Here are excerpts from two letters sent by an LDS family to their friends and church leadership just a few months ago. The first is to their dear friends from the church.
www.exmormon.org/boards/w-agora/view.php?bn=exmobb_recovery&key=1189057101&newest=1189086317
What an amazing family!
Despite what they wrote in their correspondence to family and friends, the church has since started to tell people that this family was living a lifestyle unapproved by the church! Their friends know better!
Although I can get frustrated interacting with Mormons here who seem to close their eyes to the facts, people like this family give me hope for Mormons as a whole.
quote:And here is part of the attached letter to the Bishop:
Dear friends,
When someone leaves the church many questions arise and the rumors begin to fly. When that “someone” is an entire active, tithe paying, temple recommend holding family with a missionary in the field and they leave the church in one fell swoop, there is bound to be even more questions and confusion. The purpose of this communication is to allow you to opportunity (if you choose) to understand our reasons. You may not accept them, and we don’t expect you to, but we respect you enough to let you know directly the reasons for our departure.
Our family has been a part of the Salem __ Ward for 8 years and a part of the Salem Stake for over 13 years. We have had many good and positive associations with you. We have served each other, grown and progressed and shared our lives for many years. You have watched our lives change and our children grow up, we have watched your lives change and your children grow up as well. You are our friends; you are known to us and loved. Because of our respect and admiration for the good people you are, it is important for us to share with you personally our experience about why we have chosen to leave the church.
We have enclosed a copy of a letter we sent to Bishop _______ which outlines our reasons for leaving. If you are interested to know what happened to our family we invite you to read about our process. If you aren’t interested, please disregard. We just want to offer you to opportunity to know if you choose, directly from us.
Please know that we have been treated with the utmost regard and respect by the leadership of the church. We are grateful for that. It has been a very difficult and unexpected situation and the Bishop indicated he felt personal responsibility for failing our family. As we pondered our associations with you, we were concerned that some of you might also feel personal guilt or remorse because we have left. We send this letter with the intent to lay those fears to rest.
As in any family there are times when people don’t get along and toes get stepped on. We want you to know we understand that toe stepping goes both ways. Members of our family have certainly bruised some toes and we have had ours bruised as well. This is what happens in real families – be they our family of origin, our ward family, or any group we build community with. Understanding and misunderstanding are part of the process. We hurt; we heal; we move forward and learn more about ourselves, and others. It is still our belief that this is why we are here on earth - to experience, grow, learn – but mostly to love the way Jesus Christ does – without condition. And in the spirit of that love, we ask for forgiveness and offer forgiveness for any offenses between us.
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quote:You can read the rest here:
Dear _____,
We appreciate you stopping by last Sunday with the letter acknowledging our family’s request for removal from the records of the church. We understand this situation has been difficult for you, other leadership, and friends we’ve associated with over the years. It’s not easy for us either. Even though our decision seems to come suddenly from out of nowhere, it’s really been many months, even years, in the making. We have studied, pondered and prayed over various new insights and information that ultimately led to our decision to part ways with LDS doctrines.
In no way should you, or any other leader, or member feel any sorrow, regret or guilt over any action or lack of action on your parts. We are responsible for ourselves and our actions. This decision was prompted by our own thoughts and feelings resulting from our own investigation into the history and doctrines of the LDS church. There isn’t anything you could have done, and no discussion with you beforehand would have kept us in the LDS faith. Your expression of personal failure on behalf of our decision is most distressing to us. While we have no control over your feelings of failure and guilt, we hope this letter can help put your mind to rest. We will be forwarding copies of this letter to various leaders, as well as our closest friends and associates. We are taking this action to make it very clear to everyone that our reasons for leaving the LDS faith have been our own, and guilt, or feelings of failure on anyone’s part have no merit in this situation.
