Mom Forced to Choose Sons During Tsunami

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OA5
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Mom Forced to Choose Sons During Tsunami


By MERAIAH FOLEY, AP

SYDNEY, Australia (Jan. 2) - When a massive wall of water shattered Jillian Searle's idyllic tropical holiday, she was forced to make a horrific choice no parent should ever have to face: which of her two young sons to save.

Jillian Searle was forced to make an agonizing decision: which of her two sons to hold during the tsunami.

Her split-second decision tore the family apart - only to be reunited hours later.

As the Searle family settles back into their every day life in the city of Perth in Western Australia state, how they discuss their terrifying experiences will shape their future, psychologist Richard Bryant said Sunday.

Jillian Searle was near her hotel pool with her two sons Lachie, 5, and Blake, 2, when a series of tsunami waves swept over the Thai resort island of Phuket.

"I just heard a terrible roaring, a loud roaring sound and I turned around and I just saw masses, masses of water coming for us," Searle told the Nine television network this week. "I straight away thought: How am I going to keep my two children alive?"

As the first wave surged over them, Searle realized that she could not keep the three of them afloat and was forced to choose which of her boys to hold on to, and which to let go.

"I knew I had to let go of one of them, and I just thought I'd better let go of the one that's the oldest," Searle told Sky News.

Amid the churning water, Searle noticed a young woman clinging to a nearby post and begged her to take hold of 5-year-old Lachie. As Searle pried Lachie's hand from hers, he pleaded for her to keep him safe.

"I could feel him squeezing me," Searle said. "And he said to me, 'Don't let go of me mummy.' But I knew I had to."

As the raging currents wrenched them apart, Searle looked back at Lachie - who had not yet learned to swim - believing she would never set eyes on him again.

"I remember looking back at my 5-year-old boy thinking that will probably be the last time I will see him alive," she said.

Meanwhile, Searle's husband Bradley was watching the terrifying scenario play out from the hotel's first-floor balcony. He tried to rush to his wife's assistance, but the rising water had blocked the doors.

"The water level was so high you couldn't open the doors," he said. "Then I found a bar on the ground and I tried to get that into the door and lever the door open."

Once he reached the ground floor, a second massive wave crashed over the beach, forcing him to seek refuge on top of a bar.

When the water finally subsided, Bradley Searle was reunited with his wife and youngest son, and they began a desperate search for Lachie.

Frantic, Searle told her husband: "You have to find him because I let go of him. I gave him to somebody else, and I let go of him... And there is no possible way I can live my life knowing that I took his hand off mine."
An89Ag
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This isn't that well written. Yes, she did let him go which was a terrible choice, but the 5 year old could not swim. He did manage to dog paddle until he reached a floating door (I believe). He did survive.
Orlando Ayala Cant Read
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Thats the whole article? Was it written by a Jr. High student? Theres no resolution. So what happened to the kid and the rest of the family? If he lived, what happened when they reunited?
WoMD
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to be continued...



tune in next week for the exciting conclusion!
Mom Class of '03,'05 and '09
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Some other woman caught him and stayed with him for a few minutes and then she was swept away and Lachie held onto a tree.His parents found him two hours later and he complained only that his hands were dirty and his clothes needed to be washed.

My son at 5 would have said, Damn what was that? and when I got through crying for joy he would have been in trouble for cursing!
Cole97
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i've seen several interviews with this family.

the mother, obviously, is very upset over the entire ordeal.

but, so is the 5 year old.

he KNOWS mom let him go but not little brother.

every interview i saw, the 5 year old was crying and incredibly stand-offish from the mother....she was holding the 2 year old every time.

that kid needs to be put into counceling asap...
WoMD
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shoulda let em both go and let nature sort it out.
darwinism at its finest.
3rd Generation Ag
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horrible choice to have to make. I don't know if I could have let go of either one. If I got out with one, then I think I would have immediately headed back into the water to die if one was left behind.

That terrific five year old needs help and tons of love to ever get over this.

Remember that some of the moms in the Russion school killings were forced to leave children behind to take younger ones to safety--and that was hard enough for them.

[This message has been edited by 3rd Generation Ag (edited 1/2/2005 4:22p).]
PJYoung
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I would doubt that a 5 year old would ever get over his mom prying his little hand from hers during a flood.

If you did that to a 2 year old and he survived at least he probably wouldn't remember it.





chiken
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memories aren't concrete until you're around 3 years old, so you're right, he probably wouldn't have remembered it. He probably also wouldn't have survived once the woman that was helping was swept away.

That child is definitely going to need counseling but I doubt he'll ever forget what it felt like for his mother to choose his brother over him. Maybe when he's older will he understand a little better but she's going to have a hell of a time raising him for the next 10 years.

