Embarrassing Admissions

16,804 Views | 111 Replies | Last: 7 yr ago by FNG
80s Guy
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In reply to 3rd and 2 • 3:20p, 9/21/16
quote:
quote:
She was just trying to prevent you from blowing your load in the first 2 seconds like the 15 HS guys she ****ed before you. Experienced gal.
Still only lasted 2 seconds


You got yours.

But a follow up question... Did she invite you back to the Tunnel of Love?
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3rd and 2
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In reply to 80s Guy • 3:23p, 9/21/16
AG
quote:
quote:
quote:
She was just trying to prevent you from blowing your load in the first 2 seconds like the 15 HS guys she ****ed before you. Experienced gal.
Still only lasted 2 seconds


You got yours.

But a follow up question... Did she invite you back to the Tunnel of Love?
Oh yes
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2
Swarely
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In reply to 3rd and 2 • 3:43p, 9/21/16
quote:
My high school girl friend made me wrap it up double before we did it for the first time.


This is actually a terrible idea. The friction between the two will cause them to break.
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Spotted Ag
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In reply to haircut • 3:46p, 9/21/16
AG
quote:
Spill your guts about something that has happened to you. Your story is safe here and will not be shared anywhere outside of this forum.

The other day I went mounting biking with a friend. He's super fast and I used to be super fast, but I'm not anymore. We road way past my point of exhaustion but I made it out unscathed. Afterward, I went to eat solo at the boat house grill off 620 and downed my limit of fried catfish, hush puppies and fries. As I set out back to my apartment, my stomach really started hurting and instead of using a gas station bathroom, I tried to hold it until my apartment. Once I parked, I was hit with an unstoppable force and completely shat in my biking shorts. Fortunately, the spandex around my legs held everything in and I had shorts over them, so nobody saw see the mishap.
2 pages and nothing? WTH is mounting biking? Might have to try that with Mrs. Spot.
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pinkdog
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6:56p, 9/21/16
I think my story can relate to the OP. After having my baby I had a hemmoroid; no big deal, very common. The doc told me to stay on a stool softener and it would go away on its own. Well I took the pills as recommended. One day I met my husband for lunch. On the way home, I had to go really bad and I knew I couldn't make it. I stopped at a park bathroom but couldn't make it. Had to discard my underwear in that bathroom. Thankfully I kept the car clean, able to go home in my shorts (commando) and home was my next stop. But what an awful event.
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45-70Ag
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7:00p, 9/21/16
AG
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The Fall Guy
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7:14p, 9/21/16
AG
Ate at the Cow Hop on Northgate. Chili cheese burger. Went clubbing Got drunk and walked to a Diamond Shamrock and passed out on the toilet. Heard knocking and woke up. Notice I shat my pants. Walked 2 miles back to house thru campus with shat in pants. Got rash for 3 months due to shat. This was 1995 so I am over it.
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80s Guy
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In reply to The Fall Guy • 7:15p, 9/21/16
quote:
Ate at the Cow Hop on Northgate. Chili cheese burger. Went clubbing Got drunk and walked to a Diamond Shamrock and passed out on the toilet. Heard knocking and woke up. Notice I shat my pants. Walked 2 miles back to house thru campus with shat in pants. Got rash for 3 months due to shat. This was 1995 so I am over it.


You're Captain Poopy Pants? I thought it was an urban legend!
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The Fall Guy
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7:21p, 9/21/16
AG
My one time I am not proud of
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Tatem
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7:34p, 9/21/16
I don't like bluebell ice cream
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Tatem
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7:35p, 9/21/16
I used to take a lunch box to work
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EVA3
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In reply to The Fall Guy • 7:37p, 9/21/16
AG
quote:
Ate at the Cow Hop on Northgate. Chili cheese burger. Went clubbing Got drunk and walked to a Diamond Shamrock and passed out on the toilet. Heard knocking and woke up. Notice I shat my pants. Walked 2 miles back to house thru campus with shat in pants. Got rash for 3 months due to shat. This was 1995 so I am over it.

That was you?
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malenurse
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9:51p, 9/21/16
AG
I attended tu for one year.
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DannyDuberstein
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9:56p, 9/21/16
AG
If you haven't had to dispose of ****-filled underwear in a random trashcan, then you haven't lived.
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33
Professor Frick
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In reply to DannyDuberstein • 11:16p, 9/21/16
AG
quote:
If you haven't had to dispose of ****-filled underwear in a random trashcan, then you haven't lived.


I read this in Ron Swanson's voice.
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reb,
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11:27p, 9/21/16
AG
ooo i got a poo story

So reb,'s lil bro is two classes younger and went to A&M as well. We both went pot luck for dorm roommates and ended up as suitemates, but that has nothing to do with this story but you just read it anyway. Thursday nights at the Hall was a pretty regular thing back then, and on one fateful night I met him and his girlfriend there. They were doing shots in his truck before going in so I walked over and was chatting with them through the rolled down window. Without warning, my colon called for an immediate evacuation. So I'm standing there and **** myself while maintaining eye contact with my brother. I excused myself, walked over to the tree line, pulled off my button up shirt and white undershirt and put my button up shirt back on. Then pulled my jeans and soiled boxers off and hurled the latter into the woods. I then wiped myself with the undershirt and threw that into the woods as well. Put jeans back on, and John Travolta'd into the Hall and got hammered.

