quote:

---

quote:

---

I've done oil work in Progresso. Spent a Christmas on the beach there one year. Nasty place. Nice beach. Super short people.

---

WHO CARES DID YOU **** YOUR PANTS???

---

I did my junior year and threw up on myself on the same night. A-1's secs and execs party was lit.

quote:

---

Speaking of unmentionable exits...have you heard of someone having a "lube fart"?


Heard that from my LA bestie and laughed for hours.

---

OMG. I've never heard that term before but I love it and am stealing.

quote:

---

quote:

---

Speaking of unmentionable exits...have you heard of someone having a "lube fart"?


Heard that from my LA bestie and laughed for hours.

---

OMG. I've never heard that term before but I love it and am stealing.

---

You have a use for that term?

quote:

---

I think my story can relate to the OP. After having my baby I had a hemmoroid; no big deal, very common. The doc told me to stay on a stool softener and it would go away on its own. Well I took the pills as recommended. One day I met my husband for lunch. On the way home, I had to go really bad and I knew I couldn't make it. I stopped at a park bathroom but couldn't make it. Had to discard my underwear in that bathroom. Thankfully I kept the car clean, able to go home in my shorts (commando) and home was my next stop. But what an awful event.

---

Dear Penthouse:

quote:

---

quote:

---

quote:

---

Speaking of unmentionable exits...have you heard of someone having a "lube fart"?


Heard that from my LA bestie and laughed for hours.

---

OMG. I've never heard that term before but I love it and am stealing.

---

You have a use for that term?

---

You never know when it may come in handy...

quote:

---

Of course. For example:

"BombayAg posts like a total lubefart."

---

This is exactly how I was thinking of using it! Perfect insult.

I am doing well and would like to try for baby #2. So a year from now my body will be messed up again and I'll have another shat story to post?

I haven't lived I guess cause I have never had this issue before. But y'all have amazing stories.

quote:

---

Here's a quick list of things I like that I get ridiculed for around here. Not really embarrassed about any of them though.

Star Wars prequels
Lord of the Rings
Avatar
Friends
Fast & Furious movies
Backstreet Boys
Ketchup on burgers

I'm sure there are others.

---

Properly ridiculed. Should be embarrassed.

That poor lady

quote:

---

quote:

---

Here's a quick list of things I like that I get ridiculed for around here. Not really embarrassed about any of them though.

Star Wars prequels
Lord of the Rings
Avatar
Friends
Fast & Furious movies
Backstreet Boys
Ketchup on burgers

I'm sure there are others.

---

Properly ridiculed. Should be embarrassed.

---

Hey, Backstreet's back, alright?

thought this thread was going to be about texas tech bahahahahhha

Almost a **** my pants story.

Driving down the highway in rural Kansas, coffee kicked in with no warning early in the morning. Exits were far apart by my brother was nice enough to take the next exit. No gas stations, just a school of portable buildings for Mennonite kids. About the time I got to the grass and squatted, all hell broke loose. I felt bad, wanted to leave an apology note on the pile, but I just left. Found out my brother was trying to get a picture, but it was over so quick and still dark out there is no evidence.

I still feel a little guilty for the location of the dump, but it was there or this would of been a **** my pants story.

When I was around six years old, we stopped at the Grand Canyon during a family vacation. Dad pulled the family truckster up right against the curb at the top of a long steep slope that went down about 100 yards to a cliff that spilled into the Grand Canyon. No fence at the edge of the cliff (this was 1970's pre-snowflake era).

I got out of the car and started walking down the slope. My mom wanted me to hold her hand, but there were some Indian vendors there selling trinkets and I didn't want to look like a titty baby in front of them, so I yanked my arm away from her and started walking down the slope like a badass.

Then my walk turned faster, then it turned into a trot, and before I knew it I was flying down that slope and my feet were only touching about once every 15 feet. I couldn't stop. I remember seeing the edge of the cliff coming up. About 20 feet before the edge, I just threw myself up and sorta spun around and belly-flopped onto the rocky ground and grabbed a plant that was growing out of the rocks (just like Wyle E. Coyote, only I wasn't dangling over the edge just yet).