As we have taught in Relief Society and High Priests over the years, we have had the opportunity to study in depth and increase our knowledge of the history of the church. With Tyler entering the mission field we have strove even harder to study and develop our spiritual natures. During the course of our studies we have learned there are holes and problems with many things in church history and the church’s doctrinal stands, especially regarding Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon. These findings are significant because as Joseph Fielding Smith said, "Mormonism, as it is called, must stand or fall on the story of Joseph Smith. He was either a prophet of God, divinely called, properly appointed and commissioned, or he was one of the biggest frauds this world has ever seen. There is no middle ground." Doctrines of Salvation, Page 188.
There are the revised, whitewashed, sanitized teachings of the church we receive in meetings on Sunday and then there’s the REAL history of the church found in the Journal of Discourses, historical documents, journals, church records, newspapers etc. With the advent of the Internet, primary source information is available from a variety of reliable sources. Our information doesn’t come from anti-Mormon sources, but actual members of the LDS faith – noted historians and researchers who have (or had) access to historical documentation and are trying to educate the people of the church about their own history. Nothing has been more embarrassing and disturbing than to find out how much we didn’t know about the history of our own church. Indeed many non-members know more about our history than we as members do! The second most embarrassing and disturbing thing we found is the number of dedicated, seeking scholars and intellectuals who have been excommunicated for nothing more than revealing truth from the church’s very own documentation and records. These are a few reasons we began to study and learn for ourselves.
We would refer you to a website called www.mormonthink.com. This is a site produced by active members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who have callings and are in good standing, who are concerned about the historical accuracy of the church and how it is being taught to its members and portrayed in the media. It is true there is a lot of misinformation on the LDS church presented by both critics and defenders of the faith – particularly on the Internet. Mormon Think presents both sides fairly and invites the reader to decide.
The scope of this letter isn’t suited to explain every issue we have, but the above website has many details which may help you understand why we have taken the path we have. But here are a few things to offer explanation in the meantime.
- We were taught that Joseph Smith was visited by God and Jesus and have taught this in good faith to our children, and our son was teaching this to the people of North Carolina. Now we learn there are at least three additional contradictory Smith versions of the First Vision where only one angel appeared, or only the Lord appeared, or many angels appeared. If we were visited by Deity, it would make such an impression we would remember by whom and how many and tell the same story each time. The account of the First Vision currently taught by the church was the latest version revised and written by JS 18 years after it occurred. And if God and Jesus appeared to Joseph Smith and told him none of the churches were true and to join none of them, why did he join the Methodists? Why does the church teach a religious revival started in 1820, when it was actually 1823?
- In 1966 papyri were found at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City and authenticated to be the very scrolls Joseph Smith claimed to translate into the Book of Abraham. JS claimed these papyri were written by the hand of Abraham himself but Egyptian scholars have proven they are common Egyptian funeral papyri dated centuries after the time of Abraham. Why does the church hide this fact from its members and continue to claim the book is of divine origin?
- Why did Joseph Smith marry and have sex with 11 women who were married to other men at the same time, some of whom he married while the husbands were gone on missions where Smith sent them? Why did he marry young teenagers, including 14 year old Helen Mar Kimball, who had both parents and didn’t want to be married? Most of these are documented on the church’s own genealogy website at: www.familysearch.org (enter Joseph Smith, 1805 birth). Why did Smith practice polygamy in secret for 10 years before the D&C 132 ‘revelation’ which was to get Emma off his back? And why would God threaten to destroy a woman whose husband had been cheating on her and had broken her heart and soul?
- Why did the church teach us that polygamy was for the support of widows and surplus single women, when there was actually a shortage of women? If it was for support, then why didn’t Smith provide support for his 33+ wives? Why did General Authorities keep sealing new polygamous marriages for at least 16 years after Wilford Woodruff’s Manifesto? Why would ranking priesthood use their authority to take other men’s wives or fiancés on a whim and then send them on missions or hurt them if they refused to give them over?
