Hes making a come back on VH1, does anyone care?

Jack and Jill went up the hill, each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with two fifty! Ooooooh!!!

Little Boy Blue -
He needed the money.

peter peter pumpkin eater, had a wife and couldn't keep her. smacked her twice across the head, f***** her ass and went to bed.. OHHHH!

....and there she is. maybe 300...450 pounds. i mean you gotta grease her hips just to get her through the fin door. and when you have sex you don't really care where it goes, baby just jiggle for me!

Mary had a little lamb she kept in her backyard. When she took her panties off, his wooly d*ck got hard!

Mary Mary quite contrary, shave that p***y, IT's SO DAMN HAIRY!

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids, her uterus fell out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M9C6a1K0nI

i thought he was dead

...only his career.

i heard he has been living in japan and just came to america to pitch in the majors....



wait, i think that's him...

quote:

---

Little Boy Blue -
He needed the money.

---

I laughed.

Little miss Muffet
sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and whey
along come a spider and said
"What's in the bowl b****!"

Three blind mice, see how they run. Where the **** are they going?

Hickory, dickory dock
The B _ _ _ _ was S _ _ _ _ _ _ my C _ _ _
The clock struck two
I shot my goo
And dropped her off at the next block.

1-800-UNBELIEVABLE

Mother Goose? I ****ed her.

You got your regular two arm two leg f*gs and then
ya got these transexuals

What do these people do?
Wake up in the morning and flip a coin to decide?
Heads I want hairpie,
Tails ...
Balls across the nose

[This message has been edited by HollywoodBQ (edited 2/28/2007 9:46a).]

Ol' mother Hubbard went to her cubbard
To fetch her poor dog a bone.

But when she bent over,
Rover took over.

And fed her a bone of his own!

Ohhhh! <spit, neck-crack>


[This message has been edited by Goose (edited 2/28/2007 1:25p).]

Diceman on Rogan today.

SteadicaTm said:

---

i thought he was dead

---

Sixteen years later, I have the same thought!

HollywoodBQ said:

---

You got your regular two arm two leg f*gs and then
ya got these transexuals

What do these people do?
Wake up in the morning and flip a coin to decide?
Heads I want hairpie,
Tails ...
Balls across the nose

[This message has been edited by HollywoodBQ (edited 2/28/2007 9:46a).]

---

Can't decide if this aged well…

A16 year pull back. Is that a record?

No

maroon barchetta said:

---

HollywoodBQ said:

---

You got your regular two arm two leg f*gs and then
ya got these transexuals

What do these people do?
Wake up in the morning and flip a coin to decide?
Heads I want hairpie,
Tails ...
Balls across the nose

[This message has been edited by HollywoodBQ (edited 2/28/2007 9:46a).]

---

Can't decide if this aged well…

---

That Dice Clay bit was from approximately 1987 and was still funny 16 years ago. Ironically, I posed that about the same time my neighbor Steve was headed to ****et (city in Thailand which is blocked by TexAgs filters) to become Lindsey. She'd be about 83 y/o if she's still alive today. Dude was Field Artillery in Vietnam if you can believe that.

Since Dice wound up being on Entourage, this bit reminds me, when I re-watched the entire series with my 24 y/o daughter during the scamdemic, it was funny when they'd say something in an episode like the R-word, or the six-letter F word, etc. And my daughter was like, whoa, that's crazy that they could get away with saying that back then because it was only 10-15 years ago.

Quote:

---

'Don't you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it. Every concept that can ever be needed, will be expressed by exactly one word, with its meaning rigidly defined and all its subsidiary meanings rubbed out and forgotten. Already, in the Eleventh Edition, we're not far from that point. But the process will still be continuing long after you and I are dead. Every year fewer and fewer words, and the range of consciousness always a little smaller. Even now, of course, there's no reason or excuse for committing thoughtcrime. It's merely a question of self-discipline, reality-control. But in the end there won't be any need even for that. The Revolution will be complete when the language is perfect. Newspeak is Ingsoc and Ingsoc is Newspeak,' he added with a sort of mystical satisfaction. 'Has it ever occurred to you, Winston, that by the year 2050, at the very latest, not a single human being will be alive who could understand such a conversation as we are having now?'

---

Speaking of erasing history, it's amazing that I haven't changed usernames on this site 5 times since 2007.

I was being facetious!

Dice is performing at Rogan's new venue on 6th, the Comedy Mothership.
Sold out near instantaneously.

I saw Dice in 1991 in Austin at the old Palmer Auditorium near Town Lake.
He ends the show, a band comes out & he starts to sing. Crowd is going wild, we had no idea Dice was so talented!

About a minute into the song, Dice lights a cigarette & does his behind the head smoke thing while the song keeps going. Singing starts up again as Dice is blowing smoke rings.... we've been had! Music drops down & Dice says to the crowd: "Milli Vanilli - I f*cked her!" Mic drop, walks off stage as we all go wild. Freaking awesome.

I was at that show. Great night.

maroon barchetta said:

---

I was being facetious!

---

Yeah, but sadly, your joke is really true.

He's playing a small comedy club here in Plano this weekend. Tickets are $85/each.

I was listening to Conan O Brien's Sirius show today and he had Billy Corgan as his guest (it was great if you're a music guy) . At one point, Dice got brought up and Billy said there's a show recorded somewhere, where he bombed. He thinks it was staged maybe, but regardless he said it was the funniest thing he had ever heard. I have to find this.

BTW, I see threads of "Movies that couldn't get made today". Forget that, Dice's act in the late 80's-early 90's would never even air anywhere....so he wouldn't have to worry about getting Cancelled, haha.

He told the story of that on Rogan. I guess his plan was to go out there and see how hard he could bomb, and it worked.

Told a bunch of other wild stories including the details of how he got banned form MTV for life.

Him telling about his first ever time on stage was a wild story as well.

Tells a wild gambling story.

Overall it's worth a listen. Will keep you entertained.

From "Ford Fairlane" ... "My hair! My hair!"