After the dust cleared, I was still clinging to that plant and I remember looking up and this old Navajo lady (one of the vendors at a turquoise booth) was looking over her shoulder down at me and just shook her head and turned back around.

Did not poop, though.

I think you missed the point of my post.

Story from friend about their toddler's potty training progress = DGAF
Detailed account from my grandmother about the frequency and physical properties of my grandfather's BMs = no thank you
Stories on this thread about drunk antics as they relate to poop = quite amusing

If your idea of fun is hearing unremarkable day to day details about toddlers and old people pooping then we probably won't be friends and I'm okay with that.

More embarrassing admissions that I really am not embarrassed of, but probably should be.

Cock fought a dude one time... and lost
Pissed sitting down in front of my best friends mom while talking shat to my folks (was piss drunk)
I'm emotional AF

quote:

---

I think you missed the point of my post.

Story from friend about their toddler's potty training progress = DGAF
Detailed account from my grandmother about the frequency and physical properties of my grandfather's BMs = no thank you
Stories on this thread about drunk antics as they relate to poop = quite amusing

If your idea of fun is hearing unremarkable day to day details about toddlers and old people pooping then we probably won't be friends and I'm okay with that.

---

My bad. I thought that you were trying to squelch all poop stories from anyone between the ages of 0 and 88.

We cool.

quote:

---

quote:

---

Also, I have a degree from Texas Tech.

---

I have a high school diploma as well.

---

Do not insult my high school diploma.

quote:

---

More embarrassing admissions that I really am not embarrassed of, but probably should be.

Cock fought a dude one time... and lost
Pissed sitting down in front of my best friends mom while talking shat to my folks (was piss drunk)
I'm emotional AF

---

I want to ask, but then again I don't.

Didn't crap my pants, but I was playing a show at a state park cabin. Oddly, there was No bathrooms around. Mid song, I stopped and ran to the woods and dropped a steamer. Awkward 2nd set..

Size does matter

HEY YOU GUYS!!!!

Oh, and if the Romano smells like ammonia, guaranteed you will not trust farts for the next 24 hours...

All fun and games until you get food poison on a pheasant hunt in Kansas, in December. After quickly using up an entire roll of TP in a harvested corn field, I was resorting to frozen corn cobbs, wheat stubble and occasionally random grass. Then got to check out every small town from Dodge City to Oklahoma, with the occasional roadside ditch thrown in for good measure.

Unfortunately, several TexAgers got to witness this glorious incident.

quote:

---

When I was around six years old, we stopped at the Grand Canyon during a family vacation. Dad pulled the family truckster up right against the curb at the top of a long steep slope that went down about 100 yards to a cliff that spilled into the Grand Canyon. No fence at the edge of the cliff (this was 1970's pre-snowflake era).

I got out of the car and started walking down the slope. My mom wanted me to hold her hand, but there were some Indian vendors there selling trinkets and I didn't want to look like a titty baby in front of them, so I yanked my arm away from her and started walking down the slope like a badass.

Then my walk turned faster, then it turned into a trot, and before I knew it I was flying down that slope and my feet were only touching about once every 15 feet. I couldn't stop. I remember seeing the edge of the cliff coming up. About 20 feet before the edge, I just threw myself up and sorta spun around and belly-flopped onto the rocky ground and grabbed a plant that was growing out of the rocks (just like Wyle E. Coyote, only I wasn't dangling over the edge just yet).

After the dust cleared, I was still clinging to that plant and I remember looking up and this old Navajo lady (one of the vendors at a turquoise booth) was looking over her shoulder down at me and just shook her head and turned back around.

Did not poop, though.