This would be an excellent case study to follow.
Mom Class of '03,'05 and '09
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I have thought about this all day today and finally decided I would probably have died trying to save BOTH kids.I know I couldn't have chosen..but in truly thinking about this the older should have been held since he was certainly aware of what was happening.

I would wonder,as a Mom,how she is going to justify prying his hand away?
bmc13
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Let the older one go as he would be more likely to survive. I know it would be incredibly tough, but you would have to use logic and rationalize that by making that choice the most have the chance to survive. While the five year old may be old enough to remember, he is also old enough to realize something bad is happening and that he needed to hang on to something. The two year old would probably have not stood a chance.
Bockaneer
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3GA- Exactly what I thought about too... at the Russian school shooting, the child left behind wasn't so fortunate. Also, the choice probably didn't seem as much the mother's w/ the captors making the demands. I know my wife and I thought about that incident quite a lot and really felt bad for the mom.

This deal is tough too, but if I was the mom, I sure as well wouldn't be giving interviews saying that I had actually chosen one over the other- even if he grows up and forgets most of it due to the trauma- he can always find her quotes later... lovely.
JohnAg05
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I think she made the right choice. its an impossible decision to make, but the best thing that could happen is everyone survives. they've all been thru an incredible trauma no matter who was chosen. Even if the boy never fully appreciates his mother's decision, he should still be happy to be alive (instead of having a dead brother)
CoolaidWade
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If I was the young kid I would be like, "Ha ha, mommy loves me more they you." everyday.
aggiebylegacy
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I don't have any children, but as a mother, what good would it do for you to choose likely death for all three over saving at least one of your children? I can understand her thinking that a 5 year old had a better chance than a 2 year old.
2001%er
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Something similar happened with the Russian school hostage situation, and a woman had to choose which child to leave with. She chose to leave with the toddler and leave a 5 year old. I told my mom about it and her answer was immediate and decisive--leave the youngest, because the older one is old enough to know what is happening and really be scared, the youngest is not. And I have to say that makes sense. As between 2 kids, one younger than 3, one older, I'd take the older one too. If they are both older, then I guess you take the youngest and hope the older one has a chance.

ellen_ag2001@hotmail.com
bobcat goldthwait
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2001%er- but the older is more likely to survive on their own than the 2 year old. wouldn't you rather have both be alive and possibly one resenting you, than have one alive and one dead (probably still resenting her from the grave).

either way, its a crappy situation, but at least you'd like them to survive.
Buford T. Justice
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Yes, she probably made the right decision and I realize that in that moment, there is probably no time to explain your intent. The sad thing is the older boy was definitely affected by the event and the decision. I felt terrible watching his reaction while his mom recounted the events. That is going to stay with him for life.
aggiebylegacy
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I also think it's incredibly easy for us to sit back and second-guess her choices...I pray I would never have to make such an unbearable choice.
2001%er
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Bobcat, I would agree if one was old enough to survive on his own, but as the 5 year old did not know how to swim he was really not much better off than the 2 year old. It's not about resentment so much, although that certainly seems it will be a problem, so much as being panicked at the time. In the Russian school situation, the 2 year old would be only vaguely aware that something was wrong, the 5 year old would better understand it and be more scared.

I can't say she made the wrong choice, as it ended well. But I can see the rationale for making the opposite choice. Hopefully the older boy will come to understand the horrible position his mother found herself in, and why she did what she did. Of course, she will have to be very careful to not seem to favor the youngest in anything, as the older one already feels slighted.

ellen_ag2001@hotmail.com
Mom Class of '03,'05 and '09
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The older boy IS NOT going to realize and think Mommy tore my hand away to save me but I was very scared, if she doesn't PUT DOWN the 2yo and hold the suffering 5yo.

This is part of the reason I would not make the same choice,he knew what was going on that she held his brother and forced him away..he cannot at this age understand she did that trying to save him...especially since she is constantly holding his brother.THe child needs counseling big time and NOW or he will end up hating that brother for life and may try to harm him.

We can say it all worked out all right but it may not have in the long run.
aggiebylegacy
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Would you rather have an emotionally scarred son or a dead son? Again, easy to second-guess, not so easy to make a life-or-death decision in seconds.
MooreTrucker
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I read a similar story this morning. Mom had two little ones (can't remember the exact ages) and a 7-year-old. She could only carry two, so she left the 7-year-old, who immediately ran back into the house. The family dog went in after him and got him out and to safety, too.
Mom Class of '03,'05 and '09
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ABL,if the emotional scarring is deep enough he is the same as gone anyway..what most concerns me is that she was not holding him but was,my daughter said, telling him to sush while talking with the interviewer.

Comeby!
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aggiebylegacy
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quote:
ABL,if the emotional scarring is deep enough he is the same as gone anyway...


Completely disagree...as long as s/he's breathing, there is hope.
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