What say you, GB? Good, bad, something in between?

inb4 grats on the sex.

it's good if you have a good relationship
not necessary but when you're in love...

Living in sin

Trashy

Totally doing it this time around.

Prior to moving in together, you are probably spending the night together at one of your places or the other all the time anyway, so you can have the sex, why not knock it down to just a single location?

Human said:

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Living in sin

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When it comes down to it, and you are looking for an answer. I mean a real answer not just some silly advice form a silly social forum. Human has the correct answer. The Good Book always has the answer. The Bible has had an answer to every major life question I have had since I started looking there obediently.

I lived in sin for about a year. I made an immature decision because i was personally and Spiritually young and immature. Still married but would not do it again if i had to go back. It wasnt the right thing to do. Made since financially. But finances aren't eternal. It was a bad decision on our part.

So the question is....does the bible say dont live together before you are married?
I dont think it does directly. Sexual immorality is the topic. And does the Bible cover this regarding sex before marriage? Yes. There is an asumption here relating to individuals living together. An assumption that generally holds true.

It boggles my mind that people actually think like this.

No better way to figure out those quirks than to live with them first. Marriage is a journey and the more you get out in the open, the better.

I've done it before at it turned out to be a disaster. The good thing was that I learned more about her than I would have had we gotten married and then lived together. To each their own.

Just to put a lid on this thread... This is how it will surely play out...

OldAg: statistics show more marriages stay together who don't live in sin prior.

Newag: Correlation=/Causation

Rabble rabble rabble...

PatAg said:

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It boggles my mind that people actually think like this.

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You didn't respond to anybody in particular, so I don't know which way boggles your mind.

Living in sin

Living with my current girlfriend. Makes sense financially and we have definitely learned about each others little quirks. Glad we made this decision and I think it has really strengthened our relationship.

highly recommended

consider it a test drive of marriage

Love the assumption that the op is a Christian.

new straw said:

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Love the assumption that the op is a Christian.

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I don't think he made that assumption at all. Christians believe that what they believe is the truth. The truth is the truth regardless of one's thoughts on the matter.

British guy I used to work with whose personal life was already a disaster had his latest conquest move in with him. After a month of dating. Seemed like a good arrangement for both, she was gonna bounce to pa school soon and her lease was up anyway. Don't know what or where he's going after that.

Living with someone before you marry them is still not the same as marriage, as far as how that person's behavior/personality etc is once you put a ring on the finger.

I'm not moralizing here, its your business, not mine.

I know from experience (twice) that attitudes, behaviors etc are different before and after marriage, it's hard to explain, but it's not the same thing. While it is good to try on a pair of boots before you buy them *coughs*, I would still be cautious with the attitude that living together is the same as marriage, it is not.

Yep, it's not a true test run until you wife her, so there is no true practice. That's when things really shake-up.

A good friend of mine dated his women the last three years of college and lived in their own places. They weren't one of those couples either that always slept at one or the others place. Anyways they got married shortly after graduation. 3 months later he's telling he can't take it anymore and he's going to ask for a divorce. Said he wished he lived with her first. They're little idiosyncrasies drove each nuts and were constantly bickering about them.

It is stupid and just practicing for divorce.
I don't approve,

Not a fan of living together. At first it was out of respect for my dad because I knew he wouldn't approve and would be upset. Now that he's gone, I still wouldn't out of respect for myself.

He sounds like a dumbass. That was probably 90% of their problems.

Stop getting involved w ****ty women. Easy peasy.

If it is a "test drive" then you're setting yourself up for a way out, and you're more likely to take that way out. That's the correlation/causation answer. It is some of both.

It is more likely that you will divorce if you live together first. Stats don't lie.

If you view marriage as a limited partnership that can be dissolved when one or the other feels like it is no longer meeting their personal needs, then by all means go ahead with the trial run... but rest assured that at some point that day will come when marriage gets difficult and you'll bail.

If, on the other hand, you view marriage as a lifelong commitment through thick and thin (and "quirks" and "compatibility issues") then you don't need a trial run, and you'll realize that there is no such thing as a trial run.

Hard truth, but you asked.

Rutedown said:

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A good friend of mine dated his women the last three years of college and lived in their own places. They weren't one of those couples either that always slept at one or the others place. Anyways they got married shortly after graduation. 3 months later he's telling he can't take it anymore and he's going to ask for a divorce. Said he wished he lived with her first. They're little idiosyncrasies drove each nuts and were constantly bickering about them.

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The "little idiosyncrasies" aren't things you get divorced over. Those are things you learn to live with or maybe even negotiate on. If someone is getting divorced over clothes on the floor, hanging the toilet paper the wrong way, toothpaste/whiskers/hair in the sink, etc. They weren't emotionally mature enough to be married in the first place. Given a little time, people get used to the minor things they bicker about. It's the big stuff that can really threaten a marriage.

If you want to, do. If you don't want to, don't.

We moved in within a year of dating and it's been great. So great that we are getting married in two weeks.

I feel like nothing is going to change other than her last name

I agree. I think both weren't ready for marriage. Besides the idiosyncrasies she became controlling and I don't think he was ready for that either. He complained about the little things, but I think he didn't like the idea he couldn't just up and leave and go be with the boys. She gave him the divorce without trouble so I felt they both realized they weren't ready.

Is this the same dude you cry after in every single so or marriage thread posted on the gb?

mike_ags_fan12 said:

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We moved in within a year of dating and it's been great. So great that we are getting married in two weeks.

I feel like nothing is going to change other than her last name

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You keep thinking that.

Getting married and having kids was the best thing I have ever done. It caused me to grow up and be a man. It hasn't always been easy. We've had our ups and downs.

Getting back to the OP's question... no, don't live together before you get married. Here is my reasoning... the first year living together was the most difficult. Adjusting to "we" instead of "me" was very hard. If I hadn't had the obligation of marriage, I most likely would have walked away. We finally adjusted to each other over that first year and it got easier over time. Without the commitment of marriage, I would most likely had left and never realized the full potential we had as husband and wife. Now, I can't imagine my life without my wife. My $0.02.

Remain friends and skip the legal marriage.

Think Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn.