Has anyone ever done Engaged Encounter or Marriage Encounter?

3,245 Views | 10 Replies | Last: 8 yr ago by RAB91
Furlock Bones
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AG
My fiance (Catholic) and myself (not Catholic) just completed an Engaged Encounter in Houston. Due to a family illness, our original plan to get married in Belize the day we were to send our deposit.

We were kind of at a loss what to do. She was distraught and pretty much was ready to just go the JP, get married, and fly off to our honeymoon.

I told her, as much as I liked the idea of saving the money, she would live to regret that decision.

I suggested we think about getting married in a church. I wasn't even sure why I had suggested that considering I was never big into the church or god.

We decided to visit a local Methodist church that I had gone to a few times years back. I grew up Methodist. She had never been to a service outside of the RCC. But, I knew the Methodist Church would marry us pretty easily without any real fuss. Seeing as we were running low on time. That fit conveniently into our plan.

We went to the supposed "Traditional Service" at the Methodist. But, nothing felt traditional. I did not feel closer to god. In fact, neither one of us felt like we had actually gone to church at all that morning.

Next Sunday, we attended Mass again at St. Rose of Lima in Houston. Afterwards, we were talking I said, well, let's just go see what the church has to say. Let's find out what the requirements are for getting married in the Catholic church.

After an initial talk with one of the Deacons, we told him what was going on with our family member. That time was a serious issue. So, he agreed there was a way to get it done.

As many of you know, the Catholic church requires marriage preparation classes. Well, we had already missed the Spring classes and would be getting married around the time the Fall classes started.

So, the Deacon asked us to attended Engaged Encounter instead. Engaged Encounter is an overnight weekend marriage prep course.

Now, I just moved from Houston about a month and a half ago for a new career. My fiance is still in Houston and will be for awhile. Needless to say, we were not very excited to lose one of our weekends together at a seminar.

But, I can say now with full conviction that our preconceived notions about how this would go were dead wrong. It was without a doubt one of the best things we have ever done. The course is about faith and love, but mostly it is about communication.

You spend a lot of time writing to your spouse and then reading what your spouse wrote. It seemed quite daunting at first as neither of us are big writers. But, we both made the conscious decision to not resist what they were asking us to do. It was amazing.

I know I'm in the honeymoon or glowing phase having just come out of it. But, I fully believe god had a guiding hand in bringing us there.

There's more to the story that I'll add as I have time.

I'd like to hear from other people that have done either Engaged Encounter or Marriage Encounter or maybe they have done both. Maybe it will inspire a few people on here to go try it out. If you are engaged, I cannot recommend it enough.


Dad-O-Lot
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AG
We've done Marriage Encounter. It was tremendous. I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to improve their marriage.

For those who are really struggling in their marriage, Marriage Encounter might be too much, too soon. There is a related program called retrouvaille.
BustUpAChiffarobe
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My wife and I are actually one of the couples who put on the engaged encounter weekend at Christ the Redeemer Catholic church in Cypress (we're the young couple).

I'm glad you got so much out of the weekend; it's truly a great time to tell your spouse everything you've wanted to tell her and to fully commit yourself to become one with her for the rest of your life. It's anecdotal, but I've heard that couples who attend any sort of pre-marriage preparation are half as likely to get divorced as couples who don't (which is why the state of Texas subsidizes marriage licenses for any sort of preparation), and that Catholic Couples who attend the Catholic EE weekend are 1/4 as likely to get divorced than regular couples with no preparation.

Did you have the NFP class by Joe and Cinda DeVet? They're hilarious and give such a great witness to how children enrich a family; and they're hilarious.

Marriage encounter is just as important; I definitely recommend people doing that after being married for 5-10 years or so.
Furlock Bones
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I think what was amazing to me is that the couple that lead the weekend is also the couple that is leading our NFP classes. They've been together 50 years. After talking on subjects, they would both go actively write as well. To see the kind of commitment to continue working on their marriage after that many years was really inspirational.
Furlock Bones
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quote:
Did you have the NFP class by Joe and Cinda DeVet? They're hilarious and give such a great witness to how children enrich a family; and they're hilarious.
yep, that's who we have. they are genuinely funny people. Joe and Cinda actually had to fill in on our weekend because the lead couple is recovering from marriage surgery. had to follow up EE with our second NFP class yesterday afternoon.

needless to say, it was a great but exhausting weekend. i smartly made the decision to take a nap before driving back to Austin.
747Ag
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quote:
Did you have the NFP class by Joe and Cinda DeVet? They're hilarious and give such a great witness to how children enrich a family; and they're hilarious.
I met Joe and Cinda back when we lived in Seattle. Two of their daughters live there and attend Blessed Sacrament. Both families are dear friends of ours. The younger daughter and her husband also taught NFP, and we teamed up with them for a Seattle area CCL chapter.
RAB91
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I owe a debt of gratitude to my engaged encounter weekend. It was one of the primary drivers in helping us to see that we needed to call the wedding off. It most likely saved us from a divorce down the road. The 2nd time I got engaged (to a different person ) we just did the program where you're paired up with a married couple from your church. I can't remember the name for that program.
Woody2006
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BustUpAChiffarobe
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quote:
I owe a debt of gratitude to my engaged encounter weekend. It was one of the primary drivers in helping us to see that we needed to call the wedding off. It most likely saved us from a divorce down the road. The 2nd time I got engaged (to a different person ) we just did the program where you're paired up with a married couple from your church. I can't remember the name for that program.
In all of the weekends I've given; I've had two decide during the weekend not to go through with the wedding. It's so much better than getting married with doubts.

The name for the other program is just a "sponsor couple", you probably met at their house for 9 or 10 visits. Funny enough when my parents got married their sponsor couple ended up getting a divorce during their visits.
wbt5845
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Mrs. AiT and I presented Marriage Encounter weekends for over a decade. It's a great program. We just had to step down due to too many other commitments.

ME is like EE except much deeper and is designed to be WAY after the honeymoon phase.
Furlock Bones
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quote:
I owe a debt of gratitude to my engaged encounter weekend. It was one of the primary drivers in helping us to see that we needed to call the wedding off. It most likely saved us from a divorce down the road. The 2nd time I got engaged (to a different person ) we just did the program where you're paired up with a married couple from your church. I can't remember the name for that program.
Joe and Cinda stressed it a couple of times that if after all of this you don't truly feel the person is right. This is the time. They said they have had a few people over the years decided it was not right.

I was engaged a little over 5 years ago and called it off a few months before. It was the best decision I made until I proposed to my current fiance.

RAB91
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quote:
quote:
I owe a debt of gratitude to my engaged encounter weekend. It was one of the primary drivers in helping us to see that we needed to call the wedding off. It most likely saved us from a divorce down the road. The 2nd time I got engaged (to a different person ) we just did the program where you're paired up with a married couple from your church. I can't remember the name for that program.
Joe and Cinda stressed it a couple of times that if after all of this you don't truly feel the person is right. This is the time. They said they have had a few people over the years decided it was not right.

I was engaged a little over 5 years ago and called it off a few months before. It was the best decision I made until I proposed to my current fiance.


"A few months before"... I wish we would have had your timing. We were a few weeks before. That got a little dicey...
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