My grandma told this to me:

There were a bunch of first graders on the first day of school. The teacher said that they were going to get away from using baby words and start using grow up words. She turned to little Suzy and asked what she did over the weekend. Little Suzy said, "I played with my Nana."

The teacher said, "No. You played with your Grandma. Little Bobby, what did you do over the weekend?"

Little Bobby said, "I rode on a choo-choo."

The teacher said, "No. You rode on a train. Little Davey, what did you do over the weekend."

Little Davey said, "I read a book."

The teacher said, "Good for you! What was the name of it?"

Little Davey proudly said, "Winnie the Sh*t!"

First grade teacher talking to class about fish.

Teacher: Fish have small mouths and eat small pieces of food at a time.

Student: I read in the Bible that Jonah was swallowed whole by a fish.

Teacher: That is impossible. No fish can swallow a man.

Student: It is in the Bible so it must be true.

Teacher: That is not possible. A fish's mouth is not that big.

Student: When I get to Heaven I'll ask Jonah.

Teacher: What if he is not in Heaven.

Student: Then you can ask him.

A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911...he gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead!! What should I do?"

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says, "just take it easy and follows my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence...and then a shot is heard.

A moment later, the guy's voice comes back on the line, "okay, now what?"



[This message has been edited by aggiebylegacy (edited 3/7/2005 1:20p).]

these jokes suck