- Many, who have searched extensively, can’t find any science supporting The Book of Mormon. Why is there no Israelite DNA evidence of Lamanites? Why does the morphology, anthropology, and archaeology all lead back to Siberia? The fact is that there is no Israelite DNA, only excuses for the lack thereof.
- There is concrete evidence of Mayans, Incas, Aztecs, Olmecs, Toltecs, Egyptians, Romans, Greeks, Norse in Greenland, and hundreds of other civilizations. Where is any evidence of the civilizations of millions of people in The Book of Mormon? As far as “someday science will find,” science has expanded exponentially, especially with ground-penetrating radar and aerial surveillance, but the increasing finds of science all contradict The Book of Mormon.
- In lake sediment cores, where are the durable pollen grains of wheat, barley, figs, grapes, or flax, or evidence of these plants mentioned in the Book of Mormon? Where is the evidence of metallurgy, steel swords or slag heaps, or coins and silk, chariots and wheels, or horses, elephants, asses, goats, sheep, pigs, and cows? Why is there impossible population growth in The Book of Mormon? Where is the geologic evidence of the physical upheavals in 3rd Nephi?
- Why are there hundreds of anachronisms? Why does The Book of Mormon quote Isaiah before Isaiah was written? Why does it mention the word Bible a millennia before the Bible even existed? Why has The Book of Mormon preserved the errors in the King James translation such as ‘virgin’ for ‘young woman’? Why is the Greek word ‘Christ’ used and not the Israelite word ‘Messiah’?
- Besides there being no evidence for things mentioned in The Book of Mormon, why does the book not mention things that really did exist in Mesoamerica, such as yams, beans, squash, llamas, sloths, jaguars, and monkeys? In the museums of South America there are thousands of artifacts of jaguars, monkeys, and llamas, but not a single horse, cow, elephant, or sheep.
- Why are core doctrines such as three degrees of glory, eternal family sealings, and baptisms for the dead not included in this “most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion”?
- Why have we never heard that Brigham Young preached Adam is God? (J.D. Vol. 1, p. 50) Or that BY said some people are so evil that Christ’s blood won’t atone for their sins and they must be killed and their own blood shed for their salvation? (J.D. Vol. 4, p. 215) Or that BY said a white man who marries a black should be killed on the spot according to the law of God and that it will always be that way? (J.D. Vol. 10, p. 104) Why does the church teach in the lesson manual that Brigham only had one wife and hides his 55 wives?
- Regarding our core belief and Snow’s couplet “As man is, God once was. As God is, man may become,” why did Gordon B. Hinckley say that “I don’t know that we teach it…”? Why did Hinckley say polygamy is “not doctrinal” when it is in D&C 132, will be practiced in the Celestial Kingdom, and is currently practiced in temple sealings? (Don Lattin, religion editor, interviewing GBH, San Francisco Chronicle, Apr. 13, 1997. Time Magazine, Aug 4, 1997) We have gone back to the original transcripts and he was not truthful. We have been taught the above things in church. We have taught them to our children. Why would Hinckley deny that we do believe these things?
- Why was the temple ceremony plagiarized from Masonry weeks after Smith became a Mason, and is not what was practiced in Solomon’s temple? And since Smith taught that temple covenants and ordinances are eternal and unchangeable, why have they been changed multiple times, including removal of the death oaths in 1990? When we look at the Mason ceremony next to the temple ceremony, especially before 1990, the similarities are too numerous to discount. We never wanted to be masons and participate in mason rituals. Why was an oath of vengeance against the nation placed in the temple ceremony by BY where it contributed to the slaughter of innocents at the Mountain Meadow Massacre?
When we discovered the depth and breadth of the falsehoods and deceptions the LDS church has foisted on us for over 30 years we could no longer remain. We explained these things to our children and watched our youngest two children cry for two days. “How can the church lie to us when they tell us to be honest?” That’s a very, very good question from little children. We’d like to know ourselves. The fact that our son was on a mission teaching these falsehoods was more than we could abide. We immediately booked a flight to go speak with him in North Carolina and let him know the changes occurring in our family.
