So I'm a social worker in Southern California and my wife, who just found out she's expecting our third kiddo, stays pretty busy with my teen daughter and elementary school-aged son.
A few years back, we ended up housing a -- well, I guess he's best described as a needy kid in his late teens though he's technically significantly older than that. Through a significant catastrophe in his life he was left with literally nobody in his life and nowhere to turn to. I found him in our garage and the choices were basically take him in or see him fend for himself in an environment completely foreign to him or -- worse -- be apprehended by the authorities and who knows what would happen to him once he gets bogged down in THAT system.
Things went smoothly at first. He seemed to bond with my son and that was great. But things quickly turned on a dime. First of all, he eats a TON. He's incredibly indiscriminate about what he grabs out of the fridge, out of the pantry, by calling for delivery, etc., etc. It's definitely been a HUGE impact on our family budget. He tries to help out from time-to-time, getting a paper route, odd jobs where he can go unnoticed, etc., but we're getting to the point that we're having to have some tough conversations with our daughter about what her college options are. You'd think with all of the work from home options available he could figure out some way to contribute over the long term, but he's not able to hold down a job.
And then there's a long list of things that have been -- for whatever reason -- inadvertently/ accidentally/ unfortunately destroyed. Small stuff like dishes breaking, kitchen appliances being ruined and the vacuum cleaner being clogged. Always stupid **** -- like trying to use the kitchen blender to create bubbles in the bathtub for a hot tub effect. But a couple of times it's been substantial damage, like a blown up oven and a huge hole in the backyard that he thought would fill with water to look like an island oasis.
Maybe I'm focusing on the negatives too much. Usually he's content to just watch TV and eat junk food. But with the new baby coming I'm really worried that this situation has jumped the shark and it's time for him to move on to be someone else's problem. I hate to end a relationship, and it's sometime difficult to see what our life would be without him. But I think I need to find a way to break the news to him that he needs to embark on a new project.
I'm grateful for any suggestions.
A few years back, we ended up housing a -- well, I guess he's best described as a needy kid in his late teens though he's technically significantly older than that. Through a significant catastrophe in his life he was left with literally nobody in his life and nowhere to turn to. I found him in our garage and the choices were basically take him in or see him fend for himself in an environment completely foreign to him or -- worse -- be apprehended by the authorities and who knows what would happen to him once he gets bogged down in THAT system.
Things went smoothly at first. He seemed to bond with my son and that was great. But things quickly turned on a dime. First of all, he eats a TON. He's incredibly indiscriminate about what he grabs out of the fridge, out of the pantry, by calling for delivery, etc., etc. It's definitely been a HUGE impact on our family budget. He tries to help out from time-to-time, getting a paper route, odd jobs where he can go unnoticed, etc., but we're getting to the point that we're having to have some tough conversations with our daughter about what her college options are. You'd think with all of the work from home options available he could figure out some way to contribute over the long term, but he's not able to hold down a job.
And then there's a long list of things that have been -- for whatever reason -- inadvertently/ accidentally/ unfortunately destroyed. Small stuff like dishes breaking, kitchen appliances being ruined and the vacuum cleaner being clogged. Always stupid **** -- like trying to use the kitchen blender to create bubbles in the bathtub for a hot tub effect. But a couple of times it's been substantial damage, like a blown up oven and a huge hole in the backyard that he thought would fill with water to look like an island oasis.
Maybe I'm focusing on the negatives too much. Usually he's content to just watch TV and eat junk food. But with the new baby coming I'm really worried that this situation has jumped the shark and it's time for him to move on to be someone else's problem. I hate to end a relationship, and it's sometime difficult to see what our life would be without him. But I think I need to find a way to break the news to him that he needs to embark on a new project.
I'm grateful for any suggestions.
Author of the TexAgs Post of The Day - May 31, 2024
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