First of all, I have never seen a single second of any of these movies. Nor do I plan to.

But based on TC's excellent early round of reviews of Kraven, it's going to be a train wreck. And since it comes from the same place that brought you Madam Web and Morbius, and I am procrastinating, here we are. It might not be the thread you want, but it's the thread we all need right now.

Let's start off with some basic synopsis stuff.

Plot summaries
Morbius: Dangerously ill with a rare blood disorder, and determined to save others suffering his same fate, Dr. Morbius attempts a desperate gamble. What at first appears to be a radical success, a darkness inside him is unleashed and transforms this healer into a hunter.

Madame Web: Madame Web is a clairvoyant whose psychic abilities allow her to see within the spider world itself. This is the story of how she came to be.

Kraven the Hunter: Kraven is a man whose complex relationship with his ruthless father, Nikolai Kravinoff, starts him down a path of vengeance with brutal consequences, motivating him to become not only the greatest hunter in the world, but also one of its most feared.

Budgets:
Mo: $75m ($58m of that to hold Jared Leto's ego)
Ma: $80m ($67m of that to fight off Sydney Sweeney stalkers)
Kra: Between $110m-$150m ($44m of that to help Ariana DeBose burn every copy of 2023's "Wish")


Top Choice for "WTF are you doing in this movie?"

Mo: Matt Smith. You were Doctor Who, baby! And incredible in the Crown! Stick to the BBC, bro.

Ma: Adam Scott. Controversial take: Scott is actually the funniest actor in Stepbrothers.



Kra: Russell Crowe. From Jor-El to Zeus to what is going on here?

Lazy-Ass Posters
When in doubt, just slap a picture of the main actor's face on the poster. Or as Jared Leto calls it "the way everything should be always".

Mo:


Ma:


Kra:




Rotten Tomatoes:
Morbius is at 15%
Madam Web is at 11%
Kraven opened at 12% through 17 reviews


Random Thoughts about the Titles

Mo: Drop one letter and you've got Mobius, a movie about Owen Wilson's character from Loki fighting time crime and riding a sweet jet ski.

Ma: Add a letter, and you've got Madam Webb, which could be the story of how Richmond Webb's mom convinced him to play football.

Kra: The most flexible title of all. Much like Spaceballs: The Movie, you can go forward with "Kraven the Birthday Clown", "Kraven the Toll-Booth Operator", and "Kraven the Male Escort". The possibilites are endles.


What Ryan George has to say about it all.


Mo:



Ma:



Kra: Eagerly anticipated




Box Office:

Mo: $73.8 m domestic, $162m total. Not sure how that happened. Made $39m opening weekend and $34.8m for the remaining 9 weeks combined.

Ma: $43.8m domestic, $100m total. Not sure how that happened either. Made $23.5 opening week and $20.3 million for the remaining 8 weeks combined.

Kra: I literally can't wait.


Theater Purge:

Mo: 4,268 theaters for 2 weeks, then 3,462 for 1 week. Then 2,306, then 1,726, then 724, then 313, then 207, then 83.

Ma: 4,013 theaters for 2 weeks. Then 3,116 for 1 week. Then 2,015, then 1,058, then 53, then 22, then 17.

Kra: See above

I will at least defend the poster for Kraven the Hunter, since it's basically a direct pull from the comics.

Could go the porn route with Kraven Morehead.

Sony is not very good at this.

Oh man. I forgot the Pitch Meeting guy existed. I got about five years of content to catch up on. Gonna be a busy night!

Oh! He put them into compilations. So much easier. Compilations are TIGHT!

Well Sony has at least partialy learned its lesson from Madam Web, Kraven debuted in only 2,842 theaters last night (big releases get 4,000+) and made ... yikes, $2 million. It did a lot better than War of the Rohirrim which made $625,000, but if your flex is going to be outperforming the extreme niche anime narrated by the 9th lead from a movie 21 years ago, that's on you.

It's been a rough week with work. I might go see Kraven tonight just to see if I can still feel...

Now at $15.199m at the box office, Kraven the Hunter is only $13,000 behind 1987's Benji the Hunted for 4,497th place all time domestic box office.

I'm still baffled they actually went with Madame Web.

It's actually a very simple flow chart:
1) Does this character have a long comic book history (perhaps a beloved run, or a prominent part of a team, or a sustained solo series)?
2) Do they have a passionate fanbase?

If the answers are yes and yes, you are set up for success. Ie, Venom

If you only get one yes, you need to look deeper at the circumstances. For example, Ms Marvel and Miles Morales are short on history but big on popularity.

If your answers are no/no then you need an amazing script, or something compelling to really get people interested. A successful example might be Blade from the 90s (it was basically a fresh take on an obscure character). Shang-Chi also pulled it off. Unsuccessful examples are Eternals and Madame Web.

I mean, look at that poster. Good lord.

The Porkchop Express said:

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Sony Picture's retiring CEO has determined the main problem with Madame Web and Kraven the Hunter:
The critics

From an IO9 interview via the LA TImes

The Spider-Man villain spin-off starring Aaron Taylor-Johnson was "probably the worst launch we had in the 7 1/2 years [I've been at Sony], so that didn't work out very well, which I still don't understand, because the film is not a bad film," departing CEO Tony Vinciquerra said.

In a follow-up question, Vinciquerra was asked more about Kravenas well as another notorious, Spidey-adjacent 2024 release: Madame Web.

"Let's just touch on Madame Web for a moment," he said. "Madame Web underperformed in the theaters because the press just crucified it. It was not a bad film, and it did great on Netflix."

He continued, leaning into blaming the press for Madame Web's failure and others. "For some reason, the press decided that they didn't want us making these films out of Kraven and Madame Web, and the critics just destroyed them. They also did it with Venom, but the audience loved Venom and made Venom a massive hit. These are not terrible films. They were just destroyed by the critics in the press, for some reason."

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"Am I out of touch? No, it's the children critics who are wrong."

The same studio who was tricked into rereleasing Morbius so it could fail twice.