King Donkey has gone to the IL with a "left foot contusion" after Rockhead Baldelli spiked him in the clubhouse.

This is the most pathetic Twins 'injury' since the good ol' Joe Mauer days of "bilateral leg weakness".

Expect that Joey's season ends here. God, I hope he can sign with the Rockies, Royals, or Zombie Athletics this offseason. Those are the kind of quality organizations that would let the big dog eat!

Bro, you get banned? Staff must be family with Baldelli

Slackjaw62 said:

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King Donkey has gone to the IL with a "left foot contusion" after Rockhead Baldelli spiked him in the clubhouse.

This is the most pathetic Twins 'injury' since the good ol' Joe Mauer days of "bilateral leg weakness".

Expect that Joey's season ends here. God, I hope he can sign with the Rockies, Royals, or Zombie Athletics this offseason. Those are the kind of quality organizations that would let the big dog eat!

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Believe it was "left foot confusion". He heard the saying "he's got two left feet" and it befuddled him into a fugue state. He could use our prayers

King Donkey started his "rehab assignment" for the AAA St. Paul Saints yesterday, and it was a concerning debut as he went 1 for 3 with an RBI single, a walk, and no strikeouts.

Unfortunately MLB rules will allow the Twins to keep Joey stashed on "rehab" for the remainder of the season. He is considered a longshot to make the Twins roster for their two postseason games, during which they will run their streak of postseason futility up to an astounding 20 straight losses before going home for the winter.

The all time record for the most strikeouts in a season in the Japanese league is 204, held by Ralph Bryant since 1993. Joey may want to keep that number in mind as he considers his options this offseason.

After last night's victory, clinching Best of Breed for his Minnesota Twins in the AL Central, Rockhead Baldelli has declared himself "a very stable genius".

In his latest brilliant action, he started a left-handed rookie with a career OPS of .522 at leadoff against a left-handed pitcher.

Meanwhile, King Donkey languishes at Triple A, watching rookies steal the strikeouts that are rightfully his.

Schwarber had 212 strikeouts when the Phillies clinched a WC spot a couple of nights ago. He sat last night which probably ends the dream of catching Reynolds.

However he can pass the thread's namesake with just two more strikeouts for No. 5 on the all-time list. Surely the Phillies won't rest him all four of their remaining games. Moncada and Chris Davis are in reach too if the man is just allowed to play.

A tip of the hat has to go to the Mariner's Suarez and Hernandez for registering Top 10 and Top 13 all-time strikeout seasons for the same team with 4 games to play. With just a handful of strikeouts they are poised to both be inside the Top 10 all-time. They are by far the greatest strikeout tandem in a season that a team has ever seen.

https://www.statmuse.com/mlb/ask/most-strikeouts-in-a-season-by-a-batter

https://www.baseball-reference.com/leagues/MLB-leaders.shtml

(I'm not sure if the links have been updated for last night's games, although for Schwarber it wouldn't matter since the Phillies are denying him his shot at history. It wouldn't surprise me if he was complicit.)

The Porkchop Express said:

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Just wanted to thank Yokel and the rest of you guys for perpetuating this thread for most of the season. I started it with good intentions but needed to step away from TexAgs for a few months from May-August. Excited that Joey G is in the playoffs and hope to get back to contributing more soon.

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Thanks to Rockhead Baldelli, Joey will almost certainly be on ice for the upcoming tilt between the Twins and the Toronto Pretty Little Bluebirds.

After Eugenio Suarez came up a heartbreaking one strikeout short of the season championship at 214, the Seattle Mariners (a team with, at least to date, a surfeit of players at the strikeout position) traded him to the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Prior to Arizona's ridiculous World Series run, I would have said that this was a great opportunity for Suarez. Now, I fear that Torey Lovullo may start putting on airs and acting like striking out 220 times in a season is a bad thing.

