I'll start.

1). How do you know you're from Arkansas? Your mom has been in a fist fight at a sporting event.

2). How do you know when you're staying in an Arkansas hotel? When you call the front desk and say "I got a leak in my sink" and the employee says "Go right ahead!"

3). A guy walks into an Arkansas bar and orders a glass of white wine. One of the bubbas at the pool table walks over looking for trouble. He asks, "Where you from, mister?" The guy replies that he's from Austin. The rednecks in the bar all laugh, and the bubba says, "So what do you do there in Austin?" The guy answers, "Well I'm a taxidermist." The bubba says "What the hell does a taxidermist do?" The guy says, "I mount animals." The bubba smiles at him and says to his friends "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"

Foreplay in Arkansas = "hey sis, turn over...."

Arkansas! Where the men are men, and the goats are nervous!

Chad morris

It's kind of an Aggie joke too tho

What do Razorbacks do on Halloween?
Pump kin!

What's the first thing a 16 yr old, from Arkansas, says after sex?
Get off me Pa you're crushing my Copenhagen!


What is an Arkansas virgin?
A girl who can run faster than her brothers.

An Arkansas Razorback called the Sheriff about some unusual footprints on their property.....never seen any like that. The Sheriff says what the hell, it somebody wearing shoes.

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas? If it wasn't it would have been called the teethbrush

A man and a women get married in Arkansas. They move to California and get divorced.

Are they still legally brother and sister?

Bill Clinton shows up to Air Force One with a pig under each arm.

The Marine sergeant, salutes him and shouts: "Nice pigs, sir"

Clinton looks at him and says: "I'll have you know these are genuine Arkansas razorbacks! I got one for Chelsea and one for Hillary. What do you think about that?"

The sergeant salutes again and shouts: "Nice trade, sir."

How do you circumcise an Arkansas boy?

Kick his sister in the teeth.

A hillbilly from Arkansas comes home one day, and his wife is sitting on the porch with her bags packed.

He says, "Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm leaving you", she says.

"What the hell for?", he asks.

"I heard you were a pedophile", she replies.

"That's an awful big word for a 12 year-old!"

What do you get when you cross a razorback and a longhorn?

Nothin. There's some things even a pig won't do.

agent-maroon said:

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What do you get when you cross a razorback and a longhorn?

Nothin. There's some things even a pig won't do.

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We would have also accepted "a gamey cheeseburger".

It was a bitter cold day in Little Rock on December 6, 1975 when the Number 2 ranked Texas Aggies rolled into War Memorial Stadium to play the Number 18 ranked Arkansas Razorbacks.

The Razorbacks were getting the better of the Aggies when halftime rolled around. Broyles brought his team into the locker room and knew he needed to keep the momentum going into the second half in order to defeat the second ranked Aggies. He addressed his team with an emotional speech of, "You've got to keep fighting and playing until the whistle blows!!! You've got to play through the pain as they hurt as well!!! You've got to block out the elements, they're cold too!!!"

He stops and stares down his players, making eye contact with all of them. He then pulls his zipper down and reaches into his pants and pulls his man-parts out. He then reaches into a shoe box, opens the lid, and pulls out a two-foot baby alligator. He puts it up to his man-parts, pokes the alligator's eyes, and the alligator opens its mouth. He then puts the alligator up to his man-parts. He pokes the alligator's eyes again and the alligator snaps its mouth shut on his man-parts.

Broyles begins to pull the alligator by the tail, he shakes and gyrates his hips left to right, right to left, up and down... Blood splatters on the players closest to him, causing them to move back. He does this for a good five minutes staring out to his team with no sign of pain or discomfort, with every player in shock and disbelief, wide eyed and mouth ajar.

He suddenly stops pulling the alligator's tail, shaking and gyrating his hips, with blood dripping from his crotch. He reaches down and pokes the alligator in the eyes with the alligator opening its mouth, releasing his man-parts. He moves the alligator away from him and pokes the alligator in the eyes again, to make him shut its mouth. He then puts the alligator back into the shoe box, and while staring calmly at his players, puts his man-parts back into his pants and zips his fly closed.

He's staring at all of the players and calmly says, "Are any of you tough enough to do that?"

Silence takes over the locker room.

Then a walk-on kicker in the back of the locker room, nervously raises his hand saying, "Yes, coach, as long as you don't poke me in the eyes."

And that's, how Arkansas beat the Agz.

Boy, from Ark, tells his sister that her sex is better than moms . . She tells him "that's wha daddy says . .

I understand the first toothbrush was actually invented in Arkansas.

You can tell because if it was invented anywhere else, they would have called it a teethbrush.

Why do folks from Arkansas only have sex doggie-style?

So they can both watch wrestling on TV.

Ol Rock said:

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I understand the first toothbrush was actually invented in Arkansas.

You can tell because if it was invented anywhere else, they would have called it a teethbrush.

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It's so funny the joke had to be mentioned twice apparently

How do you get an Ark grad to leave your front porch?

Don't be stingy and just tip him well for the pizza. They need it.