Finding out that Tyler’s personal expense budget had been cut from $145 to $130 a month just that week was upsetting and made it all the easier to go see him in person, especially in light of the TWO BILLION DOLLAR mall expansion in SLC. When we arrived we saw he couldn’t afford more than basic foodstuffs and had no paper products or basic cleaning supplies in his apartment. (Why does Jesus Christ need a TWO BILLION DOLLAR mall?) We have since learned of an elder in California whose budget was cut from $120 to $100. He’s lost 30 pounds in six months. This is a travesty for young men whose families are paying for the privilege of giving two years of their lives. We feel that our tithing dollars have been misused and we wish we could get them back and donate to organizations that provide for the basic needs of God’s children around the world. Providing things like shelter, food, clean water and clothing to the needy should be the MAJOR mission of a church claiming to be “the TRUE church of Jesus Christ” - not spending BILLIONS to secure what smacks of dynastic real estate empires and corporate business. The church says, “No tithing was directly used.” The church is playing a shell game and tithe payers are the losers. Every dime they have is a result of the faithful tithes paid by members round the world, many who don’t have means for their basic needs but are required to pay anyway so they can be with their family forever.
When we arrived in North Carolina we spoke with Tyler of our concerns and told him we would like him to come home and study things out for himself. He was surprised by our visit but agreed to come home and study because he trusts us. He knows we would never embark on such a trip, or ask him to do something so unexpected and difficult without very good reasons to do so. There are many spiritual things that happened in the days before our visit that prepared Tyler to come home with us and we will share one. We had individually prayed without the other’s knowledge for him to receive a dream or witness that would allow him to feel peace with what was coming. He did have such a dream and it was very significant. He shared it with his companion in the hours before we arrived.
In our later discussions he told us that he was limited to reading only four books on his mission and forbidden to read Journal of Discourses. He said he was disappointed because he’d looked forward to in depth study on his mission hoping to strengthen his testimony. We would have been surprised about this information a couple months ago, but at this stage in our education about the church, we have found the J.D. to contain some of the most damning evidence against the unchanging nature of the gospel, the sacred calling of prophets and the restoration of anything remotely linked to Christ’s “One True” Church. It’s no wonder they don’t want people reading it, let alone missionaries!
_____, you might say we just need to have faith and that it can all be worked out at some future point. Faith cannot be sustained on falsehoods and deception. Faith is not sufficient when all tangible evidence contradicts the divine nature of the church. Thomas Edison said, "Faith, as well intentioned as it may be, must be built on facts, not fiction--faith in fiction is a damnable false hope." We understand sacrifice in the name of faith…we have made many in the name of faith. But truth should never be laid upon the altar of sacrifice. If truth is sacrificed what is left? We refuse to sacrifice truth. There has been a flood of evidence that has produced many honest questions by members of the church. We have learned of members asking these questions and receiving an audience from the leading authorities in the LDS church without receiving any meaningful answers or replies to their valid questions. We are asking these same questions but we have figured out the answers ourselves: Joseph Smith was not a prophet of God, he was a clever man and may have had inspiration at times, but he was not a mouthpiece for God. The Book of Mormon is a created fictional text with some merit but it is not “the most correct book on the face of the earth.” Plain and simple, if Joseph Smith was not a prophet and the Book of Mormon is his created fiction – the LDS church is not what it claims to be.
Our questioning has led us to new ways of relating to God and his true nature, an understanding of how inspiration and revelation truly works in the lives of individuals, and the real meaning of God’s power.
www.exmormon.org/boards/w-agora/view.php?bn=exmobb_recovery&key=1189057101&newest=1189086317
What an amazing family!
Despite what they wrote in their correspondence to family and friends, the church has since started to tell people that this family was living a lifestyle unapproved by the church! Their friends know better!
Although I can get frustrated interacting with Mormons here who seem to close their eyes to the facts, people like this family give me hope for Mormons as a whole.
