My Husband Flies First Class and Puts Me in Coach. Is That Fair?

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My husband loves to travel and always either pays for, or gets an upgrade into, the first-class cabin. When we travel together with our children, he buys himself a ticket in first class and puts us in economy or economy plus. He even did this recently on an overnight flight to Paris. He justifies flying alone in first class because of the cost, and the fact that our kids (12 and 16) might feel alone if I were to travel in first with him and leave them in the rear cabin. I feel that this is unfair.

I don't think our kids would mind if they were in economy plus and my husband and I sat together in first class. Is that unfair of me to want? My husband has suggested traveling alone on a different flight ahead of us so that we don't feel badly about the disparity, but this does not really address or solve the problem of the inherent selfishness in his thinking. Am I wrong? We are happy to travel, and love going places together, but it is still very strange. Name Withheld

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https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/19/magazine/first-class-ethics.html

This didn't happen.

Going to take b.s. for $1000, Alex.

The exhilaration this dude must feel boarding plane and having 9-hours of peace and quiet away from that nagging wife and kids. The 18 hours r/t sitting in first class is that dudes real vacation.

Wife should be thanking him for working hard so they can go on vacation and feel good he can relax in first class while she takes care of the kids

A simple mid-flight blow job, and she'd be right up there next to him every time.

See? You take a woman out for a vacation and all she does is whine beach and moan.

Women.

&ct=g

Dang I'm an idiot. One time I put my wife and kid in first class and I rode coach with the other one. I didn't realize you could do it the other way.

You sat in coach with your other wife?

maroon barchetta said:

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This didn't happen.

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Swarely said:

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maroon barchetta said:

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This didn't happen.

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ktownag08 said:

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A simple mid-flight blow job, and she'd be right up there next to him every time.

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this. Just join the air sex society with your man and he'll spring for first class for you.

I'd say it's made up, but both people involved seem so ****ing stupid that it just might be real.

Bunk Moreland said:

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He's right.

maroon barchetta said:

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This didn't happen.

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You'd be surprised. There are plenty of married couples that don't commingle finances and still live financially like they're single. Like they legitimately split bills and pay from their own separate accounts, one owns the house and the other pays "rent," or one makes substantially more and lives like it while the other budgets fit the basic necessities. I've read legitimate dear abby type financial advice columns with questions from spouses about these kinds of setups, with the most egregious being one with a high income dad who insisted his wife should be paying more for their newborn while she was out of work on FMLA and taking care of said kid full time. I honestly don't understand how you could get married and live like that. Seems like you have both feet out the door all the time.

Feminism. Women wanted equality. That's what it looks like. No take backs.

maroon barchetta said:

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This didn't happen.

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Have you read F16 lately? These men exist among us.

The dude could be fighting some sort of injury, we don't know.

Anybody with any kind of injury. Whether its back or neck. Knee. Whatever.

An economy seat for 9+ hours can put you in a bad spot.

ABATTBQ11 said:

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maroon barchetta said:

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This didn't happen.

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I honestly don't understand how you could get married and live like that. Seems like you have both feet out the door all the time.

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I totally do.

Go through an expensive divorce where one party takes advantage of the other financially.

In most cases, financially there is no benefit for men to marry (maybe tax reasons?). Financially-speaking it's total risk and virtually no reward for men.

I know two couples like this. They both got married later in life. One of them the wife is a GC bigwig the guy does pretty well though.

The other guy does okay but his wife is like an admin. Like he drives a nice Tesla and she drives their daughter around in a twenty year old Accord.

713nervy said:

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maroon barchetta said:

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This didn't happen.

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Have you read F16 lately? These men exist among us.

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Why would I go there???

When the reverse is true.

713nervy said:

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maroon barchetta said:

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This didn't happen.

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Have you read F16 lately? These men exist among us.

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Aaaaaand here we go.

713nervy said:

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maroon barchetta said:

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This didn't happen.

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Have you read F16 lately? These men exist among us.

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Yeah, that's applicable.

AggieArchitect04 said:

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ABATTBQ11 said:

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maroon barchetta said:

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This didn't happen.

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I honestly don't understand how you could get married and live like that. Seems like you have both feet out the door all the time.

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I totally do.

Go through an expensive divorce where one party takes advantage of the other financially.

In most cases, financially there is no benefit for men to marry (maybe tax reasons?). Financially-speaking it's total risk and virtually no reward for men.

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If you're going into a marriage with an exit strategy and look at it as a financial setup, that seems like divorce waiting to happen. Nothing in successful marriages is about score keeping or, "me and mine." If you're keeping separate finances, either you don't trust who you're marrying, you're not fully committed to the marriage, or both. In any event, you probably shouldn't be getting married.

Something about misery loves company...

Heartily disagree. It's an insurance plan. You hope you'll never have to use it but you can't control the future or the other person. 50% of marriages end in divorce and it doesn't seem to be terribly easy to predict which marriage will fall into that category ahead of time. So while I'd rather believe your philosophy, it's just not reality.

AggieArchitect04 said:

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ABATTBQ11 said:

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maroon barchetta said:

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This didn't happen.

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I honestly don't understand how you could get married and live like that. Seems like you have both feet out the door all the time.

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I totally do.

Go through an expensive divorce where one party takes advantage of the other financially.

In most cases, financially there is no benefit for men to marry (maybe tax reasons?). Financially-speaking it's total risk and virtually no reward for men.

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Meh. My spouse's income supplemented me during grad school so I didn't have to take out loans

713nervy said:

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Heartily disagree. It's an insurance plan. You hope you'll never have to use it but you can't control the future or the other person. 50% of marriages end in divorce and it doesn't seem to be terribly easy to predict which marriage will fall into that category ahead of time. So while I'd rather believe your philosophy, it's just not reality.

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I think having separate finances is dangerous but I think a prenup is a good idea.

I think of it like this: money is a vehicle to achieve goals.

If u and ur spouse have separate goals it's not gonna go well.

A proverb about being yoked together comes to mind.

Additionally a marriage is as much a financial contract as anything else and whatever is earned during the marriage is community property. Keeping separate finances defeats the purpose.

All women these days know how to do is charge they phone, twerk, be bi-sexual, eat hot chip and lie.

ABATTBQ11 said:

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AggieArchitect04 said:

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ABATTBQ11 said:

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maroon barchetta said:

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This didn't happen.

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I honestly don't understand how you could get married and live like that. Seems like you have both feet out the door all the time.

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I totally do.

Go through an expensive divorce where one party takes advantage of the other financially.

In most cases, financially there is no benefit for men to marry (maybe tax reasons?). Financially-speaking it's total risk and virtually no reward for men.

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If you're going into a marriage with an exit strategy and look at it as a financial setup, that seems like divorce waiting to happen. Nothing in successful marriages is about score keeping or, "me and mine." If you're keeping separate finances, either you don't trust who you're marrying, you're not fully committed to the marriage, or both. In any event, you probably shouldn't be getting married.

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Like I said, go through a divorce and get taken to the cleaners. Then come talk to me.

Things are peachy keen on the wedding night but marriage is tough. It takes two people to be married but only one to file for divorce. Not everyone makes it. In fact, most don't, right?

Part of life is learning from your mistakes. It's not about having one foot out the door. It's about protecting yourself. Because once you go through one divorce you learn that people are capable of anything and things don't always go the way you planned.

EDIT: I've heard about men who had entirely separate, secret bank accounts, hidden from their wife. I've heard of women taking out additional debt without the other party knowing (which becomes shared debt). Very often when someone files, they drain the joint accounts. This happens everyday.

It's sucks that these people exist but they do. And they don't always show their true colors until it's too late.