There's a dude in my office who keeps sending me suggestions on changes to our softball team's line-up...










...on an Excel spreadsheet.

Gig 'Em

Send him back a picture of a can of Miller Light.

We won our first game 16-6.
Lost our second game 9-8, but gave up a 7-spot in the first.
We're better now than we were in the spring, but we're still playing just for the hell of it. I'll even find a spot for the worst player we have.

That doesn't resonate with this guy though. He wants to WIN. WIN BIG!! WIN NOW!!!! DAMN THE LITTLE PEOPLE!!! We had to tell him to step off last week, because he told one of the girls that she sucked. He's really making friends around here.

Gig 'Em

[This message has been edited by CollegeStationAgFan (edited 6/9/2005 9:07a).]

I think we might work together.

This guy needs to get together with the 60+ year old CATCHER who was talking smack to us the other night in D-League.

I was dumbfounded...

gutless wonder?

he told a girl she sucked? wow. what a loser.
You guys playing COED D or D+?

According to Austin Parks and Rec, we are playing Co-Rec Low Intermediate. I'm not sure if that translates to D or D+.

Gig 'Em

We're playing Austin PARD, "Low Novice", which is the lowest you can go.

At least your people want to win! My boyfriend's company softball coach should be fired. He's never had a team make it past the 5th inning because of the 10 run rule. He didn't have them practice a single time before their first game, and they lost in the 4th because of the 15 run rule. A few guys on the team decided to take over coaching for the guy and hold their own practices. I dont know why that guy even still volunteers to coach...

Practice?

And people wonder why I have no interest in playing softball.

I coached in the spring and we were awful...1-8 on the season. I figured we would have lost more than a few people during the course of the season, simply because they were tired of getting their heads kicked in...we were run-ruled three times.

Still, they kept wanting to get better and kept wanting to practice. This is the first time that this company has ever played more than one season a year. From the way a lot of folks are talking, we may make it a year-round deal. We are having fun, win or lose.

EDIT: And we need practice. We have a lot of girls with little to no experience. I felt the same way about practice, but the demand for it has been huge, so it's hard to say no.

Gig 'Em

[This message has been edited by CollegeStationAgFan (edited 6/9/2005 9:25a).]

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Practice?

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Exactly. There's absolutely no reason why you should practice for Co-Ed softball. Hell, for any PARD softball.

Eddie...

I think I've seen that 60+ year old you're talking about.

Gig 'Em

Bottom Line:

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We are having fun, win or lose.

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Some people just don't understand that this is the purpose of the Low Novice leagues. If you wanna wear eye black, batting gloves on both hands and be super competetive, take that crap to the higher leagues.

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batting gloves on both hands

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I have delicate hands

for the first time, I am playing in a true novice league (Wilco lumps teams together that shouldnt be, and i usually play intermediate in Austin) - it is quality entertainment. some players are good, some players are bad, lots of people try to lead off. we all had a good time and won our first game 21-20 (anybody know how to pitch?). My super-competitive (and good) shortstop from my wilco team wants to play on this one - it might cause friction.

I can think of only three reasons why you might really need batting gloves in slow pitch softball.
1) If you're prone to the bat slipping out of your hands, someone could get hurt.
2) Batting practice - you might get enough reps to cause blisters. Not in games, though. You get what, 1-2 swings per at bat? If you swing more than that, you have bigger problems.
3) You're a chick. Women tend to care more about their skin than men.

If you're a guy and you take softball seriously, you should have your man card permanently revoked. If you're that serious, play baseball. Competitive softball is a woman's sport. Guys should only do it for fun, comraderie, and, of course, beer.

"Numerical superiority is of no consequence. In battle, victory will always go to the best tactician." - Gen. G. A. Custer

I think I may be able to one up you...

I ump softball for intramurals at A&M and there is a girls team that has a coach. And by coach I don't mean a guy that comes out to watch and have a good time. This moron recruits, holds tryouts, and does everything as if intramural softball mattered. I might be able to let this level of doucheyness slide, but the guy is an ******* to boot. He strolls his 5'8" 120 lb body onto the field as if he owns it and proceeds to command "his" players through infield/outfield. The guy is the epitome of assclown.

I was umping one of his games and a girl from his team and a girl from the other team were cousins and wanted to visit after the game, shocking, right? Well, as the two girls are talking he yells at her to get over to the team meeting. The cousin from the other team yells back, "**** you, she's my cousin," (The language was the result of the guy being a douche all game) to which he responds, "I don't care" and walks off with "his" player. The other umps and I, along with the other cousin, start yelling at him and what not to which he tries to ignore and proceeds to conduct his meeting.

I probably didn't do as good a job as possible describing this guy, but you get the idea...

I'd rather play coed softball than guys-only baseball.

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there is a girls team that has a coach

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In Intramurals? WTF?
How do you suppose a tool like this guy convinced ANYONE to join "his" team?