My very first TexAgs post!

I'm curious about what others think concerning the practical Biblical application of the principle of honoring one's parents. Obviously, Jesus believed in it (Matthew 15:4-6), and Paul clearly taught it (Eph. 6:1-3). The principle was evidently very closely tied to the national stability of Israel, for it is the first of the "horizontal" or "fraternal" commandments (Exodus 20:12).

Here's my question: does anyone believe this principle still applies when there has been a history of abuse/neglect in the parent-child relationship? In what ways could an adult child "honor" such a parent? I'm not from that kind of background, but I wonder how I would "honor" someone like that. Any thoughts?

Here's my question: does anyone believe this principle still applies when there has been a history of abuse/neglect in the parent-child relationship? In what ways could an adult child "honor" such a parent? I'm not from that kind of background, but I wonder how I would "honor" someone like that. Any thoughts?

my opinion( as meager as it may seem) Reguardless of the upbringing I believe that children should always honor (respect) their parents. If for nothing else other than just bringing them into the world.

I tend to look at things a little differently. If this had been my family and I was brought up being abused and neglected I would be thankful. Thankful that my parents showed me how NOT to act and treat my future children. I try to look for the good in all situations and not focus on the bad. I always find some good in all things -even bad things.

I'm not sure if this exactly answered your question. I was attempting to show how you could still honor abusive parents.

I think if a parent has abused the child they have abandoned their parental roles, so respect is really not an issue anymore. Now if they can get out of the house, their new guardians take on that role.

Beat the heck outta t.u.
Beat the HELL outta TEXAS TECH!!!!!

How do you honor a parent who refuses to accept the authority of you in your household?

WOW.....it is so weird that you posted this thread. I have been thinking a lot about this particular subject for some time, only I thought it may have been a bit too personal.

I have struggled with this subject most of my life, in fact I find myself dealing with it even today. While extremely personal, I was abused as a child physically, mentally and emotionally. I struggled as a child to bring myself to a place where I could look at my mother with out anger & hatred (simply because I thought she hated me). Now as an adult I realize that in most cases abuse is learned, it can be unlearned and I agree completely with some of the other points made in this thread. I know now what a mom should look like and feel like. ANYWAY....I remember telling my mother as a young teenager that I didn't like her, but that I loved her because she was my mother and that I would respect her for that reason alone.

Now, being almost thirty years old and working diligently to become closer to God I have found in his word the perfect way to deal with the relationship (lack there of) with my mom.

Proverbs 4:23 says; Above all else,guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life...

God's word tells us to honor our mothers and fathers but it also tells us as Christians to guard our hearts......... this to make a point below.

While guarding our hearts from those who cause pain we have to strongly evaluate the relationships in our lives and the people we choose to share our time with.

The word states in Proverbs 27:17; As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Are the people in your life sharpening you or dulling you. This means mother, father, friend, sister, etc.? These two scriptures (at this point in my life) mean to me that I am to protect my heart from those who don't have my best interest at heart and those who aren't willing to love me unconditionally. Abuse in my thought is the lack of love and or the ability to show it. Abuse, regardless of what type is someone dulling you rather than sharpening you. When this happens to be a parent I think that removing yourself (by which ever means necessary) would be a good idea, I have had to do it even recently. Making the changes with-in yourself and establishing boundaries for yourself and the people in your life will make it easier to determine if Honoring your parents is meant to be done at a distance.

In conclusion.....Honoring your mother and father is at the foundation of who an individual grows into. I think it is a must. Learning how to do so in a way that is conducive with allowing God to work in your life, and grow you into the person He wants you to be is likely the most challenging part. I have struggled to seek my mothers approval all my life, I have finally discovered that seeking God's approval is more important.

Hope this helps you out.

Praying for the salvation of an abusive parent is a great way to obey God's command to us to honor our earthly parents.

I couldn't agree more! Well said.

quote:

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If this had been my family and I was brought up being abused and neglected I would be thankful. Thankful that my parents showed me how NOT to act and treat my future children

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Easy to say from your perspective. Somehow I think a person who was abused would be pretty offended by that statement. Don't pretend to know how you would act if your parents were that messed up.

Honor them or not I'd call child protective services.

There is a parenting program called, "Growing Kids God's Way."

The couple that teaches this study talk quite in-depth about such a situation.

They speak of the commandment to "honor your father and mother" as a commandment which must be obeyed regardless of the actions of your parents -- much like "love your enemies."

The difference is how you honor them. They teach that you honor them in a situation as you are speaking of out of duty. Things are provided to them as needed. Care is given. Obedience is given.

Honor to a "good" parent is done out of love. you seek out things to do for them above and beyond your duty.

That is the short explanation. If you are a parent and want a class on parenting, I highly recommend this program. It is an 18-week course but well worth the time.

On the flipside of 73's post, there is also an official and accepted teaching of the Church that it means even more than the earthly parents........

Honor thy Heavenly Father and Mother...........

God the Father, and our Lord's Mother, Mary, as he gave to us, via the Apostle and Gospel Writer John, while on the Cross.....In fact, it was his last Earthly Act of Love and Last Commandment:

The Gospel According to St. John:
25 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus, his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalen.
26 When Jesus therefore had seen his mother and the disciple standing whom he loved, he saith to his mother: Woman, behold thy son.
27 After that, he saith to the disciple: Behold thy mother. And from that hour, the disciple took her to his own.
28 Afterwards, Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the scripture might be fulfilled, said: I thirst.
29 Now there was a vessel set there full of vinegar. And they, putting a sponge full of vinegar and hyssop, put it to his mouth.
30 Jesus therefore, when he had taken the vinegar, said: It is consummated. And bowing his head, he gave up the ghost.

May She always Lead you to Her Son……..


"And the Gates of Hell Shall Not Prevail Against It...."

texag_89

Revelation 12:13: And when the dragon saw that he had been thrown down to the earth, he pursued the woman who had borne the male child.
14: But the woman was given the two wings of the great eagle that she might fly from the serpent into the wilderness, to the place where she is to be nourished for a time, and times, and half a time.
15: The serpent poured water like a river out of his mouth after the woman, to sweep her away with the flood.
16: But the earth came to the help of the woman, and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed the river which the dragon had poured from his mouth.
17: Then the dragon was angry with the woman, and went off to make war on the rest of her offspring, on those who keep the commandments of God and bear testimony to Jesus. And he stood on the sand of the sea.



YES !! The devil, a created being who said no to God, takes on Mary, also a created being, who said yes to God. We are her children if we keep the commandments of God and bear testimony to Jesus.


"Work out your salvation with fear and trembling", Phil 2:12