The best Babylon Bee headline, ever, it can never be topped

2,897 Views | 20 Replies | Last: 9 mo ago by Deputy Travis Junior
japantiger
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2:36p, 1/4/24
S

New Star Wars Film To Feature Female Jedi Who Turns To The Dark Side At The Same Time Every Month

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0FPDEh6LyEW6ZMa5pM8jDwETeXReKdG1AUC7RJtS7Z33QJxzH12J5nxuvr1iddfuvl&id=100068812526352&mibextid=Nif5oz
“It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.”
Joseph Heller, Catch 22
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captkirk
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3:00p, 1/4/24
AG
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C@LAg
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3:03p, 1/4/24
i don't get it.

- Star Wars nerds
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ts5641
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3:03p, 1/4/24
They'll catch some with that, but funny.
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CDUB98
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3:12p, 1/4/24
AG
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annie88
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In reply to C@LAg • 3:19p, 1/4/24
AG
C@LAg said:
i don't get it.

- Star Wars nerds


He could be funny, or he could be stupid will never know.

Currently a happy listless vessel and deplorable. #FDEMS TRUMP 2024.
Fight Fight Fight.
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C@LAg
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3:21p, 1/4/24
it needs to be renamed womenstruating.

do not put that devil on us.
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Maroon Dawn
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3:24p, 1/4/24
AG
Could have just been"Disney gives first diverse woman 1 billion dollars to light on fire!
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Logos Stick
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3:26p, 1/4/24
DIS stock is the same price it was 10 years ago. I guess the company just doesn't care about profit and loss anymore with hires like this
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Maroon Dawn
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In reply to Logos Stick • 3:33p, 1/4/24
AG
Logos Stick said:
DIS stock is the same price it was 10 years ago. I guess the company just doesn't care about profit and loss anymore with hires like this


At this point I'm seriously believing they've somehow figured out a "Producers" way to actually profit off a flop and then they're like "find me an inexperienced diverse woman who hates our target audience and give them a billion dollars and full creative control of a beloved franchise to ruin it with wokeness, terrible writing, girl bossing, lazy race swaps and quips!"
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jograki
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3:39p, 1/4/24
AG
"Obaid-Chinoy said they did extensive research on why a lady Jedi might turn evil once a month and discovered that mostly it relates to the fact that fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, and suffering leads to women needing a little alone time, a good bar of chocolate, and a hot bath."
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tysker
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3:40p, 1/4/24
AG
Still a classic
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TexAgs91
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3:43p, 1/4/24
AG
No one is going to see her Star Wars film. I'm sure Disney knows this already but entertainment and profits isn't their priority.
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Rapier108
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In reply to TexAgs91 • 3:49p, 1/4/24
TexAgs91 said:
No one is going to see her Star Wars film. I'm sure Disney knows this already but entertainment and profits isn't their priority.
Star Wars nerds will go see anything with Star Wars in the title, no matter how bad.

It won't be close to enough to break even, much less make a profit.
"If you will not fight for right when you can easily win without blood shed; if you will not fight when your victory is sure and not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance of survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves." - Sir Winston Churchill
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BG Knocc Out
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3:49p, 1/4/24
Especially funny when you consider that the lady in that image is the one who said she "wants to make men uncomfortable" with her vision for the franchise. At least I think that's her. Seems like a grade-A bia-bia.
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TexAgs91
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In reply to Rapier108 • 3:59p, 1/4/24
AG
Rapier108 said:
TexAgs91 said:
No one is going to see her Star Wars film. I'm sure Disney knows this already but entertainment and profits isn't their priority.
Star Wars nerds will go see anything with Star Wars in the title, no matter how bad.

It won't be close to enough to break even, much less make a profit.
My son is done with it. He's the type of person who will see anything with Star Wars in the title. He recently was watching Star Wars Ahsoka. I guess it didn't go all that well. He says "I won't consider anything in Star Wars cannon unless it comes from George Lucas".

I'm pretty sure George is done with all that though
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Burdizzo
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In reply to C@LAg • 4:03p, 1/4/24
AG
C@LAg said:
i don't get it.

- Star Wars nerds



I guess we need someone to womansplain it to you.
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Get Off My Lawn
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In reply to Rapier108 • 4:07p, 1/4/24
Rapier108 said:
TexAgs91 said:
No one is going to see her Star Wars film. I'm sure Disney knows this already but entertainment and profits isn't their priority.
Star Wars nerds will go see anything with Star Wars in the title, no matter how bad.

It won't be close to enough to break even, much less make a profit.
This is where Tolkien nerds reign. Nobody watched Amazon's Rings of Profit. They smelled the subversion years in advance and never gave it even a chance at legitimacy.

The Star Wars fans fell for the graphics and action, which gave Disney a chance to milk their franchise while subverting it.
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deddog
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4:13p, 1/4/24
AG
My kids gave up on Marvel (both boys, way to know your audience) and stopped watching the Flash (TV series?) after they did a musical.

DIE is destroying every good thing there is.
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Urban Ag
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In reply to deddog • 4:25p, 1/4/24
AG
This. My boys were 7 and 10 when Force Awakens came out. They saw the new movies in the theater but haven't had any interest at all in it in years. They haven't watch any of the series on D+. They were also really in to the MCU but after Endgame that completely ended too.

If you can't get and hold the interest of tween and teenage boys, you're in big trouble.
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Deputy Travis Junior
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4:28p, 1/4/24
Not all female jedi menstruate, bigots

Seriously though, the bee had topped that like 3x in the last week. They've been fire with the Gay resignation
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