1990 (from K. Fitz), Rock played too much golf so Rockelle went to the pro and asked for lessons. The pro asked to see her swing and then said she should hold on to the club like she'd hold on to Rock's manlyhood. She comes back the next week and the pro asks her to drive one to see her progress. She hits it 280 and the pro says that's pretty good but next time take the club out of your mouth.

That is pretty classic. Just spit my drink all over the computer....again.

And that's exactly what we're gonna do to 'em Ags!!

I don't remember it exactly, but something along the lines of three opposing teams (pick your favorites) went down to hell. Then they each had to choose a room to be in or something... I should apologize right now because I don't remember it so this just sounds stupid. Anyway, the punch line is that the team we played sees a room where people are standing knee-deep in feces and are drinking coffee... The mascot says "well, this is the best of my choices, I'll take this room" or something. Then Satan says "Ok, break's over, back on your heads."

Note to self: Learn story before trying to recite it.

It's been a while since I've been to a Midnight Yell..... have the grode stories tamed down a bit or are they getting more raunchy...? In the 70's they were pretty raunchy (even by today's standards).....

The story in which Rock (with his buddy Tim) has to compose a poem using the word "Timbuktu" in it. I can only remember the last line -

"I bucked one and Timbuktu."

[This message has been edited by SteelgtrAg (edited 8/14/2003 1:57p).]

Rock is driving his girl to the Motel 6 after their date. They find a baby skunk by the side of the road, and the girl makes Rock take it with them. They get to the motel, get nekkid, and start fooling around. The girl notices that the baby skunk is cold and shivering. Rock suggests that they put the skunk under the covers with them. She whines, "But Rock, it stinks". He replies, "Well then hold it's little nose".

There was one last year about Rock buying some condoms and having the exact amount of money he needed. Then the sales person rang up a higher price than he expected and said "that includes tax" so Rock said "tacks? I thought these things held themselves on!"

That's about the raunchiest I can remember of late.

Rockelle is getting ready for her date with Rock and her Mama is telling her "ladies don't ever eat on a date ... they have to show a modest appetite". So Rockelle, knowing she loves to eat loads up on Taco Bell prior to her date. Well that 'Bell food starts to work on poor Rockelle just as she's answering Rock's knock on the door. So she holds it in all the way to Rock's car, but has to let out a big ole' loud, stinky floater after Rock closes the door and starts around to the other side. When Rock gets in the car, he says "Rockelle, I want to introduce you to my bud and his girl back there in the back seat who are double-dating with us tonight..."

------------------
"I finally started to realize it's really not about me or it's really not about football. Life's really not about you, it's about Christ. If it wasn't for Him, all this would be taken from me-football and my life, it could be taken from me if it wasn't for Him. I just know that's the first priority in my life."
-- Samuel J. Davis

Don't remeber the stories, but here are some favorite punchlines:

"That's all well and good Rock, but they towed your car away 2 hours ago."

"What happened to the pickle slicer? Well, they fired her too!"

"Yeah, but from here its a local call."

"Coach, it was a trick, there was 2 of them."

"First I told him I had a bigger one than he did, then I showed him."

"No, but you got close enough I got him with the gas can!!"

"So Rock opened the beer, shot the t-sip and the Red Raider and said "It just doesn't get any better than this.""

This one goes way back, No girls and just before the FT Worth corps trip, some time in the late 50’s. It was told by “Pinkey” Downs in the old Grove.

The Aggies were getting ready to go on a corps trip to Ft Worth and the President of A&M gets a call from the president of TWU. She tells him that during the last trip to the area the Aggies took far to many liberties with her girls. She went on to say that this time it was going to be different, her girls now had it up here (Pinkey pointed to his head), That don’t matter said the A&M president where ever they have it, my Aggies can find it.

There was one at the itt yell practice last year about pirates that was pretty funny. Does anyone remember it? All I remember was there were several opposing "pirate" ships that came after tt's ship. The funniest part was when the 'sips ship came up and the yell leader said,"and you know nobody likes those kind of pirates".

"Roll out more hose!!"

All I remember is the one about building a wall around Austin and filling it up with water.. They use that one too much.

I don't remeber the year, sometime from 91-94, but this is the best one I remember.

