Your One Stop For Listeating Lore

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This is a phenomomena that is worthy of documentation. Worthy news is that the battalion has been contacted, is running a story that is in copy right now, and they are trying to update the article with facts such as
thefacebook.com groups ("Ags Against Listeaters" and "A&M List Eater Haters" plus listservs are springing up around the topic, and they also didn't know that Coach Fran offered Listeater donuts with the advice to eat donuts instead.

PLEASE do NOT post any pictures of listeater, to preserve her anonymity and to keep this thread alive.

KBTX News Report

KBTX Video Feed

Suspected sale of tickets by Listeater on ebay.

Choice tidbits thus far are:

Bud Light presents real American heroes
(real American heroes)
Today we salute you, Ms. 2005 Cotton Bowl Student Ticket Listeater
(Ms. 2005 Cotton Bowl Student Ticket Listeater)
you stand your ground against the angry masses to get your tickets, because deep down you know you are right
(right with god...oh yeah...right with god)
carefully you stuffed that list in your mouth as if it was coated with chocolate frosting
(you could have had a donut)
As others looked on in sheer horror and amazement, you swallowed hard and ruined nights of dedication
(all girls should swallow)
And even though you a carry a few extra pounds, you tossed those concerns aside and devoured that slice of paper fiber goodness
(bring on Kobayashi)
so crack open an ice cold Bud Light Ms. 2005 Cotton Bowl Student Ticket Listeater, because thanks to you ticket window eight will now forever be remembered as ticket window "ate"
(Ms. 2005 Cotton Bowl Student Ticket Listeater)


New Freebirds Marketing Craze: Save a List - Eat a Monster!


From: "I did the job you sent me to do."

Jessep: You want the list?

Kaffee: I think I'm entitled to it.

Jessep: You want the list?

Kaffee: I want the list!

Jessep: You can't handle the list! Son, we live in a world that has lists. And those lists have to be devoured

by fatties that eat. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can

possibly fathom. You weep for the list and you curse the fatties. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of

not knowing what I know: that the list's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while

grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places

you don't talk about at parties, you want me to eat that list. You need me to eat that list.
We use words like honor, code, loyalty...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending

something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man

who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I

provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a list

and eat it. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!

Kaffee: Did you eat the list?

Jessep: I did the job you sent me to do.

Kaffee: Did you eat the list?

Jessep: You're ******* right I did!!


Testimonial #1:
My friend and I arrived at 6am, most people were still asleep in their tents. A group of about 40 people were

starting to line up in front of the ticket box office. Two or three guys were walking around with lists full

of names, all having signed up days or hours ago. They were trying to organize everyone and get them in their

correct spots. The lists were extremely long, having over 80 names on them. There were 6 lists because there

were 6 ticket windows. The crowd and lines are starting to get longer as people wake up and come try to find

their place in line. People are tired, cold, and bored from standing in line when all of a sudden loud noises

come from the line of people at the very left. One guy comes storming over to the right side of the crowd,

screaming,"That fat b**** ate the list for row 8!" The crowd went crazy, people trying to see who the girl was

and if she had really eaten the list. A few minutes later, the event proved true.

The crowd of people in line 8 were very upset, screaming and yelling at each other because now nobody knew who

went where. The "paper girl" as most people started calling her, stood firm in her spot, she was not going to

move and was at the very front of line 8. Her obese boyfriend stood by her side not saying much. One of her

friends even stood up on a chair and tried to justify her friends actions. The crowd started yelling at her

friend, making fun of her and telling her to sit down.People told her to go work for Enron, they could use

someone to eat their papers. Bags of kolaches and bisquits were being passed around, and several people

starting throwing them at the "paper girl", telling her if she was so hungry to eat this! It was quite

amusing, because it provided relief from the bordem and cold.

Coach Fran and his wife soon arrived to hand out doughnuts and thank the crowd for being here. A few people

told him what happened and he walked over to Kirstie Alley and said as he was handing her a doughnut, "Eat

doughnuts, not paper." There were rumours that the girl was crying, but nobody cared. If she was brave enough

to ruin hundreds of peoples chances for tickets, then she could handle the ridicule from the crowd. The local

tv news crew also showed up, they swarmed around the girl making sure to get the story. A few guys even

started making up yells about the girl, like BTHO LISTEATERS!! and yelling "tow her a$$ out of here!" It was

all quite amusing. At 8 o'clock the windows open up and the crowd goes crazy. Everyone in line 8 was furious

because the Kirstie Alley had the privilege of being the first one to get her ticket! She was booed and hissed

at as she and her friends left. Nobody would let the story drop, it was brought up over and over again. The

girl just better watch her back while on campus.


Testimonial #2
well i decided to go campout with everyone else out in front of kyle field tuesday afternoon. I had a blast.

Candy 95 came out there and brought an assload of pizzas from pappa john's and coach fran and wife came out

there and took a roll call and a whole bunch of pictures. Well anyways it was nearing 5:30 am (i was asleep),

and i wake up and hear this guy talking behind our tent saying "Window 8, we need everyone that was on window

8 to come up to check in, some girl ate the list!"

At this point i jolted upright and though i had one of those extended dreams...but no, some fat ugly skanky

***** got in front of the ticket lines at 5 am and when we started to assemble to get in the official lines,

she said she waited for 2 hours! so she was NOT moving. Then she said the list wasnt university sanctioned and

she was "right with god" and SWALLOWED THE LIST. WHO DOES THAT!??! well i think the batt got a picture of her,

so if you see her on campus throw **** at her....i mean literal ****. like pretend you are a chimp at the zoo.

She deserves it.






[This message has been edited by firefountain (edited 12/9/2004 9:54p).]
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stupid images...
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nice synopsis!
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ALSO: When I talked with the battalion, they said they had an interview with listeater that will also be appearing tommorow.
Oh Four Five
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I thought the batt didn't run during finals
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you forgot the lost seinfeld episode

[This message has been edited by bmc13 (edited 12/9/2004 9:41p).]
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I like the shirt with Fran's quote

Maybe put it as:

"Eat donuts, not lists"

-- Coach Fran
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listeater = Chris Farley

Boy the mods are out tonight. Her pic lasted all of about 5 minutes.

[This message has been edited by austx (edited 12/9/2004 9:39p).]
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where can we get the coach fran says shirt?
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Eat Donuts, Not Lists.
- Coach Fran

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This whole buisness is crazy.
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"Ah, and she has power to shoot lists from her arse."
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Why do people think that those tickets on ebay are hers??
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