My 13 year old is really struggling to get to sleep at night. I'll try and provide as much relevant data as I can, but please let me know if you have any questions and/or suggestions.

- Eats a decent dinner at a normal time most nights (630)
- Gets off screens around 8/830 (though we may be bumping this earlier)
- Showers when he's off screens
- Chills with parents until 9/930
- Goes to room and will turn on a calm sleep story / music

On many nights (maybe 4-5 days per week), he says he's up until after midnight laying in bed (this morning, he thinks it may have been 2am!), and we have to be out the door for school NLT 8am. His mind stays real busy; I'm biased but he's a smart kid (like his mom!), so I can empathize with how he feels. Last night, for instance, he said he had music constantly going through his head.

We've been trying magnesium and melatonin without much luck.

Any ideas on how to help? It seems he's too young for a sleep study and is otherwise a healthy, active kid.

We just started Valerian root for my teen on recommendation from his doctor.

How does he do in the mornings?

This was my first question. Also, is he on any kind of medication?

I have this problem too. Sometimes I will stay up the entire night, no sleep and its either a repetitive task I am thinking of (that I have to do for work tomorrow, maybe) or the same like 20 second clip of a song. The whole night, over and over.

Sometimes I will wake up from sleep at 2 or 3 AM and not be able to go to sleep because of the same issue, song in head or thinking about some excel spreadsheet problem.

Happens about twice a month and I usually chalk it up to anxiety.

Have you tried having him listen to white noise or a deep sleep spotify playlist? Sometimes that helps me turn off my brain. It's hit or miss, though.

I empathize with him because after waking up feeling unrested, the rest of the day is a real drag.

One thing they do say is if you cant sleep, dont stay in bed, get up and do something. Sometimes Ill try and clean the kitchen or just declutter the living room, pick up blankets, socks, kids stuff, whatever. Maybe try to read a little bit of book.

How quiet is his room? I can't sleep if it's too quiet, I need a fan going. When I travel I try to bring a small one otherwise I can't sleep.

My 10 year old son had the same problem. Usually happens on Sunday nights, when he's thinking about school the next day. He always says he has a song stuck in his head, or he's thinking about something g that he can't get his mind off. What helps is the white noise fan, melatonin, and he will read a novel, that's kinda boring, and he eventually dozes off. My son has ADHD which causes the brain to not shut down.

I'm quite a bit older but what helps me is
-keeping the room cold, like mid to low 60s
-don't work out in the evening
-take a warm shower, that helps the body cool off
-reading a real paper book, usually something non fiction and a little dry with a lightbulb that filters out blue light
-a Peloton sleep meditation class with the audio low

I would maybe look at doing some mindfulness or calming meditations before going to bed, then use another audio meditation or white noise when going to sleep. I have Sleep Pillow too and the rain one is great.

I went through a looong stretch of going to sleep at 10 and I would wake up at 2:30-3:30 on the regular. I've since embraced the early wake ups, but I go to bed at 7:30-8 every night. I still wake up early morning but I'm getting a good 7-8 hours a night.
Then when I wake up, I get my workout in, read and get some chores done. Then logged into work by 6:30-7am, log out at 4pm.

A book I would recommend too is "Why We Sleep". It helped me realize that my natural cycle is earlier. It might give some other insights to you too.

Lots of good suggestions here. I'd ask if there's anything he's worrying about. I had a night this past week where my brain couldn't turn off a work project. It was really frustrating.

Is he exercising at all? I remember sleeping like a baby on the days I was physically exhausted as a teen (two-a-days, etc).

Get the CBT-I Coach app and go through it. There isn't really any reason to do a sleep test for insomnia, unless you are hearing him snore loudly, or if he is obese or has very large tonsils. Does he take ADHD meds?

Valerian root, GABA, and L-theanine together works pretty well for over the counter natural route.

Could talk to a doctor about Ramelteon if you wanted to go the prescription route.

Reduce electronics and bump up physical play.

Don't take any meds. Eat and drink healthy. Do this for 3 weeks and see.

Good suggestions

I would stop melatonin

I second how much physical activity they get. My kids are so tired from football and track that they sometimes go to sleep at 6-8 pm ( if no schoolwork) and wake up at 5 am as practice starts at 6. I know I sleep better when I've exercised hard.

Good job on the sleep hygiene, he is already doing better than most teens.

Melatonin is fine but it should be given 90 minutes prior to sleep time.

Does he have anxiety? What is keeping him up is it his brain or legs? If legs get a ferritin level to evaluate for potential restless leg. If that sounds like his issue needs iron and weighted blanket.

If it is his brain consider anxiety treatment with CBT as mentioned above.

Can consider giving 25-50mg of benadryl but that may give a hang over and it loses efficacy over time.

This is an extremely common issue for 13 year olds.

Sounds like some anxiety possibly.

Have you tried a weighted blanket? Some people love those and some people hate them.

Hoosegow said:

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Caffeine intake? If any, take him off.

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Or at least no caffeine after 1-2 pm. it can take 8-13 hours for caffeine to leave the body. If he is drinking sodas or coffee/energy drinks throughout the day, that could be an issue...

I 2nd the weight training advice. It's safe for 13 year olds and will help him expend energy/lower stress etc. Just no energy drinks after 2pm for his preworkout beverage.