It was great.
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Ginormus Ag
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12:04a, 9/22/16
AG
The other day my daughter was sitting on her training potty and pooped. She looked down and said, "Daddy! I laid an egg!"

My daughter is 3, but sometimes conversations with her are like having a conversation with a drunk person.
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Beer Baron
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In reply to DannyDuberstein • 8:17a, 9/22/16
AG
quote:
If you haven't had to dispose of ****-filled underwear in a random trashcan, then you haven't lived.
Had to do this and then leave work commando once after a surprise sneezeshart.
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haircut
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In reply to pinkdog • 9:04a, 9/22/16
AG
quote:
I think my story can relate to the OP. After having my baby I had a hemmoroid; no big deal, very common. The doc told me to stay on a stool softener and it would go away on its own. Well I took the pills as recommended. One day I met my husband for lunch. On the way home, I had to go really bad and I knew I couldn't make it. I stopped at a park bathroom but couldn't make it. Had to discard my underwear in that bathroom. Thankfully I kept the car clean, able to go home in my shorts (commando) and home was my next stop. But what an awful event.
How you doing?
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marble rye
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9:14a, 9/22/16
AG
Poop stories?

Was at a business meeting in San Francisco at the Westin downtown. Got the most violent food poisoning the night before departing to come home.

The heaving made me crap my pants. I shat two beds, ended up on the toilet holding a trash can. Eventually ended up sleeping naked in the tub. Pajamas stayed in the trash. Every towel in the bathroom was used to clean up mess.

The cleaning woman saw a great horror the next morning.
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MooreTrucker
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In reply to Beer Baron • 9:48a, 9/22/16
AG
quote:
quote:
If you haven't had to dispose of ****-filled underwear in a random trashcan, then you haven't lived.
Had to do this and then leave work commando once after a surprise sneezeshart.
Same.
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MooreTrucker
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9:48a, 9/22/16
AG
Also, I have a degree from Texas Tech.
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haircut
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9:50a, 9/22/16
AG
This thread 1) could have been titled "tell me about the time you shat yourself" and 2) tells me we are a close knit family here in the GB.
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OregonAggie
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9:55a, 9/22/16
AG
Hard to top Haircut's story but here's something I haven't shared with anyone until this thought provoking post.

I was in progresso Mexico a few weeks and and paid to use a bathroom by the beach. Apparently 5 pesos gets you access to a disgusting toilet but no toilet paper, so I used the koozie I brought with me to wipe my ass. Thankfully it didn't take much wiping.
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OregonAggie
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In reply to MooreTrucker • 10:00a, 9/22/16
AG
quote:
Also, I have a degree from Texas Tech.


[URL=.html][/URL]
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Sapper Redux
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In reply to OregonAggie • 10:01a, 9/22/16
This story is only worthy if you then used the coozy to hold a drink. Or gave it to an ex to use.
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Beer Baron
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In reply to MooreTrucker • 10:10a, 9/22/16
AG
Same. We're Techtard sneezeshart buddies.
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Beer Baron
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In reply to OregonAggie • 10:11a, 9/22/16
AG
You would have been screwed if it was one of those dumps that's like wiping a magic marker.
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MooreTrucker
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In reply to Beer Baron • 10:15a, 9/22/16
AG

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MooreTrucker
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In reply to OregonAggie • 10:15a, 9/22/16
AG
quote:
quote:
Also, I have a degree from Texas Tech.


[url=.html][/url]
I will have a degree from TAMU as of next May.
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OregonAggie
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In reply to Beer Baron • 10:24a, 9/22/16
AG
quote:
You would have been screwed if it was one of those dumps that's like wiping a magic marker.


I immediately thought of Parks and Rec after the poop

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bagger05
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10:26a, 9/22/16
AG
The poop stories I normally hear usually come from my grandmother or my friends with small children. Old people and parents with young children often don't realize that while bodily functions may be a huge part of your life, no one besides you cares or wants to hear about it.

If your three-year-old child or your 88-year-old husband gets drunk on Northgate and then craps himself walking across campus, then tell me that story. General bodily function updates are not usually very interesting.
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BassCowboy33
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In reply to OregonAggie • 11:23a, 9/22/16
quote:
Hard to top Haircut's story but here's something I haven't shared with anyone until this thought provoking post.

I was in progresso Mexico a few weeks and and paid to use a bathroom by the beach. Apparently 5 pesos gets you access to a disgusting toilet but no toilet paper, so I used the koozie I brought with me to wipe my ass. Thankfully it didn't take much wiping.


I've done oil work in Progresso. Spent a Christmas on the beach there one year. Nasty place. Nice beach. Super short people.
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Beer Baron
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In reply to BassCowboy33 • 11:28a, 9/22/16
AG

quote:
I've done oil work in Progresso. Spent a Christmas on the beach there one year. Nasty place. Nice beach. Super short people.


WHO CARES DID YOU **** YOUR PANTS???
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marble rye
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In reply to Beer Baron • 11:31a, 9/22/16
AG
Speaking of unmentionable exits...have you heard of someone having a "lube fart"?


Heard that from my LA bestie and laughed for hours.
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