What's the new mistress recommendation?
Do you pick a sugar mama to take care of you? Someone single? Someone married?
Or do you just find a college girl who is dumb and smoking hot?

A -

The smart money is on being single and trolling the "young adult" Bible study groups and then moving on to the single adult groups after you are too old for those. Change churches every few months and you will be set for years....they don't call it missionary for nothing.

Pay by the hour, it's cheaper.

javajaws said:

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Pay by the hour, it's cheaper.

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What are you supposed to do with the other 57 minutes?

Duncan Idaho said:

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The smart money is on being single and trolling the "young adult" Bible study groups and then moving on to the single adult groups after you are too old for those. Change churches every few months and you will be set for years....they don't call it missionary for nothing.

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this. And when you run out, put some salt and pepper dye in your hair and hit the divorcee classes

V8Aggie said:

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javajaws said:

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Pay by the hour, it's cheaper.

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What are you supposed to do with the other 57 minutes?

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Hey look at mr. stamina over here bragging about 3 minutes....

V8Aggie said:

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javajaws said:

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Pay by the hour, it's cheaper.

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What are you supposed to do with the other 57 minutes?

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smoke a cigar

Follow Ben Franklin's advice and choose an older woman.

Quote:

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But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:
...

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http://www.lettersofnote.com/2011/02/older-mistresses-are-so-grateful.html

Why the eff would I want two crazy women in my life?

Quad Dog said:

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Follow Ben Franklin's advice and choose an older woman.

Quote:

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But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:
...

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http://www.lettersofnote.com/2011/02/older-mistresses-are-so-grateful.html

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Ben knew what he's talking about.

1. Cruise by the battered women shelter.
2. Roll down your window.
3. Scream, "Get in the f@%king car!"
4. Pick the one you want for that night.

or

1. Go to Lemaze class.
2. Find a woman who is there alone.
3. Go up to her and whisper "I have health insurance."
4. Have the secs.

Bonus 1 - Can't get her pregnant.
Bonus 2 - Technically a threesome.

TPS_Report said:

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1. Cruise by the battered women shelter.
2. Roll down your window.
3. Scream, "Get in the f@%king car!"
4. Pick the one you want for that night.

or

1. Go to Lemaze class.
2. Find a woman who is there alone.
3. Go up to her and whisper "I have health insurance."
4. Have the secs.

Bonus 1 - Can't get her pregnant.
Bonus 2 - Technically a threesome.

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Yeah, but it might make you gay.

TPS_Report said:

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1. Cruise by the battered women shelter.
2. Roll down your window.
3. Scream, "Get in the f@%king car!"
4. Pick the one you want for that night.

or

1. Go to Lemaze class.
2. Find a woman who is there alone.
3. Go up to her and whisper "I have health insurance."
4. Have the secs.

Bonus 1 - Can't get her pregnant.
Bonus 2 - Technically a threesome.

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Ben Franklin- first guy to coin the phrase "Put a paper bag over her head"

Pick an older woman. They know what they like, and got broken in by some dude that had to take his time years ago to get her to do all the kinky stuff she's ready for from day one when you enter her life.

Brilliant

Humorous Username said:

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Pick an older woman. They know what they like, and got broken in by some dude that had to take his time years ago to get her to do all the kinky stuff she's ready for from day one when you enter her life.

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They're freaks at 50.

Sleep Number or Leesa.

IIIHorn said:

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Sleep Number or Leesa.

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I'm pretty sure Sleep Number would not make a good mistress.

IIIHorn said:

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Sleep Number or Leesa.

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Be sure to use a mattress protector!

(and a child support protector)

To wives and mistresses.....may the two never meet!

"Pick an ugly woman. Then when she leaves, you'll be happy" Redd Foxx.

Burrus86 said:

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To wives

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Asian woman for sure. They know how to take care of a man and haven't been ruined by Western society (i.e. feminism).

That said, I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed the first time I had one though and found out that it didn't go sideways like my dad always told me.

I know this guy named Jeff that can help you out. He's been hard to reach the last couple months though. I'm sure he's fine though. That guy would never commit suicide.