The Pope came to America for an appearance and while he was going to be here for an extended stay, the Vatican decided to provide him with a nice car and a chauffer. The Pope selected a really spiffy fast little sports car and on the first ride in it, he asked the driver,

"Can you go a little faster?"

The driver bumped it up by 10 mph, but the pope wasn't satified with that.

"Aw, come one! We're way out here in the country! Let's see what she can do! Floor it!"

At this, the driver demured and started talking about traffic laws and danger and the Pope became exasperated.

"O.K. I tell you what. Let me driver her for a little while. You go on and get in the backseat if you're so nervous."

Pretty soon the new sports car was zipping along the backroads highway at 100, 110, 120. And pretty soon they heard the sirens of a police car following close in the rear. So the Pope pulled over.

The policeman sauntered over and looked inside. Then he backed up and went to his patrol car to radio in to the station.

"UH....I tell ya', I don't know what to do with this one."

"Why? What's the matter?"

"Well, I've got somebody VERY important in this car."

"Is it the mayor?"

"Oh, no....he's way more important than that..."

"The governor?"

"Bigger"

"The President?"

"Bigger. Let's put it this way, " the policeman said, "he's got the Pope for His chauffer!"

awesome

A young man is thinking of becoming a Catholic priest, so he goes to talk to his pastor about the different religious orders. “What can you tell me about the Dominicans?” he asks.

“Oh, they were formed in the Thirteenth Century to combat the Albigensian heresy,” the priest replies.

“And the Jesuits?”

“They formed in the Sixteenth Century in response to the Protestant Reformation.”

The young man looks puzzled. “So what’s the big difference between them?”

“When was the last time you saw an Albigensian?”

"The Work of the Parish Priest"

During a Eucharistic Congress, a number of priests from different orders are gathered in a church for Vespers. While they are praying, a fuse blows and all the lights go out.

The Benedictines continue praying from memory, without missing a beat.

The Jesuits begin to discuss whether the blown fuse means they are dispensed from the obligation to pray Vespers.

The Franciscans compose a song of praise for God's gift of darkness.

The Dominicans revisit their ongoing debate on light as a signification of the transmission of divine knowledge.

The Carmelites fall into silence and slow, steady breathing.

The parish priest, who is hosting the others, goes to the basement and replaces the fuse.

Sts Dominic, Francis and Ignatius of Loyola are transported back in time and place to the Birth of Our Lord.

St Dominic, seeing the Incarnation of the Word, is sent into ecstasy.

St Francis, seeing God become a helpless child, is overcome with humility.

St Ignatius of Loyola takes St Joseph and Our Lady aside and asks "Have you given any thought to His education?"