Hi Adam,
Thanks for sending us a quick note via our Contact page. We are so happy you take pride in decorating your own yard. These days there are so many people that don't get...(or get into)...the Halloween spirit. We are also sure your family is proud and enjoyed the experience of decorating with you. It is for those unfortunate souls that wander the Earth that have no understanding how wonderful it is to decorate that we are trying to reach and share the spirit of Halloween.
We placed our flyer in your driveway NOT to insinuate that you don't know how to decorate your yard, but in case you might find our services helpful -- perhaps to complement your own decor this year or possibly to assist you next year in case you are too busy or incapacitated and unable to decorate your own yard due to illness or accident.
Or maybe it was to let you know (as a kindred spirit of sorts) of our company's existence so that perhaps you might enjoy what we bring to this awesome holiday or to even share some ideas. On the other hand, it was possibly out of RESPECT that we placed our flyer in your driveway after seeing what you had accomplished.
Who knows? It's quite possible that our highly paid and highly motivated driver made a mistake and threw a flyer in your driveway not realizing there was no way in Hell that you would purchase a package from us since you (proudly) decorated your own yard. If you'd like to give us your address, we could determine which driver was the culprit and fire them immediately. Of course, this could be extremely devastating to his psyche and could have incomprehensible and irreparable repercussions. We would hate to turn on the news and hear some recently divorced (and unemployed) member of society took his own life (and perhaps a few others) due to some customer complaint regarding a flyer.
We understand our advertising technique is unorthodox, but the same can be said for our company. Quick question: is it that our flyer was placed in your driveway and not on your door that you are sending us your request to be not included in future advertising endeavors? Do you send emails to the Chinese restaurants, lawn-care providers, maid-cleaning services,and the like that place flyers on your door? How about junk mail in your mailbox? Do you send emails (or snail mail) to those businesses as well? Speaking of junk mail, what about your email account? Do you email everyone in your Junk Folder to not send you their emails, like the relative of some Nigerian prince that needs your help to retrieve his 35 million dollars, or Cialis, Viagra and Extenz companies, or car/life/home insurance companies, or 1-800-HOT-GIRL companies?
We ask these questions to better understand what you are truly requesting. Was the bending over and picking up our flyer in your driveway anymore difficult than pulling the card from the door, fumbling through the flyers in your mailbox, or pressing "Delete" on the unwanted emails? If so, please let us know so that we can try to work together to resolve this issue.
Our team spent about an hour (after a long day's work mind you) on how to somehow achieve the goal of letting companies like ours be informed that people like you are not interested in their products and/or services, and we are PROUD to say that we believe we found a solution!
What if you put up some type of sign in your yard that instructs people to NOT throw advertising material in your driveway? Just to let you know, for a small fee we would be happy to supply you with such a sign.
Actually, we think this such a good idea, that we have decided to start a company that supplies these signs to the general public. So, unfortunately, expect in the next few short weeks for us to be throwing flyers with washers advertising signs that prevent people from throwing flyers with washers. But rest assured that we will properly instruct and train our drivers to NOT throw a flyer in a driveway that ALREADY has a sign. So if you act fast and construct your own sign (proudly of course) or buy from us directly, you will not bothered by another flyer in your driveway.
Looking forward to hearing from you again!
Halloween Decorators