Seattle may be playing with fire as well. Should Teoscar Hernandez leave in free agency, it's unclear where their strikeouts will come from.

Joey Gallo, meanwhile, is sequestered in a dark room with a laptop and a brand new Babbel subscription, muttering "Konnichi wa? Konnichi WAH?" over and over again.

I think a full season of Kelenic should help in the strikeout department, though he might not be good enough at other things to warrant 600 PA

rebag00 said:

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Coming soon to an NL stadium near you - Joey Gallo to the Nat-io-nals on a 1 yr. $5 mil deal.
Looks like these threads live on!

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Texas residents, mark your calendars! Your only chance to see King Donkey in the Lone Star State next year is a midweek series in Arlington from April 30-May 2. Take vacation or contract a three day flu, this will be historic!

Tragically, the Twins do not host the Nats this year so I will be making a road trip to see the Donk. I have a couple of possibilities in mind, and will update the thread when plans are finalized.

Oh my god, it looks like King Donkey will have more competition in the strikeout department next year!

The great Miguel Sano, the only player in MLB history to reach 1,000 strikeouts faster than Donkey, has signed a minor league deal with the California Los Angeles Anaheim Angels of Anaheim, complete with an invite to big league spring training.

I knew Sano wasn't going to be content stalling out at 1,042 Ks. He currently sits at #331 on the all time list, tied with Trevor Story.

Our hero, King Donkey, was oppressed by Rockhead Baldelli throughout the month of September and could not continue his meteoric rise up the charts. He is currently tied with Brady Anderson and Will Clark with 1,190 strikeouts, good for #223 on the all time list.

This is going to be a moving year for Donkey, though. Even a conservative 150 Ks would put him the top 150, and 200 Ks would put him close to the top 100.

The Donk is off to a dominant start in spring training, having gone 1 for 14 to date, with a 2 run RBI double, 1 walk, and 8 big strikeouts. That's a slash line of .071/.133/.143, for those of you keeping score at home.

YokelRidesAgain said:

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The Donk is off to a dominant start in spring training, having gone 1 for 14 to date, with a 2 run RBI double, 1 walk, and 8 big strikeouts. That's a slash line of .071/.133/.143, for those of you keeping score at home.

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Wait for the '24 thread start bro, it will be here soon!

The Porkchop Express said:

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YokelRidesAgain said:

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The Donk is off to a dominant start in spring training, having gone 1 for 14 to date, with a 2 run RBI double, 1 walk, and 8 big strikeouts. That's a slash line of .071/.133/.143, for those of you keeping score at home.

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Wait for the '24 thread start bro, it will be here soon!

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How can I wait? I'm like a little kid on Christmas morning!

Don-KEY! Don-KEY! Don-KEY!

the all-time Home Run leader for each MLB franchise, but only players with a career batting average under .200 pic.twitter.com/5xONOjOVMc

— BrooksGate (@Brooks_Gate) March 18, 2024

sburg2007 said:

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the all-time Home Run leader for each MLB franchise, but only players with a career batting average under .200 pic.twitter.com/5xONOjOVMc

— BrooksGate (@Brooks_Gate) March 18, 2024

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"Carter Kieboom" may be the best name in baseball history, but my man better watch his back. Donkey will pass him by the All Star break with at least 13 home runs and 100+ strikeouts!

Nats fan here. He is all but done.

sburg2007 said:

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Nats fan here. He is all but done.

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You shut your dirty mouth!

King Donkey is eternal. and he better be batting cleanup on Opening Day! It's not like the Nats are winning anything!

I'm talking about washed up never was kieboom

sburg2007 said:

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I'm talking about washed up never was kieboom

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Oh. Of course you were. My mistake.

YokelRidesAgain said:

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sburg2007 said:

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I'm talking about washed up never was kieboom

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Oh. Of course you were. My mistake.

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King Donkey make kieboom kaboom! Currently the only person to appear 3 times and very soon to be the only 4 time champion!