---

No cliff involved, but I did the same thing at the state park at Brownwood. My cousins and me were exploring and were at the top of a hill. We saw a playground/fort down the hill and over towards the lake. We took off running down the hill, wearing flip-flops (which were called thongs at the time). We just about tumbled head over heels down that hill. And our feet were screwed from that thong strap cutting in between toes.

quote:

---

All fun and games until you get food poison on a pheasant hunt in Kansas, in December. After quickly using up an entire roll of TP in a harvested corn field, I was resorting to frozen corn cobbs, wheat stubble and occasionally random grass. Then got to check out every small town from Dodge City to Oklahoma, with the occasional roadside ditch thrown in for good measure.

Unfortunately, several TexAgers got to witness this glorious incident.

---

My Kansas poop story above was returning from a pheasant hunt. Yours was worse though, hopeni never have to wipe with a corn cob.

We also had one guy (red raider) get sick stomach and crap his pant in a field because he couldn't get them off quick enough. Funny part we he sat there and cried afterward in a group of about 30 adults.

We also had an older guy get the runs while he was blocking. Couldn't get layers off fast enough and crapped himself. By the time we got to him, he was standing there butt naked with just a the wrists and ankle, and waste bands from his long johns. He had cut the rest off and used what he could to wipe, so he had a pile of crap covered pieces of clothes next to him. I felt bad, it was cold and he was elderly, old enough you couldn't laugh and make fun of him like we did the red raider mentioned above.

Moral of the story - never eat a big greasy breakfast then put a bunch of layers on to go hunting no where near a bathroom.

quote:

---

quote:

---

Here's a quick list of things I like that I get ridiculed for around here. Not really embarrassed about any of them though.

Star Wars prequels
Lord of the Rings
Avatar
Friends
Fast & Furious movies
Backstreet Boys
Ketchup on burgers

I'm sure there are others.

---

Properly ridiculed. Should be embarrassed.

---

BSB were my jam in the 90's.

Last day of A&M class for me was a Thursday...

Went to the Chicken at about 4:00pm. Started drinking, drinking and drinking some more. At some point I ordered a chicken fried steak sandwich and a plate of Nacho's, sour cream and extra Jalapeno's.

Got home at 2:00am, had a flight to Dallas at 6am out of Easterwood. Rolled out of bed at 4:45am, suited up and headed to the Airport. While in the concourse, noticed the old furnace making some very loud rumblings, figured I better clear everything out before getting on a 12 seater plane...

No go, the plumbing was stopped up. We board the plane and before the door is shut, I don't have to poop, but there is a nuclear toxic waste dump mixing in my stomach. I need some pressure relief and I need it now!

I proceed to eak out a little gas on and off for about a minute without making that high pitch old school pressure cooker squeal. This goes on for a bit then we take off. During take off I let her fly, lots of noise people distracted, I let out some fuuuuumes.

After about 10 minutes the flight attendant gets up, opens the bathroom, which "thank goodness right next to me" looks in, flushes the toilet and leaves. The toxic war being fought in my stomach between the sour cream, jalapeno's and the remains of a chicken fried steak have reached Chernobal like status. I have a full blown pilot light blowing fumes into this 250 cubic foot cabin of an airplane. People are starting to cough. The flight attendant again comes down, opens the door to the bathroom, looks around then immediately makes the announcement: We apologize for the smell in the bathroom, we have no idea what it is, we are very sorry for the inconvenience.

People, that is like dropping the green flag Friday afternoon of spring break! I had clearance, I had the OK, I had a flight attendant tell the passengers that the smell was coming from the bathroom. RELEASE the GAS!!!!!! I smiled, laid back in my seat and released what I can only describe as piping hot nuclear toxic fumes into that cabin.

I burnt a hole straight thru that seat...

The pilot could not get on the ground fast enough, and that door was open before the plane stopped rolling. Got off, made a quick deposit and was good to go.

I tore that plane up, not my proudest moment for sure, I can only imagine the other side of this.

You didn't have a travel Scrabble set with you by any chance?