Rock was bragging to his buddies that everytime he goes to the bathroom at night God turns the light on for him. Well his buds didn't believe him so they asked Rockelle if Rock's story was true. Rockelle turns to his buddies and says "Damn, I wish Rock would quit pi**ing in the refrigerator!"

"...so Rock says to the train engineer, 'I was coming and you were coming, but you were the only one who could stop."

I like the one where Rock is telling his dad that he wants to marry the virgin from Louisiana and his dad says, if she is not good enough for her own family, she sure is not good enough for ours.

During an afternoon round of golf, Rock is forced to rush Rockell to the hospital due to several serious bee stings.

Upon arrival at the hospital, the Emergency Room Doc asks Rockell what happened. She answers "After hitting a nice par putt...I was stung between the first and second holes.

The doctor replied .... "Well I can treat the bee sting easily enough but it really sounds like you need to tighten up you stance."

Rock and a sip male cheerleader were lost in the desert, riding a camel, about to expire from thirst. Finally they come upon an oasis. Rock and the sip jump in the water & drink but the camel won't touch the water. So Rock suggests they force the camel to drink. Rock holds the camel's mouth in the water while the sip sucks from the back end. After a minute, Rock asks if he's getting water and the sip says "no...hold his head up off the bottom...all I'm getting is mud". And tomorrow the sips are gonna suck more than mud...

Good bull.

too funny...had to send the thread back to the top...

The story SteelgtrAg referred to is my favorite:

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Harvard graduate from an upper-crust family; well-bred, well-connected and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a good ol' boy from Texas A & M.

The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word “Timbuktu.”

The Harvard graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:

"Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination --Timbuktu.”

The audience went wild! How, they wondered, could the Aggie could top that?!

The clock started again and the Aggie sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:

“Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three girls in a pop-up tent.
They were many, we were few
So I bucked one and Timbuktu”

So the guy in charge of ringing Albritton bell tower dies and Rock is interviewing people to take his place. A guy with no arms shows up and says "The bell ringer was my brother, I want to take his place." Rock says, You can't ring the bell, you don't have any arms. The guy replies that he certainly can, and asks Rock to watch him. So they climb to the top of the bell tower and the armless guy takes off running and rams his head into the bell, ringing it louder than ever before. Rock says, that is impressive, if you can do that again you have the job. So the armless guy takes off running at the bell but misses, slips and falls off the top of the bell tower to his death. Rock runs down there and a coed walking by says, oh my gosh, who is that? Rock says "I don't know but he is a dead ringer for his brother."

Rock and his new bride Rockelle decide to call their love-making, "doing the wash". If they're at parties, church or whatever and feel the need, one would say, "Honey, we need to go home and 'do the wash'". One night Rockelle wakes up and the sheet on Rock's side of the bed are going up and down very fast. She asks, "Rock what you doing?". Very embarrased Rock answers that he's "doing the wash". Rockelle starts crying and says, "Oh Rock, I thought we always did the wash together." Rock replies, "well normally yes, but this was such a small load, I thought I'd do it by hand!"

Rockelle and little rock go to the zoo. They go past the monkees, the birds, the giraffes, and then come to the elephants (whoop!). Little rock asks his mom, "What's that big thing hanging down from that there elephant?"

"Well, that's his trunk," mom replies.

"No, mom, what's that big thing hanging down in the back?"

"That's his tail," Rockelle says.

"No. no. What's that thing hanging down in the middle?"

"Oh," she says, "That's nothing."

About two weeks later, Rock takes little rock back to the zoo. They go past all the animals again and stop at the elephants. Little rock asks his dad, "Dad, what's that big thing hanging down from that there elephant?"

"Well, son, that's his trunk."

Seeing where this might head, little rock steps up and says, "No, dad. What's that big thing hanging down in the back of the elephant, and I don't mean the tail. I asked mom last time and she said it was nothing."

"well," rock replied. "Your momma's spoiled."

[This message has been edited by aggiebrad94 (edited 8/15/2003 10:41a).]

Ark Ag - when did you hear this one. I heard it back in 1970 or so although I don't remember Rock being there - I think it was someone else.

quote:

---

"...so Rock says to the train engineer, 'I was coming and you were coming, but you were the only one who could stop."

---